Changing Names

DH and I were going through our adoption paperwork last night and it asks what we want to change the child's name to.

We don't want to keep it David--and we don't like the middle name. The birthmom asked that we please change his name, since he is ours now.

Do we start calling him by his new name now? He knows his name and even responds to it and tries to say it? Do we tell people (on FB, etc) that his name has changed?

Seems awkward, but I'm sure people do it all the time. I don't really care what others think, I'm just trying to wrap my head around this.

Our reasoning is that we chose our other kids' names and we want his name to be a part of us and I think there is so much in a name.

Anyway...just not sure if we should wait til the adoption is final, or just start calling him by his new name.

personally i dont like the idea. especially if he already knows his name.
my parents kept my name except the last. They changed that. I dunno my name is kinda one of the things that is MINE and I like it and would have been pretty upset if it had been changed. Dunno. Just wanted to throw in the "adoptee" point of view.

I only have experience with this with one cat that we have now. So I'm not sure how much help my experience would really be. All other pets we've had we always kept their given names when we adopted them, even if I didn't like them. One of the cats we adopted last year, he was called Minnie Hyatt and Ryan said there was no way he could ever call him that, so he changed it. It was so awkward and weird for me and made me feel a little sad for him because that was his name since birth and he knew it well. Regardless of how I felt about it, the rest of the family was going to call him something else so I just did it and started calling him by his new name. Even when I call the APL to talk to them about him I have to tell them his old name because that's how they remember him.

Anyways, just start calling him by his new name, IMO. If you have made the decision and you are comfortable with it, the more you call him his new name, he will understand eventually, right? It's like a nickname, ya know. We call Megan "Little Bit" and we use that name a LOT more than her real name. My bosses son's name is Michael (I actually had to think about what his real name was ) but when he was little he did something that got him the name "Sharky" and that's all they call him now, seriously. I am not for sure if he even knows his real name. At school the teachers call him Sharky, everyone calls him sharky. He was in a newspaper article about golf and he was even referred to as Sharky, not his real name. So think of it in the beginning as a nickname, and eventually it will just be his name, kwim?

I'm not even sure if I've answered your question or offered anything but babble but I'm sure you'll figure out whaqt exactly is the best way - the best way for yiour family and what is best in your heart.

I don't think it would be strange to change his name, people will get used to it. And he is young enough to make the transition easily. When he is older he won't even remember the name David.

What name do you guys have in mind for him?

Karen that's funny because we call our kids their nicknames moreso than their real names, too. The kids have already started calling him by his "new" name--and this is the name Scotty has used for him since we brought him home. I'M the one that keeps calling him David. Go figure!!

Nadia--my mother was adopted and she feels the exact opposite as you. She feels her given name was a connection to her birth parents and she wanted to feel a part of her new family in every way.

Nina--Thanks! I will reveal it when we've come to a concrete decision and the papers are signed and sent off to the attorney.

Well see, now you just need to start calling him his new name and before long he won't know the difference. The sooner you start doing it the sooner the whole family can adjust. It won't take long and it will be natural for all of you.

An old girlfriend's sister divorced her husband and changed her (their) son's name because she didn't want any connection to the name "he" gave their son.

I think the boy was 4 or 5 years old.

We all thought it was odd, but honestly, kids could care less.

I would start calling him by his new name now so he can get use to it. Congratulations btw he is a beautiful little boy!! how old is he?

Jessica--he is 11 months old.

Mike--It's true. Our neighbor changed her name from Jolene to Valerie when she was in grade school. No one thought anything of it--except I still call her Jolene and she's now in her 20's.

I say that you should start calling him his new name!

When will you share his name with us?

He doesn't know anything about the paperwork, I'd start calling him his new name now so he gets use to it, and before it gets to confusing.

I was called by my formal given name until a first grade teacher started calling me Jeanne. It stuck, and even my own parents started referring to me that way. Kids adapt.

Congratulations! I admit I haven't been on in a while, so I may have missed your post! I know for me, when my parents divorced and my step-father starting raising us, it was confusing for me because my lastname changed. But I think that was only because of school and doctors know my birth lastname. I think if the other kids are already calling him by his new name than I would start to call him by his new name!