My Daughters friend died

[Lizzie]

My youngest daughter lost a friend when she was 9 years old. She is now 15, soon to be 16, and struggling very much with it. In the past year shes been scared to sleep at peoples houses (her friend died at a sleepover). Her friend birthday is on the 31 of December, and she died on the 27th of December, she hates Christmas, and that whole time. I understand, but what can I do to help her cope? Shes never went out on New Years Eve, and I just want her to have fun and remmeber good things, and not sit around and be sad. Any advice?

[1lilpeanut2love]

I am sorry about your DD's friend. Maybe she needs to go to counseling or something. Good Luck to her. You daughter still may be in deniel about her friends death. I'm sorry I hope your daughter can cheer up and be happy!

BTW--> How did the friend die? You said it was at a sleepover?

[Lizzie]

Thank you. yes she did die at a sleepover, The house she was staying at caught on fire, due to an unknown cause, and she died of smoke inhaltion.

[cameragirl21]

gosh, Lizzie, that's a very sad and terrible story. how awful for your DD and for her friend and her family. imagine how awful the family who was hosting the sleepover feels.
as for your DD, sounds like she can't get past this, and of course that's hard to do but it's been six years and of course she has to move on with her life, sad as it is without her friend.
i think maybe it would be good to send her to see a therapist to try to talk through this and see if with the help of the therapist, your DD can be happy again.

[1lilpeanut2love]

OMG I am SO sorry to hear that! What a horrible thing to happen!

[paradisemommy]

ita with the counseling but i was going to suggest around the holidays to make it more of a family time to maybe help her through this time..maybe try to go out of your way to spend a little more time with her and try and get her to open up and really talk to her..tell her "it's ok to be sad but there's no reason you have to be scared"..

i'm so sorry to hear about this tragic accident..i think i would be devastated too.

[mummy2girls]

I suggest couselling, even group couscelling if she does not want to do one on one. I lost my son 7 years ago and it still hurts! This year has been severe for me and usually i can handle the loss and pain alot better. And Christmas always gets to me as well, if it wasnt for my DD i would not celebrate christmas. Group couscelling helped for me and i started it up again. I think it will be easier for your dd to get through this all and talk to people who have been througha loss as well. Look for some group ones if there is any near you at all. if not then i do suggest one on one. Its been a few years and she hasnt gotten over the initial shock yet and to keep it all bottled up instead of talkign about it and handling it can be dangerous to her health. (((HUGS)))

alos was she there when the fire broke out? she could be dealing with survivor guilt as well..

[hawkshoe]

It definately sounds like counseling is in order here, the sooner the better.