Desperation is starting to set in, My 3 children are fighting and destroyin

Hi every1, this is my first time here and I am hoping to hear from you. I have 3 children. 2 girls 7 and 6 and a son who is 4. Every night seems to be a war zone. During the day while my girls are at school life is quiet and smooth. As soon as my girls get home from school my son just goes a bit crazy. Constant fighting between the 4 and 7 year old are quickley driving me and my husbanc insane. We talk alot, time outs are not working and extra chores do no seem to work either. I just dont know what to do anymore. The chidlren also break everything it seems. I am getting desperate. Any helpful suggestions would be appreciated.

Oh gosh, I wish I had suggestions for you, but I am a first time mommy to a 14 month old. I don't even want to think about the future, lol.

I just wanted to say Hi and welcome to the board! I'm sure there are other's who have btdt that will chime in. I hope you find a solution quickl!

Hi April . Welcome to the boards! I'm Jennifer, mom to 3 girls ages 5,4, and 3. Kids really do get to he a handful at times don't they? Have you tried taking away priviliges? Like taking aways t.v. or favorite playthings? When my girls fight they get sent to bed for a period of time.

I'm sure some of the other moms will have some great suggestions for you. Hang in there-being a parent isn't always the easiest job in the world!

Hi April! Welcome to Parenting Club!

I am a first time Mom, so I am not much help. I just wanted to welcome you and offer some hugs. I have my hands full with one, so I can imagine what you are going through.

I had 4 brothers and sisters, and we did fight quite a bit when we were younger, but we outgrew it when we graduated. I am not sure what else you can do... taking away priveledges worked with us sometimes, maybe give that a try.

And, I know when we were younger, my Mom put away anything that could be broken. It wasn't until we were older that she put her knick-knacks back out.

Welcome! For us it seems to matter more if we take away a priviledge. Nathan goes nuts if we do that.

Do you have a structured evening for them? Dinner, then homework, then bath, then quiet time? A structured schedule has always worked well for us because the boys know what to expect. And if we deviate from that then it is a priviledge and some of the schedule is pushed back.

I would definitely say that hitting them (not literally) where it hurts has more impact then just piling on the chores. And definitely chose your battles! If they make a mess then they are all old enough to clean it up after the chaos dies down. One option is to just get rid of many of their things. Give it to charity. Tell them that if they do 'x' again then you will take something away every time. They won't take you seriously unless you do it.

HUGS
Julie

Welcome April!

i have 2 boys, 5 and 7yo, and a 2 mo old daughter. the boys fight all the time and i find the only thing that works is to separate them. even when their separate time outs are over and they have apologized, they are not to interact with each other for the rest of the night (they usually war at dinner time). they actually miss playing with each other and behave (for a little while anyways). if the fighting continues, a shopping bag of their favorite toys comes out of their room for a week. i know how frustrating it can be and i am sorry u have to go through this.

look forward to reading more posts from you and hope things get a little less crazy around the house for you!

I wanted to thank you for your support and suggestions. It is very nice to know and see with your own eyes that a person is not alone . My daughter and I sat down and made an daily activity schedule together that we all could live with . We have had a few bumps and detours but over all it is working out well. As for my son, well i have done the same thing with things more appropiate for a 4 year old. He is a very active little boy and loves to move so we exercie together (which i need anyway ;-) ) and he is back to taking a nap!!!!! yeeeeeehaaaaawwwww free time. I just want to let ya'll know how i appreciated you and to let you know how some things have changed. My husband and I have really noticed a big difference!!

Thanks again!!
April in TX

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