My little sister, Don't know what to do, out of control

My little sister is what you could call " the devil child". I really need help/advice with what to do about her, and this seemed like a pretty nice and caring community.
Leah is currently 13, and is uncontrollable. She hangs out with the wrong group of people at school, is disobident and is the child from h*ll. We currently live with Caleb our oldest brother ( half brother), who decided to take us in after our father died. He is an ER doctor and works from 4pm-4am. Also our little cousin is living with us currently (Jaylinn) she is 11, for some reasons.
That means it's just leah, jay and me most of the time. I really don't feel like I have a social life at all, i feel like a nanny. As soon as school ends, i go and pick up leah, and jay, take jay to swim and whatever activties they have after school. Along with that comes authority. Caleb has told them that I have full authority over them. Jay has no problem with it what so ever. Leah and I sure do.
Leah has always been a little sh*t (excuse my language). But recently it's gotten out of control. I tell caleb he needs to stay home more and she problably needs a male figure in her life, she doesn't listen to me. He has given me the power to do anything practially and I seriously don't know what the hell to do .
For instance, she sneeks out, and smokes with her bf ( happened once). What can i do about that? I grounded her, did the grounding work? Well, no, she went out the second day. I told caleb, and he talked her. She doesn't question him or anything and is an angle to him.
I am finally am on here for help because she was caught red handed sneeking out with her friends, went and egged her ex best friends house ( girl drama). And someone called the police, and she hit the police officer. Since i am not 18, he rang the door bell there is leah, scared me half to death. They made it into such a big a deal, and I can't get a hold of caleb.
Anyhow, I seriously don't know what to do, she needs to change her attitude and fast for crying out loud she is 13. Caleb mentioned spanking, I myself wouldn't feel right since i am her sister, and I don't think its right for a teen to be spanked. But if it comes down to it I will.
She is my family, i have no choice but to take care of her, and really I don't have a problem with it, but it is ruining my life.
If anyone has any ideas or advice on how to handle 13 year old brats please if you could just help:(.
thank you,
Amanda

( btw, I could go on and on about what she does, but I won't. Lets just say everyhting consists of: swearing, lying, cheating, disrespect, even hitting).

Also, the thing that worries me is well her looks. I have to say she is *very* pretty and popular. I did help with that I am a senior and captain cheerleader, she is in jr high and is a cheerleader too. Her looks get her everywhere. She doesn't listen to me about boys and she talks to guys as old as MY age and they flirt with her. I don't know how to get it through to her that they want to take avantage. I am really afraid about the worst happpening, her being raped. She is just out of control.

Another thing that is a big deal is myspace( i dont know if you guys have heard of that site). But, her school got a record of hers, and lets just say it had very shamefull things on it...

This post has been edited by gr33n3y3z on May 14 2006, 05:14 AM

not sure what to say bc its a very difficult situation here
I think she needs an older adult to come down hard on her and not you!

I think so too, Caleb doesn't want any help ( he comes out as sorta a jerk, but he isn't just has to do everything without any help). For example, when we had to paint the house he just *HAD* to do the whole thing by himself, wouldn't hiring anyone.
I don't know what to do, I am thinking that maybe it's a bigger problem that she has, I've been doing my own research and reallly she sounds RAD, i don't know if anyone has any info on that. But, I am stuck cause I really don't know how to handle her.

This post has been edited by lillyann on May 14 2006, 06:02 AM

I just think you have to much responsibility to deal with.
I think Caleb really needs to step up to the plate and help you out with her.
Its nice that he has taken you all in and what not but he needs to help you out also with her.
Maybe she can go and talk to someone bc it maybe all stemming from the loss of your Father also.

Keep us posted and your a great Sister that cares most important dont stop caring

Well, first off I wanted to thank you for even typing back and taking your time to help:).
And maybe it is to muhc responsibilty, but I've always been kind of mature in that sense, and I don't know I know i can/should do it, so really i should if i can.
Caleb has to work to get money, I don't know why we have a enough, I think it's once you get a lot you need more and more, I really don't know.
I've asked him to help a few times, saying that once he raises his voice with her and talks to her, there is no talking back and she doesn't question what he says, but with me? It's way different.
And I don't know, I have taken her to see a perfessional, thing is she didn't want to it and i finally gave up because we were always late to get there because she threw tantrums about how she wasn't getting into the car.
I am so worried about her with boys, it's insane. I mean she's my sister but She had sex, and i don't know why she did, does she have that much low self esteem? That's all i can think of. And i don't know why because she is a beautifull young lady. Nothing makes sense anymore:(.

and I mean at times she is the cutest thing ever, like this morning, lol she *tried* to make me breakfast and got a little in over her head and ended up wasting TONS of batter, but it was cute. And then she made me a card for mothers day which really flattered me , said thank you for taking care of her even though she's a brat and I am the closest thing to a mother she has ever known and that she loves me more then anything.
so really after seeing that I do take it personally and that I am the one who needs to help her.

I have so many questions, so i'll start with one. And it's about bedtime, I really don't think she should need one, because when i was a teenager i stayed up till about 10-11, I think that is a fairly ok time to go to bed, but if someone doesn't get on her case about it she doesn't go to bed till about 3am. I go in her room at 9, and say lights off in a hour and she then swears and me and gets all tense and really throws a little fit like a 3 year old. And no, she doesn't listen. One time she DID listen but that was only because i gave her 5 swats on the behind, it did wonders she went right to bed, i think because she was so surprised. But, really I don't want to have to slap her butt everytime i ask her to do something ( nor do i), but most of all to go to bed, its getting insane. I know she is a teenager and wants to do whatever the hell she wants, but how do i stop her and tell her " no, lights out, time for bed?". I don't want to have authority over her, i want to be her sister, but she is making it so i have to have authroity over her, and really it sucks for the both of us.

This post has been edited by gr33n3y3z on May 15 2006, 02:27 AM

Get her into therapy, pronto.

Alrighty, guess i'll talk to caleb about it def. Thank you:).
Just scared because last time it didn't work out, but i didn't think he was that good anyways.
Caleb wanted her to go to a man, i think it would be better for her to go to a women, but serioulsy no one listens to me, lol. its just hard when caleb thinks its a "fase" which i know it isn't she is way to out of control.

This post has been edited by lillyann on May 14 2006, 12:51 PM

I think the therapy would be great for her, for you, for all.

But dealing with the day-to-day things is still difficult.... Are there other family members that can help out?


Take care.

Caleb needs to get involved and she also needs therapy one that deals with kids
Good luck

I think she might need some therapy to help her deal and cope. I also think she might need someone to come down hard on her. I mean HARD. Thats the only thing I would know to do.

Well, thank you.
We took her to get help, And i think they are talking caleb into staying home and taking care of her so i don't have to do it, because i am not going to make much of a difference.
anyhow thank you for your help:).