When to say when?, Spinoff.

That was said in another post but I saw A LOT of people agreed. I agree too. I acually came in here to ask about this.

I'm in 22, he's 24. Dakotas (daughter) 18 months old now... He's like 'madly' in love with me and I'm more ' I could take him or leave him' It's been really irritating me lately when people call him my husband because he's not.

I don't know if I'm just getting the 'tied down jitters' or if it's from him being laid off for so long or if its just.. done. My friend keeps telling me it's a phase and we just need to work past it but I don't know if I really want to... There's also the complication of a guy friend I like.. Doesn't help... that could just be messing me up.

We usually get along but I really dont feel like I have a 'mate' a lot of the time. I know I'm being kind of mean to him, pushing him away, but then hes trying extra hard and it's even worse. Everyone says 'do whats best for dakota' but I dont know how you tell! Unhappy parents make for an unhappy baby...

Anyone? lol. I'm lost.

How long have you been together? That's a tough one, being that you are both on the younger side and not married but parents together. I think it's the kind of thing only you can answer, my best advice is to go with your gut. Some people might not agree with me but I actually think if you're going to split up it's better now while she's young and not old enough to remember it or feel the trauma of a kid who knows their parents are unhappy.

Good luck with whatever you do

3 years 7 months. all our accounts are joint, we have a house together.

honestly I have BTDT but a relationship literally goes through so many ups and downs you have to fight for it to work even when you don't want to. Since your not married to him I can't say that you SHOULD fight for it because that is up to you, for your daughters sake isn't even a good excuse but if you ever truly loved him then you would fight for it. It could definitely just be jitters though.. Relationships are hard and if you do break up with him and get into another relationship you are going to go through this same feeling/phase all over again with the new guy, its just part of it!!!

Oh gosh I could not agree more with what Jessica said. I've been there. I was just there, actually. But, we've been married for 10 years (together 12).

Get rid of complications (guy friend). Do some soul searching and find out what you want.

I agree
Staying together for the sake of the child is not always what is best for the child.

That was said in another post but I saw A LOT of people agreed. I agree too. I acually came in here to ask about this.

I'm in 22, he's 24. Dakotas (daughter) 18 months old now... He's like 'madly' in love with me and I'm more ' I could take him or leave him' It's been really irritating me lately when people call him my husband because he's not.

I don't know if I'm just getting the 'tied down jitters' or if it's from him being laid off for so long or if its just.. done. My friend keeps telling me it's a phase and we just need to work past it but I don't know if I really want to... There's also the complication of a guy friend I like.. Doesn't help... that could just be messing me up.

We usually get along but I really dont feel like I have a 'mate' a lot of the time. I know I'm being kind of mean to him, pushing him away, but then hes trying extra hard and it's even worse. Everyone says 'do whats best for dakota' but I dont know how you tell! Unhappy parents make for an unhappy baby...

Anyone? lol. I'm lost.

I know exactly how you feel. It sometimes seems like I don't have a husband, just a roommate. That quote is from me, and it's so true. We ARE more like friends than like a married couple. I don't want to leave, and neither does he; we just need to work on finding the time to be a couple again.

I'm probably not the best one to be giving advice in this thread... but maybe a break from each other, such as a separate girls weekend / guy's weekend would give you some time to mull it over without having any distractions such as him or Dakota?

Personally, it sounds to me like you have gotten to the place in your relationship where "the butterflies in the stomach feeling" has gone away. This is completely normal. It's hard after you have a baby because both of you put so much focus on the baby that your relationship usually gets put on the back burner.

I have been with my husband since I was 19 yrs old. (I am now 29) We have gone through this many times and wanted to throw our hands up at the relationship because the excitement has gone away, but we continue to fight for it. Deep down, I love my husband, even though there are many times that the passion seems to die. A relationship requires more than just love, it requires work and time. Both sides needs to invest into the relationship or it fizzles.

My parents divorced when I was 7 yrs old and I NEVER want to put my kids through that. The only way I will leave my marriage is if he cheats on me or abuses me. I feel everything else can be worked out. (for me)

I think you may be developing feelings for your "guy friend" and I think this could be causing a problem in your relationship. You are looking for that passion and instead of rekindling it with your SO, you are finding it elsewhere and it is making it look like the "grass is greener on the other side". But even if you leave your SO to pursue another relationship, you will eventually face the "loss of butterflies" again.

I think you just need to really sit down and think about what you want in life for you and your child. You need to look at the pros and cons on staying and going.

(((((Big Hugs))))) We are hear for you, if you need us.

That's us too, more like roommates than anything. I don't know about the friends part, though, sometimes it's hard to tell. We've been together for 17 years now.

I do love him, there's no doubt about that, but I don't think I'm in love anymore. As much as he ticks me and irritates me, I don't think I'd trade him for anything.

Good advice.

I agree hon, get rid of the guy friend. Because in a few years time, you'll find something about him too that you don't like. Relationships take plenty of work. My DH and I have had our ups and downs, I've never thought about throwing in the towel but I have had that empty feeling before as if we were doomed, but we fought our way back to the way we were. DH and I are very happy at this point in our lives, we've worked out a lot of the kinks and talked things over, and I'm more in love with him than I have ever been. I also think that if you genuinely feel that it's over don't prolong it, it'll only make things worse. Good luck to you hon