I want to give my 4 mo.old up for adoption :(

I am in a really bad way. i had my son in december. I tried to be happy about his arrival, which I was. However since he was my second child & was unplanned, my first thoughts when I found out I was pregnant waws to get an abortion. I couldn't go thru with it. SO then I thought about adoption. I am having problems with Post partum psychosis. I have thoughts of hurting myself & the baby. It scares me. I really do not want this baby. I have depression & other emotional problems which make things that much worse. I am a mess & am starting to take it out on the kids. My husband has absolutely no compassion & does not think it's a big deal and I should just snap out of it. Which leaves me feeling like he won't really believe me until I do something crazy. I don't want to get to that point.

I am on meds, but they are not helping as much as they should. I think I want to give my son up. I just can't handle it. I never wanted kids because of exactly howI feel now. I thought I was over it and ready. But not for two kids. I really don't have any problems with my 19 month old. It's just the new guy. I expected my mother to help out like she had always said she would. But she is really no help. I am also not getting any help from my husband. I am feeling over whelmed.And I can't afford child care.

Sorry I just had to vent & see if some of you might have some advice.

Thanks

My first suggestion would be to call you doctor asap and tell him everything you just said here.

ditto call your dr right away. I suffered from mild anxiety and depression (I realized in retrospect) for years but it got really bad after I had my second DD. Now, I'm working with my doctor and trying to figure out a treatment that works for me. Perhaps putting the baby up for adoption is for the best but you really can't make that kind of decision until you are right in the head with yourself. KWIM? I don't think anyone should judge you. You obviously need help (we all do in one way or another) and there's no harm in asking for it. It takes a special kind of person to seek help and realize that something is wrong. Once you get your hormones and thoughts in control, then perhaps you will decide that yes, adoption is best. I'd hate to imagine doing that in a depressive episode and then finding relief years later to only regret the decision and regret not seeking help sooner.

Now that I'm on a pill that seems to be working for me, I'm a much happier version of myself. My kids like me, my DH loves me and all is good. Sure, we have rough days and I ask for help a lot but the bad days are a lot less intense now. I can control myself.

Good luck.

I completely agree with Cary. There's no shame in asking for help. I completely agree about calling your doctor. I would suggest having your doctor or a counselor talk to your DH so that he fully understands what you are going through and that this isn't something you can just snap out of. I will be thinking about you and wish you the best. Be sure to update us.

Everyone gave you my advice. Good Luck and keep us updated. My thoughts and prayers go with you.

Call a doctor. Immediately. Your husband is an a$$ for not helping you. You need to get a better support system and get help for yourself, and for your children.

Do we have an update here??

prolly not this is 6 months old lol

Thats kind of why I was wondering.

I think you need to get yourself to a Hospital ASAP and talk to someone. Maybe have yourself admitted for a few days to talk to a Psychiatrist and get different meds or adjust the meds your on. If you are not able to get to the Hospital, get someone to come over to your house and help you cope with all of this. Call your doctor and tell him what is going on. Please don't be ashamed to ask for help. You don't have to suffer, please reach out to someone, like you did here. It takes a very brave person to say what you've just said. My heart goes out to you, please continue to post, we're all here to help you!