Why is it?

that no one acknowledges Jordan on these dates. my family never calls me. Or sees how i am. Or even visits him ever! Why is it it affects me more and hurts more. Jordans birthday no one called, and today is the anniversary of his death:( No one...

so sorry hun

I have a friend that lost her baby and I always think of her on those dates, and In the beginning I sent her cards, but I stopped recently, because I was worried that It would hurt her more. Maybe that is what everyone is thinking?

They probably don't want to dig up the hurt and they may think it hurts you more to open up the can of worms again. I know if I had a friend who lost a baby, I probably would feel uncomfortable bringing it up every year and I would think my friend would want to start healing and I would think by bringing it up all the time that she couldn't have the closure she would need. Know what I mean? Don't know if that made sense, but try not to take it personally. I am sure they just don't understand, and for them it's a different feeling.

actually my family knows that on these dates hearing from them and them acknowledging him helps me through it. Because to me i feel they dont forget about him when they talk about him. I know it sounds selfish:( But they stopped just months after his death. and each year I sit here alone on these dates grieving and wondering why noone calls me. Yes it could be because they are afraid im already really sad and dont want to make it worse but again they know talking about him helps me. Because it keeps his memory alive for me! Talking about him doesnt mean i dont have closure, I do. I guess it just opens it more when im left to deal with the dates. Its hard to explain it...

This may sound bad but maybe they cant deal with it. Everyone loved Spencer so much and it was so hard on everyone. Maybe they cant deal with going over those feelings again. Why dont you call them and start talking about Spencer and see what happens. I am truly sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry that it seems they have forgotten, Shelly. I have a friend who lost twins and it's her biggest fear that people will forget them. So, I understand where you are coming from. :hu:

no i know thats not it at all. Yes they were hurt by the loss of him and they were affected because they were there in his last 2 days of life , they slept at the hospital and everything to be with us. But its hard to explain why i feel this way and know thats not it. And they dont call could be because...my mom has admitted a couple times that she complete forgets that his birthday was the 27tha nd his death date on the 14th... 1 year after i lost him i called my moma nd said im heading to teh grave to plant flowers with so and so because its jordans 1st birthday , she says to me oh thats today oops. So yes maby thats why they dont call.. but still it hurts they dont call if its because they forgot too.