13 yr old out of control

[stressedmom31]

My 13 yr old son is out of control started at about age 11 and has esculated.He is very disrespectful the majority of the time.Name calls siblings ,hits them,pushes them,smart mouths me,has terrible grades in school,hangs with boys that do not care,breaks things,has stolen things from me,stabbed another kid in the leg with a pencil at school when fighting.The only time he behaves even somewhat is when he thinks it will get him his way or my husband (his father) is home.This behavoir is of course starting to rub off onto some of my other children (I have 5 altogether).He does not respond well to when I dicipline him he tries to walk all over me.My husband and I have been looking into things like teen boot camps,wilderness camps.This would be extremly difficult for us to afford as I do not work my husband does and we barely get by.Also, I am hoping something else will get through to my son so that we do not have to send him out of the home.I am going this weekend to buy the DVD documentary "Scared Straight." Make my son watch this with me.I also plan on getting him a mental evaluation to see if anything else could be going on OR if it is just attention seeking.I also plan on changing him to a different school next year which expects more from the kids, stricter etc. The school he attends now is behind all other schools in this county and the vice principal is LAZY flat out all there is to it.Anyway,my son also does'nt like to take respnbility for his own doings so we are trying to teach him that when something bad happens to him it is HIS fault and not someone elses when he gets in trouble its HIS fault.He tells me he hates me but of course this is when hes not getting his own way.I could go on but I have rambled enough.I am glad to find an active board so many are dead lol.I could use some support here as im frustrated and scared for my kid. Thank you so much

[gr33n3y3z]

I think what your planing on doing is a great idea with seeking out help for starters.
Boot camps and what not are always a last resort but they cant guaruntee it will work either.
Good Luck with your son keep us posted

[hawkshoe]

What have you personally been doing when he acts out like this? Are you punishing him and following through with the punishments? Do you and your husband spend time with him? Please don't take this the wrong way. I just find that often when kids act out like this it is because they either want attention or they have been allowed to get away with things. It is very important for him to know that there are consequences for his actions and that you and your husband are in agreement about what those consequences are. Once you make the decision to discipline you must follow through. If you are already doing those things and he is still acting out, then I would look into other interventions for him.

[stressedmom31]

Thanks Lisa and Hawk


Hawk I understand what your saying and I am not offended at all.I realize if my child is acting this poorly somewhere down the line I am at fault I have made mistakes or just been frustrated and did'nt follow through all the time.My son has acted this way still sometimes even when I would follow through with my threats long periods of time.I have also had periods of time where I have slacked off alot out of frustration and not wanting to deal with it all.I do feel there should be some intervention though as far as mental eval. and maybe some counseling and things.The scared striaght video would be hopefully something to help scare my son to never want to end up in a jail.As far a teen boot camp or anything yes that would be a last resort if me and his father being more consistent all the time and making sure we spend time with our son does'nt work(I spend more time with him then my husband).He needs to know there are consequenses for the wrong he does.I am always open to advice and constructive critisism when it comes to parenting I do not know all the answers ..they should of came with instruction books for each individual child lol.

thanks again and anymore comments are welcomed

This post has been edited by stressedmom31 on Oct 23 2006, 01:11 PM