Ok, what should I do about this?, Candy given at school

I have been working with Megan's teacher about her allergies. I know I probably didn't address all scenerios, and maybe I should.

Yesterday Megan came home with a pinata that they made in class. It was full of candy, that she CAN NOT have. I picked her up from daycare and she kept screaming "can I have my candy, can I have my candy". I quickly realized the situation and had to explain to her that she couldn't have it because she's allergic to it. That I would give her some candy that I had stashed away that she COULD have. She was very upset, but quickly got over it with a few extra hugs and acknowledgment that I know this is hard on her.

What worried me, though, is what if she would have eaten that candy on the bus, or at the daycare provider's before Terri knew about it, kwim?

I full well know that her allergies aren't life threatening like many out there and so it may seem like I'm a bit dramatic with this, but I want her healthy and happy and that means no allergens, whether they are life threatening or not. Especially during the 30 day elimination.

What can I do to handle these types of situations?

Karen, imagine she were a diabetic, God forbid, and couldn't have the candy...I had a girl in my class in school who was diabetic and when we got candy or snacks, she'd be given an alternative snack. Think about what she is allergic to and what she CAN have as a substitute and bring a stash to school for them to keep so that if there is a pinata then she can still try to hit and release the candy but then the teacher could take her aside and ask her to trade her candy for this other candy she can have or something like that. As long as there is a substitute stash for her I think everyone can be happy...and healthy.

I do provide all her snacks for school now. So I know that is not an issue. The only time she eats snack at school that is not what I send is if they are having fruit that day. She can do that.

But they weren't even opening pinatas at school. They made them there (very small ones) and the teacher stuffed them with candy and put the pinata in their bag. So they were not opening them there. I guess I was just taken back that the teacher didn't even email me about it. She's been very good about emailing me often about Megan's sensory issues, diet issues, etc so I guess I would have thought she would have done it for this too.

I guess I'm also frustrated a bit because they take all the "common" allergies so seriously in the school, but because my child's allergies aren't "normal" then they don't.

I've emailed the teacher this morning because I'm concerned about the V-day party and would like to be there so I can give Megan her own goodie bag so she won't feel out of place. Also a lot of times kids give valentines that have candy attached and I want to be there to go through the valentines with her and take the candy off. Unfortunately there is not much candy at all that Megan can even have. I feel so bad for her

Maybe she got busy doing the pinata activity and getting everything together for the kids to take home that she forgot? I'm sure your email will remind her if she did.

Maybe she thought you would swap out the candy at home so that she wouldn't have to single her out by not letting her have it. Either way, she needs to deal with it differently.

it is difficult to think ahead and catch every scenerio that might occur..and maybe the teacher just didnt think in this situation, but you calling her on it might help it from happening again.
I think keeping a stash of stuff she can eat it a great idea, and maybe tell the teacher had she mentioned it you could have brought candy for her pinata.

I think as the kids get older and go thru school there is always going to be issues and situations that pop up that we cant control...you can only do your best.

we also make Jake wear his "allerygator shirt" i order them from a site that is for kids with allergies..it says stop with a big red stop sign held by an allegator and then on the back has his name that we wrote in black permanent marker and says he has food allergies, I know that the teachers forget but this way the shirt hopefully jogs their memories, and we added the name on the back and a stop sign in case the teachers are standing behind him and placing food in front of the kids..
He doesnt feel self conscious about it at all, he likes to wear it, we use it for all social occasions.
I also have an allergy bag that we take for him that carries his meds and his snacks and a cup just so he doesnt have to use anyone elses..

It takes practice and you are doing great for just starting..

you are already thinking ahead to valentines day..
we also found that sometimes the crafts they did might have some of the food allergens in it, so you might want to check on that also.

your doing great Karen.

I think it's a mistake on her part to have sent Megan home with the candy. If she (the teacher) is well aware of her allergens (and I know you went over it with her), then she should have warned you ahead of time AND given Megan a special something else to go in her pinata. You clearly did your part, but she didn't hold up her end of the deal IMO. Parent teacher relationship is crucial when it comes to kids with special needs. People can say "teachers make mistakes, they are only human", but when it comes to the health of your child, then there really is no room for error IMO. Especially if you have gone over her needs and the teacher AGREED to them from the start. Don't ever feel like you're being too dramatic Karen. It's our job to protect our children with FA. I am always trying to be sensitive to Wil's teachers, making it so that I'm not a burden to them or that it is acceptable to make mistakes, but clearly it's NOT acceptable when it comes to his food allergies. Wil's teacher gave him honey nut cheerios, like I said in my post in GD, and she apologized over and over again. Saying she had no idea they had nuts in them. I wanted to let her off the hook by blaming myself for allowing him to participate in shared snack with his peers, but come on, the teacher and I agreed to have him feel included, I clearly wrote a list of foods he can and can not eat, HN Cheerios were on the CAN NOT eat list...The info was there. So long story short, if you provided her the info, then she should have followed your instructions.

Ok I'll get off my soap box on that topic...but I just want you to know that you are not alone and there is no need to apologize for what you may see as being dramatic. Have a talk with the teacher, tell her it wasn't ok, and work on a better solution together.

What we do: Wil was allowed to go trick-or-treating for the first time this year. We made a deal before going out that he could not open any candy until he got home and mom and dad inspected it. It may come easier for Wil because he's known about his allergies since he was 2, so he finds it sortof "special" that he can't eat nuts/seeds and handed things over pretty easily. But I think it's definitely doable to train Megan this way. Like I've said before, offer her something else in exchange for her candy. Money, stickers, a trip to the $1 store. Make her a special bracelet or buy one. They have pretty cute Medicalert bracelets these days! Anything you can do that makes her feel less different than the other kids is helpful. Wil likes to show off his bracelet, therefore he finds having one actually cool!

We have dealt with pinatas at birthday parties and it isn't easy. But again, it's just making an exchange for what they bring home and making sure it feels even more special than the party bag. GL

In some respects I do understand that the teacher might have forgotten, etc and I'm fine with that. I guess it's just because I went over extensively what she couldn't have. I told her she could have NO, absolutely NO candy at school because there is only 1 or 2 items I've even found that she can actually have. The teacher and I thought it was best for me just to send her snacks instead of them having to remember what she can and cannot have. So I took away all the guessing, checking, etc from them and made it my responsibility. The only time she can have the same snack as the kids is if it's fruit. I send a bag weekly with several different snacks for Megan to choose from too, so she doesn't feel like she's having the same thing daily and makes it easier on the teachers as far as if she was to throw a tantrum about it. She's done exceptionally well accepting she can't snack on what the other kids do and I think a lot of that is because we found snacks she'll accept that are a lot of times better than what they are offering.

But not only the snacks, we went over soaps, all kinds of things like that as far as if it has yellow dye in it. When we discovered the soaps they use do, I agreed to go out and buy soap for the class to use so the teachers didn't have to remember to make sure she used a different soap than the other kids. I bought fun soap by Kiss My Face at $5 a bottle!!! I know excessive, but Megan was excited to be able to use that soap. I know I'm not since they go through it so quickly and I'm supplying it.

I mean, we specifically went through everything and I've done everything to make sure the burden is more on me than them. Anyways, I'm not angry, just trying to figure out how to take ALL the burden off them, I guess.

When I emailed the teacher yesterday I chose not to really nag on her about what she had already done, but told her I was thinking ahead to V-Day and wondering what the plans are for the class party and that I wanted to make sure if they were having candy that I would like to send some for Megan so we didn't have the problem we had the other day with the pinata. I told the teacher I would send a bag of candy so they can use it for other instances besides just V-day. Again, trying to help take the burden off of them as much as possible. When she replied, I don't know I was a little annoyed. Her response was basically "we are giving out smarties when we play games and IF she can't have them then yes, you need to send something else. Also giving out ice cream with sprinkles and chocolate syrup so if she can't have that you might want to send something with her that day." ........UM HELLO what do you mean IF????? They KNOW she can't have that stuff!!!!!!!!! I guess that is what annoyed me yesterday most of all.

So hopefully me sending a bag of candy that she can have that they can keep around and use for different things will help, I hope. I also, and meant to do this last week, will write a quick note to the bus drivers so they know Megan can't have candy and other foods. I know the bus drivers are extremely busy and can't watch 24/7 to make sure my child doesn't take a piece of candy from someone, but I still feel better that they know and sometimes they give treats out to the kids and they will know not to give it to Megan. I sort of laid a bit of burden on Kylie as well by telling her to watch out for Megan on the bus and make sure she doesn't have anything to eat on there. It happens more on the bus than you think and Kylie is my only eyes while she's on there.

I KNOW her allergies aren't life threatening like some of you have to deal with and I'm VERY thankful for that. I do want my daughter happy and healthy, though, and if that means not having them, then that is what will be.

BTW Rae...I can't believe the teacher didn't think there were nuts in Honey N U T cheerios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, come on! You did the right thing taking him out of there. Our school is very big about being completely allergy free on nuts and such, but when it comes to more rare, abnormal allergies the parent is on their own.

Um wow. That's pretty dense. That would make me worry MORE.