I guess I am not a Mommy, after 11 years??

First I want to say that I have been away, doing Tays b-day, AF came and just am stressed!

Taylor's 5th grade teach came to the car today, he is a nice man so I thought. He said we have a issue in the lunchroom. I was ok and the problem is? He said Taylor is eating JUNK and he wants him to eat regular lunch. OMG first of all Taylor is on medication, lunch time is not a hunger time for him. His meds are self releasing by 11:30. (which mean no appettite) This is NOT something new? I have told Tay for 4 years, get something in your tummy at lunch. He eats a big breakfast, very healthy and a big dinner. If he eats nothing at lunch he gets a migrane from the meds for the rest of the day. For the past four years I have said eat what you can, maybe some chips, or ice cream for lunch. Sounds bad but he needs something in him. Taylor is a STRICT veggie, no meat ever since he was 6 months. He will eat a bagel when they have them. So the teacher says, cutt him up some veggies and fruit! ROFL This is a 11 yr old boy, do you think he will get out Mommy's frut and veggies? How dare this man tell me what to do! Now it gets better...The "reading" teacher told Taylor that I am a unfit parent because I do not make him eat meat, she said I need to take a class on how to parent my child. Taylor just told me this tonight, tomm someone is not going to be happy! Taylor has had the same principal since 1st grade and now they have a new one this yr. I am not going to allow anyone to force food/meat on my child or change the rules as they see fit! Ugh wont this be fun!

Grrrrrrrrrrr I really hope you give them a great big whoppin piece of you mind. How dare they????

OMG, that is awful. Hope they get a earful in the morning.

Oh I really do hate when other people tell me how to raise my kid. Both of those people deserve a couple of these I understand that these people are trying to do what's best for lots of children, but someone saying that you're not raising Tay right because he doesn't eat meat is just wrong. Teachers are not supposed to make judgements like that. I hope you give them what for.

OMG I can't believe the teacher said that! You know your child better than anyone and if he really isn't hungry at lunch time than they really shouldn't force him or make him eat something he doesn't want! But to make them happy could you send some nutrigrain bars or a bagel of your own to school? I know have a 12 year old nephew who was on medication for ADHD and my sister had the same situation. He just was not hungry at lunch. So she just sent anything that he would eat (we are in Canada, so at his school the parents had to send lunches) I would be livid if someone told me that! Good Luck!

OMG!!! How infuriating!! I would be livid if someone told me that! I hope they get what they deserve!!

That is absolutley not right for them to say that!! How could they, and to say it when/where your child can hear it!!! They ought to be

You go for it honey, and give them WHAT FOR!!!

OMG I can not believe a teacher would say that. That is terrible.

I would be OUTRAGED!!!!! How dare they tell you that?!?!?!!!! Some heads would roll at that school, I can tell you that I hope they know what's coming to them!!!

OMG!!!! I would be furious!!! That is terrible.....first of all...my nephew is a strict veggie too, he is 11. He hasn't eaten meat since he was about 9 months old. There is no way that my sister could force him, let alone his teachers. My neice is on meds for ADHD and she will sometimes skip a meal and my brother and SIL just go with the flow, they let her eat when she is hungry.

I hope that you give those teachers a piece of your mind!!!

Tay didnt go to school today, he woke with a horrible headache. He only had two hours of school today anyways. I asked him yesterday what this teachers "status" was. He was like huh? I said what does she do/teach? He said she is a library teacher who teaches reading to children who are having problems. Hmm Maybe she has a mastor's in Nutrition? As far as sending stuff to school for him to eat (he loves all those nutragrain bars) but if he isnt hungry he will just throw it away, he was throwing away alot of money. He has told me he will eat half of a bagel and a piece of fruit. Tomm I will be talking to the teacher. If I knew the principal I would just call in, but I am not sure how to handle this one yet. I hate it when someone in the school tries to play Neurologists and "fix" my child.

Being a vegetarian is hardly an anomalie(SP?) these days. Obviously this guy is just ignorant, not to mention tactless. Politely, but firmly inform him that you are aware of how to provide healthy alternatives to meat, and you may want to clue him in to many many health hazards associated with meat consumption (e coli, salmonella,anyone?)

Exactly my point! But to say this directly to my child. Thats a coward trying to act like "someone" big. Your parents need parenting classes? Do these people think I am a moron? Tay see's a neurologist every 3 months, plus his regular doc whenever he is sick. His weight is montored because of the meds. New teacher new principal, so they are trying to "save" my child I guess?

That's just RIDICULOUS.

I'd LOVE to see a teacher tell my kids that I am an unfit parent because I don't make Zach eat the healthiest food around... he doesn't eat meat every day. I alwyas ALWAYS have different foods in his plate, because if that day he doesn't want pasta, he gets veggies. Or the other way around.

I don't force him to eat anything... but I do force him to taste it. If he spits it out, he gets something else. Hes not usually fussy...but sometimes, he's just not in the mood for something! So he gets something else, and whatever he didn't eat gets put in the fridge for the next meal. I was raised like that too... a maid dish, and several small side dishes....if I didn't want grean beans, I could take carrots instead.



DH doesn't like peas...and I don't make him eat them.... but if I'm feeding them to Zach, he better be ready to take a bite so Zach can see him eating them too...we're not going to be hypocrites about what we eat!!!

omg, that is horrible!!!!! How can they say anything bad about a kids' parent?!?!? If you do not get answers at the school, I do hope you go straight tp the school board and make an official complaint. That is totally not called for!!! I do hope everything works out for you.

That is out of line completely...like someone else said...I would take it directly to the board. Also,,just out of curiosity, is Tay a vegetarian by choice? Or is this practiced in the family? I use to refuse to eat meat around his age and my dad would always try to force me to. lol....Now I eat meat....I just didn't care for it when I was younger.

I would tell her that she needed to mind her own business cause nobodys paying her for her child raising opinion. Then I would tell her where she could stick her duey decimal (sp?) system.

This post has been edited by mckayleesmom on Sep 30 2003, 09:06 PM

Warning- my 2cents as a teacher

These topics always make me wish I hadn't read them. Usually I just shut my mouth and move on. But I'm kind of sick of seing teachers getting blasted- not necessarily by the poster, but in the responses. Seems kind of common here of late. Remember that teachers have feelings too, and there are at least two of us that come to this board regularly.

By no means am I defending what the reading teacher did. If she feels that there are issues that you need to work out, she should discuss that with you, never with your son. It is never ok to challenge a parents decisions in front of the child. Just as some people are not good in any profession, the same happens in teaching. She's completely wrong, and you should go speak to her about it. There are quite a few parents that I have now that could benefit from parenting classes, but that is not the way to go about it. Heck, I'd like to go to a parenting class right now.

As for what he's eating at school, it is actually my responsibility to make sure that the kids are eating nutricious food when they are in my care. There is actually a latin term for it, which I now forget. It means "Guardian in the absence of the parent." I know, it does sound stupid, but how would you feel if I fed your Kindergartener candy all day? It seems like this teacher doesn't know your son's history well enough yet and was trying to find out. By asking you to send in food, he seemed to be trying to make a compromise between your son's style and the lunch program. But if Tay can make do with what's there, than that's even easier.

I have students who tell their parents "There was not enough food in the cafeteria and I didn't get to eat." Then the parent calls me screaming. Well, the real story is that they didn't like what was in the cafeteria that day, so they went and threw it away. All I mean by this is you should go and talk to the teacher again. Maybe you caught him at the end of a bad day. Or maybe he's taking a lot of flack from other students because they have to eat good stuff and they think Tay doesn't. If lunch is followed by a recess, this can especially be a problem when kids want to dump and run, so they could play. Just some things to think about.

But If you don't get a good enough response from either teacher, you should go to the principal. That's one of their jobs. But I think that confronting that woman will make her stop. People who talk about others that way don't like to be confronted.

That's just my Take it or leave it.

lol!

I've never been to a school where they provide the food - I've always had to bring something from home. Do they have those in Canada?

NMy opinion is that since the school provides the lunches, they should at least provide some sort of menu so that the parents and kids know what foods get served on what days. At least then, the parents can substitute something else in their lunch.... but the kids do need to understand also that what you get is what you get. If they're not hungry at lunch time, they shouldn't be forced to eat either - it's just as un-healthy to eat when yu're not hungry as it is to not eat when you are. Why do you think so many people are overweight?

Seriously though - I mean...he doesn't eat meat. It's not contagious or anything - and with there being so many vegetarians and vegans etc... nowadays - that should also be taken into consideration. You can totally be healthy without eating meat. There should be stuff like veggie dogs or veggie burgers, or tofu...etc...whatever it is you veggie eaters eat... (lol) and then the veggie kids can eat that instead. I don't eat when I'm not hungry.... and I've always been taught that. Many times in school I'd get in trouble for eating in class in the afternoon.... but one day, my mom called the principal and gave him heck.

Who was HE to tell ME when to eat? lol So they were more lenient...they allowed food in classes from then on, because after my mom called the principal, she also sent out letters to some parents that she knew...and they all got back to the principal, kinda like a petition. The catch is - whatever it was that we ate in class had to be discreet, unlike an icecream cone or popcorn (the smell), and not too noisy, unlike a bag of chips. There was no problem with chocolate bars, chips in plastic baggies, granola bars, a bagel, a sandwich...etc

Students were also shown to be a lot more productive in the afternoon if they were allowed to eat a snack in class.

Maybe you could bring that up with your principal? I mean - sure, he's somewhat in charge of your child when your child is at school....but it's also his responsibility as a "guardian" to make sure everything is done in the best interest of the child.



Just my 2 cents!

I agree w/ Maestra. See my reply to the other post.

In this lawsuit laden country, parents are really big on finding fault with the teachers instead of seeing to it that the best interest of their child is protected. Teachers need us to volunteer at the schools and be there to support them. And not enough of that is done. If I could be at my son's school (I have an 11 yr old birthdaughter, a 3.5 yo son, and a 1 yo son) to help and kind of oversee him then I'd take a crack at it for sure. Because I would be in constant communication with the teacher and the school and could address anything that was important.

If I saw someone's child consume nothing but sugar all day, then I would wonder. We have a huge problem with malnutrition and obesity in this country because of poor food choices and overeating. I am a pudge myself, but I eat well rounded meals and if I had too much of something then I compensate the rest of the day. The teachers see this and say 'the parents of this child could sue me or the school system if he or she develops health problems.'

If it upsets you, then arm yourself with info, have a conference with these people, and educate them. Just being angry and taking swats at them solves absolutely nothing. You just want to find flaws with them. If you are constantly in attack mode then you have a hostile environment and it will solve nothing for your child or you or the relationship as a whole.

I went to private school for 8 yrs (gr 1-gr 8) and daily lunches were not served. Only milk (if you paid for it). No machines to go to for snacks. When I was in public high school they had daily lunches. All public school systems do b/c it is subsidized by the government. And they do serve meat and non meat items to eat. I saw kids only take the garbage and not what was best for their health all of the time. But healthy food was available. And they did (and still do) have veggies everyday.

Julie

i agree that a teacher is an important job. the kids spend a good part of their life with teachers and should respect them. but like other posters, i have run into more bad teachers than good ones. Jacob's JK teacher was old, tired and yelled at the kids all afternoon long. one day i went to pick him up and she was screaming about some mess on the floor and when she saw me, she started screaming at me that i needed to buy those rubbermaid containers to hold juice because my son just spills the juice boxes everywhere. Jacob NEVER drank juice! it was always water or milk and it was in a container! thankfully, she got sick and was replaced with a great teacher, but he only had her for the last couple of months and she was let go at the end of the school year.

his SK teacher was just as horrible as the first one. she took one look at me (i look younger than i am) and made her judgement that i was some teenage single welfare mom who drinks beer and ignores my kids. i was furious. she always talked down her nose at me but i did everything i could to maintain my composure. she was the first teacher who said that Jacob was way below his class and made him stay in at recess to do work with a special teacher. Without discussing it with me! he felt socially alienated and he eventually cried to me about it and i transferred him to another school because there was no working with this teacher.

his grade one teacher would write angry notes on Jacob's work, like "NO, I TOLD YOU TO REVIEW YOUR NUMBERS" obviously aimed at me, yet she never was available to meet with me about his progress. we were working with him everyday! they offered me no help at that school and we were moving anyways, so i transferred him again to another school after christmas.

his second grade one teacher was very nice and always had time to talk to me about Jacob's progress. Basically, it was her opinion that while he is not at the top of his class, he is still doing okay and that it should be taken into consideration that Jacob is younger than most of the kids in his class. most of them where born in the summer or before and that even 6 months can make a difference developmentally. I was happy i found a nice teacher who encouraged him and openly communicated with me.

UNTIL, she had the new power-tripping principal drag me into her office because Jacob began crying inconsolably and wouldn't stop. They gave me the third degree about my living situation and Jacob's "lack of food". I just about fell off of my chair. First, my living situation is NONE of their business and Jacob eats more than any kid i know. the teacher told me that i was not sending appropriate lunches. he got one or two sandwiches, an apple, water and some kind of treat. he hates chocolate, so it was usually a fruit roll up or arrowroot cookies. this is inappropriate? then she said he didn't have a beverage today. i then asked her if she looked in his bag... she said no. OMG! how dare you accuse me of not feeding my child when he has a healthy lunch in his bag and u didn't even bother to look! Jacob prefers a hot lunch and would likely say he didn't have something yummy to eat because he can't have pizza. if you ask any 5/6 yr old what they want to eat, it will not be a sandwich and apple!she then started telling me about groups that could help me and my family in need. i am a mother, not an idiot. if i needed help, i would gladly ask for it, but they had their minds made up that there was no food in my house and nothing i could say would change their minds. I bit my tongue and walked away. I later found out that Jacob was crying because the teacher made him do extra work at recess and i guess he had flashbacks of the alienation at his old school.

his present grade 2 teacher is nice, but the principal still treats me like garbage. i have all the love and praise for good teachers like you guys but have had too many bad experiences not to be able to relate to what Taylor's mom is feeling. it is absolutely irresponsible for people of such an influential position to abuse their power by degrading a child's parent to the child. That teacher DOES deserve all of the rage that the posters on this board are venting.

ok, sorry for rambling for so long lol ::stepping off soap box::