Are Men Being Wrongly Villified?

[conor64]

The Wall Street Journal recently ran a story about Wall Street Journal how men are being cast as child predators.

As it happens, I'm penning a magazine article on a related topic -- whether the in many ways wonderful focus on stopping child predators has had the unintended consequence of changing the relationships between non-predatory adults and kids.

Do the fathers on this board worry about being falsely accused when volunteering as a coach or scout master or chaperoning a sleepover party?

Has the societal climate changed the way that you interact with kids in public? For example, if you saw a lost 6 year old at the mall would you be hesitant to help her?

Are you offended by the policy of some airlines to refuse to seat unaccompanied children next to male passengers, or do you prefer that policy as a parent yourself?

I'd greatly appreciate seeing any thoughts on this topic, and especially specific anecdotes about situations you've experienced that shed light on this topic.

This post has been edited by conor64 on Sep 18 2007, 12:36 PM

[kc2dpt]

Wow. Tough questions.
I know that when I found out we were having our first child I was very excited and very focused on all children alot more than I used to be. I liked watching them run around and I liked seeing parents with their babies. But I was always self-conscious about it, like if people saw my interest they'd just assume I was a child predator. Once we had our baby I was comfortable then complimenting other parents on their cute babies and asking about them (age, feeding schedule, etc.) but only because I had my baby on me so it was obvious I was a dad and not a predator.

So, yeah, it kinda sucks that I think the default assumption is "predator".

Helping a kid at the mall... usually my wife is with me so that isn't an issue. If I was alone... I'd probably find a woman or a couple and enlist their help. Maybe I'd first ask them if it was their kid, then express my concern that the kid is lost and then I'd see what happened next. If I was a predator, I wouldn't want to draw anyone else's attention - so by deliberately drawing someone's attention maybe I'd feel like "OK, they see me, they see the kid, they are alerted to a potential problem, now it is safe for me to try to help the kid." I don't know though. It's (unfortunately) a sticky situation for a lone male to be in.

I will say this: When I was younger I worked my summers as a camp counselor. But eventually I felt the environment was getting too risky to work with kids. The kids started thinking it was funny to call an adult a molester or a pervert, thinking it was the same as calling them stinky or stupid-head. Already we were not allowed to touch the kids in any way or we'd risk a parent accusing us of abuse. I thought that was an unsafe situation to be in - too easy to get falsely accused and have irreparable damage to one's reputation - so I stopped working with kids. That's a shame. I have good memories of my campers - fishing, the music show we put on, finding constellations - and that's gone because of an over exuberance on the part of child-services.

The airline policy is a good one I think, not going to far. They should compliment it though with another policy that seats hot women next to those men.

[cmidgley]

I think men are often shown in a bad light for everything.