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> Hello :), I'm new here
+Zemirah+
  Posted: Mar 28 2003, 09:03 AM
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Just coming over from PP November expecting bd and wanted to say hello -- I like these forums smile.gif . I'm Zemi, 34 yo mama to 6 and expecting baby #7 Nov 18 or thereabouts (count me in the "my babies come when they darn well please" category). Looking forward to chatting with you all!

Zemi
and babylove #7, gest age 33 days and counting thumb.gif


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Blessings,
Zem

Loving all our many babies... 6 born into my arms and 4 born into Heaven from my womb
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MommyToAshley
  Posted: Mar 28 2003, 09:09 AM
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Hello, Welcome, and Congratulations!

Wow! Mommy to 6 and expecting #7! How wonderful. I hope you don't mind, but since I am a first time Mommy, I may be asking you a lot of questions. haha.

I am glad you decided to join us and looking forward to talkin with you more!



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Dee Dee , Mommy to:
Ashley Marie 9/05/02
Joshua Lee 2/03/00 (Our Angel in Heaven)


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TLCDad
Posted: Mar 28 2003, 06:44 PM
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wavey.gif Hello Zemi wavey.gif Welcome to Parenting Club.

Wow #7! baby.gif Congratulations! forum_balloon.gif Thanks for joining the board. I am sure your experience will be much appreciated here! wink.gif
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+Zemirah+
Posted: Mar 28 2003, 07:11 PM
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Thanks MommyToAlshley and TLCDad! I am wide open for any questions you might have -- I've practically run the gamut in my own pregnancies (unfortunately, in some ways) and am a doula, childbirth educator (only when I feel called to a particular couple -- my life is kinda busy for teaching large groups) and I have self-and group-studied for midwifery, though I have no plans in the immediate future to enter midwifery but may down the road (oh my, I have a few babies to raise first wink.gif ). If I don't know the answer to your question, I'll help ya get the answer thumb.gif . I am all about self-education and excellent nutrition being the key to having the optimal pregnancy and birth -- and I am VERY chatty when given half a chance LOL. biggrin.gif Can ya tell?

Hugs,
and thanks for the warm welcome!


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Blessings,
Zem

Loving all our many babies... 6 born into my arms and 4 born into Heaven from my womb
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MommyToAshley
Posted: Mar 28 2003, 07:21 PM
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Wow! thumb.gif We are truly blessed to have you here! We should add a forum called "Ask Zemirah"! LOL

Ok, since you offered, mind if I ask you a question. biggrin.gif

This is probably one you have heard many times before... but what is the best way to get my little girl to sleep through the night. She is 6 months old, she is breastfed and is now on solids. She is cutting teeth now (I can feel them through her gums) but she never really slept thru the night. We had 3 days in a row where she did great, but I think that was a fluke. I tried to recreate those days, but she went back to her old thing of waking up several times during the night. I am not a fan of Cry It Out, but I did try it once because she was getting really bad (waking up every hour) and the Pediatrician recommended CIO. It did not work, she would not calm herself down and I ended up in tears. I won't try that again! She is so happy during the day, and usually takes 2 naps that are about 45 minutes. She never cries except at night when she wants me to come get her. I will let her fuss, but once she starts screaming, I go get her. Any advice is appreciated.


--------------------
Dee Dee , Mommy to:
Ashley Marie 9/05/02
Joshua Lee 2/03/00 (Our Angel in Heaven)


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+Zemirah+
Posted: Mar 28 2003, 08:37 PM
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WAHHHHHHHH! dry.gif I just had this HUGE post all typed up LOL and I LOST IT!!! blink.gif *sigh* I will have to come back tomorrow lol because my children are clamoring for me to come and sit with them in the LR -- we are going to listen to a tape of one of the old Sherlock Holmes radio programs -- bought at set for Christmas and the children LOVE them. smile.gif See ya tomorrow!!


--------------------
Blessings,
Zem

Loving all our many babies... 6 born into my arms and 4 born into Heaven from my womb
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+Zemirah+
Posted: Mar 29 2003, 07:43 AM
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QUOTE (MommyToAshley @ Mar 28 2003, 10:21 PM)
...what is the best way to get my little girl to sleep through the night.  She is 6 months old, she is breastfed and is now on solids.  She is cutting teeth now (I can feel them through her gums) but she never really slept thru the night.  We had 3 days in a row where she did great, but I think that was a fluke.  I tried to recreate those days, but she went back to her old thing of waking up several times during the night.  I am not a fan of Cry It Out, but I did try it once because she was getting really bad (waking up every hour) and the Pediatrician recommended CIO.  It did not work, she would not calm herself down and I could not calm her without picking her up.  I don't want to try that again! She is so happy during the day, and usually takes 2 naps that are about 45 minutes.  She never cries except at night when she wants me to come get her.  I will let her fuss, but once she starts screaming, I go get her.  Any advice is appreciated.

Wellllll I will try to answer without driving you too crazy lol. I think what you will want to do in this situation will be determined largely by your parenting "style" and beliefs. First just let me say that I am of the opinion that what works best for each family is what works best. Period. thumb.gif So many people are staunchly minded toward only ONE way of parenting, but parenting is a journey and no "style" of parenting is perfect -- do what works and feels "right" for you and your family. When we had our two eldest children, we were very "mainstream" parents if you kwim. We put our babies to bed in the crib/bed in the other room from ours. We fed them solid food early, 4-6 mos of age. We had the boys CIO in the crib by the time they were about 8-9 mos old or so.

Nowadays, our babies sleep with us as long as I am nursing them, and longer if they desire to. We let our children mainly choose when to move off into their own beds (we encourage them starting at about 2.5 and they always want to eventually) which shows us that the child is truly ready for that step. We carry our infants often in a sling through the daytime (less as they age) and we do not ever let them CIO -- actually, they almost never cry. We get far more sleep now that our baby (at the time) is snuggled safe and warm with mama and papa in our big bed. Now, I should be quick to say this doesn't mean I/we jump at every beck and call of our babies/children -- we don't and in a large family, there are many times when baby cannot come first as long as the need isn't absolutely immediate. You needn't rush up and rescue baby from her crib the very moment she awakens from a nap. But I think CIO-at-night to train her to sleep is a different issue... sends a different message IMO.

It is really common for babies to have a nice little stint of sleeping through the night for a few days, then no more for a while, then maybe a few months later sleeping all night again for a few nights. Two steps forward, one step back. I think the waking up at night is really more of a maturity and security issue, if you know your baby's needs have all been met (dry diaper, warm but not stiflingly warm clothing/room, food in her tummy, cuddled and snuggled and loved up on before bedtime). I would venture to say that your dd is lonely when she cries for you at night.

If you and/or your dh are not big on the idea of co-sleeping with your dd in your bed, you might try to add a few crib toys hanging on the sides of the crib (that way they don't pose a hazard to baby while she is sleeping). She may be waking and then look for entertainment (which is why she calls on you) so perhaps letting her have the toys available will help her to entertain herself until she falls to sleep again.

Honestly, I have to say... I don't think letting baby CIO until s/he is at least 12-15 mos is even useful. At six months, she is not truly trying to manipulate you in a more mature manner, as we think of "manipulation". She is not "defying" you. She is calling out to see if a response comes... "hey, I am awake in here... I am lonely... will you come be with me? If I call, will you respond?" I remember letting our boys CIO, and how they would cry a very not-truly-needy cry for a few minutes (or moments even) and then stop and listen, as if to determine whether we were going to come. Then, cry a few moments more... and silent listening again. And I remember how they eventually stopped crying either from exhaustion (and falling asleep) or from finally getting the message that, "They aren't coming. I'm on my own here. It doesn't matter if I call out." I am not sure that message was such a good one for them to grasp hold of and get a good grip on in those young months.

Clear as mud? LOL If you haven't read anything by Dr. and Martha Sears, you might want to pick up something by them, and conversely, Dr.Spock. There are a BUNCH of other excellent authors and my preggo-brain is keeping me from remembering the best ones to mention (ugh!) Wait -- okay -- look for stuff by Penelope Leach -- she has excellent material! Just food for thought, I hope, and I hope I didn't offend anyone with my comments. It's all just my opinion smile.gif .


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Blessings,
Zem

Loving all our many babies... 6 born into my arms and 4 born into Heaven from my womb
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MommyToAshley
Posted: Mar 29 2003, 08:37 AM
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Thanks for your reply -- your suggestions are very much appreciated.

I agree, I did not want to turn this into a CIO debate. I found a lot of useful information in your post. I have thought about co-sleeping, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I am one of those paranoid Moms. Although I know a lot of parents safely co-sleep, I am so scared of smoothering her in my sleep. If I co-slept, I would never get any sleep. When Ashley was just weeks old and in her bassinet in our room right next our bed, I couldn't sleep because I was up checking on her every few mintues. The DH had to get one of those AngelCare monitors that detects her breathing movements just so I could rest.

I guess it is not that big of an issue, because I really don't mind getting up with her. Sometimes, I just pick her up, hug her, and lay her back in her bed and she goes back to sleep. In fact, on the days that she did sleep 9 hours, I was up checking on her so I didn't sleep anyways! She is not going to be this small forever!

I am going to check out the books you mentioned, and try some of the things you suggested.

Thanks again and I'm glad you're here!


--------------------
Dee Dee , Mommy to:
Ashley Marie 9/05/02
Joshua Lee 2/03/00 (Our Angel in Heaven)


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+Zemirah+
Posted: Mar 29 2003, 10:28 AM
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BTW -- that pic of your dd is absolutely darling! smile.gif


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Blessings,
Zem

Loving all our many babies... 6 born into my arms and 4 born into Heaven from my womb
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MommyToAshley
  Posted: Mar 29 2003, 10:35 AM
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Happy Spring!
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Joined: 8-February 03



Thank You!


--------------------
Dee Dee , Mommy to:
Ashley Marie 9/05/02
Joshua Lee 2/03/00 (Our Angel in Heaven)


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PMEmail PosterUsers Website
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