Court was HORRIBLE, we never stood a chance :cry:

[ready4looneybin]

I don't even know where to start.

We got served our court papers on Nov. 10th, last Thurs. We're supposed to get 5 days notice before court. We didn't get served the papers till after 5:00pm, so we couldn't even call around for help b/c offices were closed.

We're supposed to get 4 days notice, which is the deadline, to write an affidavit in response to the allegations, provide any evidence we have and file it with the court and give all parties copies. Well, that deadline was Fri. and in Canada, that was Remembrance Day, and not only was the courthouse CLOSED that day, but so were lawyer's offices. We were screwed before we even started.

I stayed up for four days straight writing out our answer to all the allegations and accusations against us. I have 18 pages of it. I also, so far, have a total of 27 pieces of evidence to prove my son's lies. We never got to show a thing, never had a voice, and never got ANY chance at all whatsoever to defend ourselves.

Starting from grade 1, every time he didn't get his own way, or u did ANYthing he didn't like, he would tell his school that we had done this to him and we had done that to him, and we would have CAS at our door. He has always admitted to them afterwards that he lied, and the case closed. Now he's trying his best to prove he's utterly afraid of us and that he recanted all past lies out of fear. B/c of him, we've had, according to CAS, 28 referrals over the past 10 yrs.

The judge skimmed over the papers, and when finding out the 28 referrals, said, "I just can't imagine HOW these ppl managed to keep him! Why wasn't he removed from the home?" and then when reading the allegations, said that we were, "horrible and despicable who don't deserve to have children at all!" !!!

My previous posting on this is here: Please, I need Help!!! for those who didn't read it.

CAS, even there was and is NO probable cause for our toddlers to be involved in ANY of this, are accusing us in the court papers of:

"1) The applicant children’s aid society asks the court to make a finding under Part III of the Child and Family Services Act that the child(ren) named in this application is/are in need of protection because:
a) there is a risk that the child(ren) [our 15 yr old], [our 5 yr old] and [our 4 yr old] is/are likely to suffer physical harm, inflicted by the person having charge of the child(ren) or caused by that person/s

i) failure to care for, provide for, supervise or protect the child(ren) [subclause 37(2)((i)]

"b) there is a risk that the child(ren) [our 15 yr old], [our 5 yr old] and [our 4 yr old] is/are likely to suffer emotional harm is demonstrated by serious anxiety, depression, withdrawal, self-destructive or aggressive behaviour, or delayed development resulting from the actions, failure to act or pattern of neglect on the part of the child(ren)’s parents or the person having charge of the child(ren) [subclause (2)(g)]."

We have NEVER physically abused ANY of our children in any way, shape or form!! There was never ANY failure to act, pattern of neglect, or anything!! We have always provided everything for them, we're over-protective parents, and more-so since we have a daughter, we don't ignore our children, we play with them all, spend a lot of quality time with them, there's always food in the house, they have plenty of clothing, a roof over their heads, they're always warm in the winter and cool in the summer, our house has always been baby-proofed.

WE'RE not the ones who constantly hurt the toddlers, it was HIM! We spent more time refereeing, protecting the toddlers, and trying to keep him away from them more than anything else! But yet there's a ''failure to protect''?? We've done nothing BUT protect them!

I'm so scared, lost and confused. My husband collapsed at work a couple times last night. We were court ordered not to even discuss the case around the toddlers, and that's tough to not do when we're constantly on the phone try to get lawyers, support, advise, talking to friends and family.

I finally got thru to the Parent Help Line last night. I talked to a man who, when told what's going on around here, asked me what I have done so far. I asked him, ''Other than crying?" He was quiet for a few seconds and said, "Yes". I told him that I had written up my 18 page answer in rebuttal to all allegations. I have 27 pieces of evidence that has already been collected and copied for all parties involved. I told him that I've joined parenting forums for support and advice [they have their own website and forum if you didn't know. Parent Help Line The forum is pretty new and still in stages of development, but you can post and ppl reply.], I have been attempting to get a lawyer, but so far have been unsuccessful. He then asked what our game plan was. I burst into tears and said I have no idea, I just don't know where to start, how to get help, and there just really isn't anything out there for the parents. He asked if I knew what I needed to do and I said our first thing is we HAVE to get a lawyer. There's just no ifs, ands or buts about that. He gave me some phone numbers that I could contact, and that's on my list for today.

I had my husband call his parents last night, asking for the entire family to ban together and help support us and our toddlers. They were totally outraged by what's going on and everyone's going to call someone so the whole family is aware and they're starting a fund for us to help us pay for a lawyer.

I guess that was really my first game plan. My second was when I brought the toddlers to school today, I talked to DS's JK teacher [who's already aware of some of what's going on] and explained about court and what had happened. When CAS had talked to her b4, she told them that she had NO concerns at all whatsoever about our DS, as did our DD's grade 1 teacher and her Language teacher. I talked to both teachers and requested if they would make a formal statement saying that they have no concerns about either child's well-being, physical development, mental development, and emotional development that they have personally witnessed. I talked to the secretary and requested a meeting with all 3 teachers so we could sit down with them at one time and explain to them exactly what is going on in our home, our concerns, the actions being taken against us, and ask for their support for the children. She's going to set up an appointment as soon as she can.

My third game plan is to basically harrass lawyers until someone calls me back. There's just no way we can fight this or argue this without any type of legal representation.

Although inside, I have no feelings other than anger and disappointment for my oldest, outwardly I am going to continue to fight for him and do what I can to get him help. He has not only taken this whole thing way too far, but he made a HUGE mistake in involving the younger ones. And that is something I can't, and won't, not only forgive, but forget. I just can not get over the fact that someone I gave birth to could be capable of the things that he has done.

My fourth game plan, if it can be actually considered one, is to put my house into Virgo State. I'm a Virgo and my house has never been messy or dirty, but with the toddlers having nasty colds that they just can't shake, and with DS being so ill and his fevers, I didn't give a flying crap about the housework. We just moved here about 3 mths ago and haven't even finished unpacking everything yet, and with them being ill, well, the whole place looks like it hasn't been cleaned at all for about a yr. You know CAS is going to go thru it with a fine toothed comb and use ANYTHING they can as an excuse. They already blasted me for the piles of laundry stacked in our room, but it's all clean, or it's piles of too-small clothes. Our room is the catch-all for misc. things upstairs that we didn't know what to do with. We don't have a linen closet b/c there's a built-in washer and dryer in it, so our sheets, towels, table cloths, pillows, pillow cases, blankets and comforters were stored in the bookcase. All the books are in boxes stacked against the wall b/c there's no place to put them. Our DD has a Captain's Bed with the cupboards underneath, so I do now have all the comforters and blankets stored in those plastic bags they come in inside her bed. The pillows and sheets are going in there as well. That gets the bookcase basically emptied and I can get rid of the 30 some odd boxes of books now.

I really wish I knew ppl here that would be willing to get together with me for a House Cleaning Party, lol. I'm so distraught that a lot of the time, although I get started on things, I start to think about what's going on and then I just sit down and cry.

Thanks for listening to me rant and whine. I'm off to alternately clean and force a lawyer to talk to me lol, and attempt to do so quietly as my hubby's sleeping.

[mckayleesmom]

Sorry sweetie...sounds like you have an ok plan of action....I would offer to take a polygraph test if it were me...Hopefully they would do one and prove that I wasn't lying. I would be ticked off too. If you need someone to talk to let me know...I haven't been through this..my children are young, but my mom had the same problems with my older and younger brothers...She could never find help anywhere. Both my brothers were in group homes for a while because they were out of my moms control.

[PrairieMom]

First things first...

~~~~~~Lawyer vibes~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sorry you are going through all this. Be strong and hang in there!

[amynicole21]

Wow, what a stressful situation! I can't even imagine. I hope that things start going your way soon. Hang in there!!

[b&bsmom]

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I don't even know what to say. Hang in there and just take it one step at a time. You are a wonderful mom and for this to happen to you is just unfair. I hope you get the advice you need. Feel free to rant anytime. Good luck. P&PT's coming your way.

[ready4looneybin]

Thanks everyone

We took off for the wkend right after picking up DD from school. We went to my PIL's to inform them of everything going on and omg but they were TICKED!!! They've rallied the family together to support us and the children and FIL is footing the bill for a lawyer for us. He gave us 500 to start and said there's plenty more if we need it and do NOT hesitate to ask. We didn't call them for help when everything was going on at first, and they were upset about that.

It was a great wkend away, the children had a blast and the rest of us were totally amused by their neighbours. Their neighbours apparently aren't all that bright, they were driving round their backyard, which is all water-logged due to all the snow melting, and got their truck totally stuck right up past the tires. Not so funny on its own, but when they got out their other truck to pull out the first truck and got IT stuck past the tires, well THAT was funny! And then they called someone to get them out and THAT person got stuck!! So they had to call someone ELSE to pull out that truck! That guy was smart enough to only pull out that one and he left. The other one only pulled out one truck and he left. So now the neighbours are back to the original truck still being stuck. TFF

It was nice having a "normal" wkend for a change