FOR THE PAST MONTH WE HAVE LOST EACH OTHER, HOW DO WE GET IT BACK

[TANNER'S MOM]

OH OK, THIS IS HARD. BUT FOR THE LAST MONTH MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN REALLY BUSY AND UNABLE TO CONNECT.

It seems that between work and life nothing is working right. I am too tired or he is. We haven't been having our nightly pillow talk. It is hard right now and it is causing tension and we need some release that just hasn't happened it.

Last night I laid in bed waiting for him to make the first move and that didn't happen. This morning he was waiting on me, but I needed to hurry, I had to pick another child up before school.

Has this every happened to someone else. I feel like we need to reconnect big time. It makes me sad. But with 4 kids and a farm and 2 full time jobs we are losing sight of each other.

That king size bed is suddenly way to big

[kimberley]

((((hugs)))) i have BTDT it is so hard to reconnect with such busy lives but you have to make the time! even if it is just once a month, you need to take a night out for just each other. keep some of the romance alive with love emails or notes. don't wait for each other to start something. if he doesn't make a move, then you do it. it is so important to keep that connection going. talk, talk, talk. don't let insecurities grow because you aren't being reassured. i did and it made our lives miserable. now, we try to do something little everyday to remind each other how much we love each other and try to get out once in a while alone. it has made the world of difference. we are here if you need to talk.

[favre4fan]

It is sometimes hard with the hustle and bustle of everday life to disconnect.I have my job, 2 boys in sports, and school, and somehow find time to make it to the gym at least 5 times a week,so I know how rough it can be. Dh and I usually make it a point no matter how busy to pick up the phone or send an email or just the other day he text message my cell phone with an I love U. Don't wait for each other because he may be doing the same thing waiting on u. If time gets in the way just do little things, the small things always make a difference.

[darrylswifeskylersmom]

ALL I can say is I know how u feel!
and i hope things get better!

[Maddie&EthansMom]

You have gotten some great advice. I would just like to reiterate that you need to keep trying. A marriage is something you have to work on daily. It is very hard to stay connected and we all get busy with other things.

Of course I have been there. We go through it a lot. IMO it is good to miss your husband and miss that connection. That is what lets you know that you need to take some action. Don't let it slip away. Make some time for the 2 of you. You won't regret it. I assure you he is wanting it back, too.

Keep us posted!

[gr33n3y3z]

Ed and I have been there and its hard to get it back but you have to make time for each other and I can relate with you 4 kids its not so darn easy he works 2 full times jobs 1 job with shift work that sucks. he works 6am to 6 pm or 6pm to 6am than sleeps for a few hours and goes to work at his other job. It will work out fine you both have to find time for each other write him little notes and leave them in places like pants pockets or his jacket etc.

This post has been edited by gr33n3y3z on Nov 4 2004, 04:22 PM

[Josie83]

I've not been through this but I'm sure its difficult. i didn't have itme to read the other replies so will just stick my two pence in! I would just suggest trying to make some time for each other, any way you oculd go out together even for a couple of hours tot alk? If its the bedroom that's disappointing you, I wouldn't wait for him to make the first move - be proactive! xx

[Gatalita]

I know the feeling. My hubby is ALWAYS buisy with different things. Lately I've been going to bed alone while he is doing stuff on the computer. Added to that sometimes he gets into a rush to go someplace that he will give Zuriel a kiss and then totally forget about giving me one. I know it is hard, but just a simple "I love you" says more to me than anything that he does. I think I'm going to try and leave different notes around and see how that works out.