Logan's teacher called yesterday..., I don't know what to do :( !

His teacher called yesterday to tell me that he had told 2 girls that he was going to tie them up, paint circles on their heads, and shoot them !!! I have no idea where he could even GET ideas like this, although he did say it was watching "killer movies" at his dad's (like Rambo, and other cr*ppy movies like that); they're not allowed in OUR house. I don't know what to do! I'm still in shock! He wasn't expelled (yet), but it might be an option. He needs mental help of some sort, because he also told us that he wants to kill a bully in his class, too. And to think I thought he was normal this whole time .

I feel like the WORST mother in the world. I knew there was a reason the boys shouldn't go to their dad's.

This post has been edited by teddybearmom on Dec 12 2003, 04:48 AM

wow, thats tough......That is definately a reason, as far as I am concerned, not to go to their dads. I mean, if he may get expelled over this.....maybe next time he visits his dad, have a chat with your ex-dh and tell him what happened at school and how he said he watched killer movies at his house. So sorry that you are dealing with this.

Oh I am soo sorry, your not a bad mom, you probalbly dont have much choise when it come to letting them go to there dads. This is not your fault but something that need to be handled quickly. I hope you can find some answers from him on why he feels the need to do this and maybe get him help, and as for the father he should be told about this and asked what are you going to do to help your son, if he does not care than I would have to see about trying to take visitations away until your son is better. I am sorry your dealing with all this espically this time of year. Get some rest and clear your head and talk and spend time with your son. We are here for you and will be glad to help any way I can for now I send you tons of hugs!

i am so sorry u are going through this i have similar issues with the boys' father and i know how difficult it can be getting through to them that their behaviour affects the child. you are in no way a bad mom. i know it is hard not to feel that way, but you have to know it is not your fault. maybe a meeting with their dad and the principal would help. maybe then he will see how serious this has gotten and hearing it from someone other than you will get it through his head. i know my ex constantly tunes me out like i have no idea what i am talking about all the time (when in actuality, he is the one that has no clue!). do they offer counselling at the school? hopefully u can all figure it out soon. If you ever need to talk, email me at: kimberleygb@yahoo.com
my prayers and thoughts are with you. please keep us updated.

Ugh again we share the same boat on this one. I do not allow anything over PG and dear daddy lets him watch whatever he wants. I think little boys go thru the *kill* stage anyways, it just needs alot of talking and explaining. Forgot about trying to get thru to their dad, that is impossible. I know in NY there is a zero tolerance rule and a child would be expelled for saying anything like that. Are you able to sit down with him and have a discusion that he understands? My oldest is 11 and thank god has out grown all of that, he knows there are serious outcomes if he were to talk that way. I hope you can find something that works for you and him. Good Luck, sorry for rambling.....

I am so sorry you are going through that. Try not to beat yourself up about it. It sounds like the root of the problem is your ex. I agree with boys going through the *kill* stage, my little brother was obsessed with knives when he was younger we even called him Blade instead of Jarrod...............ok kind of weird! But we teased his obsession and we were kids too. I think everyone has to grow up dealing with talking through their agression and maybe his comments about the bully at school were just that. You are doing the right thing looking into getting help for him, you can stop it before it starts let him talk it out and better understand himself. I truly feel for you and can't even fathom how hard this must be for you to deal with. Best of luck, I will keep you and your son in my thoughts and prayers.

My parents are going through the same thing with my nephew. They have him most of the time, but when he is at his mom's she lets him get by with anything. The child knows WAY too much about drugs, murder, scary and gorey movies. (he is only 5!!) It breaks my heart. You are not alone. There are a lot of moms who have to deal with this sort of thing. It isn't your fault and you aren't a bad mom. You are doing your best with a crummy situation. I agree that you all should talk or that the school should call his dad and let him know what is going on as well.

omg what a great father!!! You are NOT a bad mother in any way shape or form!!!! I hope things get better soon!!!! (((((HUGS))))

Sounds like something Ex Dork would do. He is such an idiot. I don't think the kids should go and see him anymore, or until he learns how to take care of them, and know what they should or should not watch. Hopefully Logan will learn that saying stuff like that isn't right, but I agree that it could be a phase. Everyone says stuff that they don't mean. I don't know much about kids that age, but I know when I was little I said some stupid stuff too.

Hang in there Mollie and everything will work out! ....ex dh! Wish both of us could!

(((((HUGS)))))

First of all, YOU are an AWESOME Mom.... I can tell that by your posts. Maybe you can have a talk with your Ex and if things don't change, maybe you can go to court to get his visitations taken away. I am sure the school would back you on this one. I agree that the root of all this might be what he watches on TV at Dads... he may not mean it, just repeating what he hears and sees there.

I hope he doesn't get suspended and you are able to help him understand why the things he said were wrong.

OMG that is so awful! My sister went through the same thing with her ex. He just was not a good father at all and my nephew was so screwed up because of him! He doesn't see his dad anymore and he has really turned around. My sister and nephew went for Therapy together! Is there anyway you could get the visits with his father to stop? I hope things work out for you and your son!

Thanks everyone for the support! I'm glad I can vent/cry to you guys! I'm going to call his dad today and explain everything to him.

I'm not sure what it would take to get the visitations to stop, but I know that he would fight me on that, even though he doesn't care about the kids that much.