Question for others who have children but have, also m/c

[My2Beauties]

OK after your m/c did you find yourself having horrible thoughts and dreams about your other children dying? I have always been bad about dealing with death, really bad. When I even think about it, I get pretty upset. Even before my m/c I sometimes would find myself thinking what if something happened to someone I loved, but the past few days, I started thinking about my m/c and then I started having these terrible thoughts. I walked in the house yesterday from getting off of work and I saw Hanna's bed, untouched and all her toys were cleaned up and put away (she has been at my dad's house in Alabama since Tuesday) so her room is spotless and I thought to myself OMG what if I was one of the mothers whose child died and had to come home to that emptiness indefinitely and see my child's things, I just started bawling. The night before that I started thinking about Brian being at work and those horror stories about the men who have died working on the railroad, being coupled inbetween two trains or being run over on the track by one (this has happened a couple of times in the past 10 years), and I just start crying. I can't control these thoughts. I have just been thiking about death so much. Then I think about Dad bringing Hanna back home next Tuesday and I think these thoughts about car accidents and stuff. They make me feel awful and I don't know how to get past this. It stays in my thoughts. I didn't know if this was something others did after having their m/c, I started my BC pills again too so my hormones are probably whacked out now anyways. Anyone else have this experience after m/c? Or does anyone else do this from time to time, I wonder if I have anxiety? Other than that I am a very happy person right now, aside from some of the unforunate things that have happened to me, I feel like my life is in a good place right now, I'm happy, we're getting ready to buy a home, Hanna is doing wonderfully, my marriage is great, I'm on Cloud 9, I just wish these thoughts would go awyay!

[EvesMom]

I had 2 m/c before I had Evelynn. The whole pregnancy I had horrible thoughts of something going wrong. I still from time to time has thoughts of something bad happening to her. It scares the heck out of me, so I hug and kiss her like heck! But I do have an anxiety problem and worry about everything.

[jcc64]

I've had those sorts of feelings for the better part of my life, LeaAnn. I think everyone struggles with the notion of their own mortality, as well as the well being of their loved ones. However, if it becomes a chronic and habitual thought process, I might attribute it to anxiety. The reason I say this is the following:
As I've alluded to here before, I have been diagnosed with a mild anxiety disorder that I sometimes have to treat with meds to control. The first time I took the meds, after about a month, all of those nagging obsessions with death and illness just went away, and for the first time, I was able to connect my anxiety disorder with that dysfunctional way of thinking. It was very liberating. I realized how much time I wasted being upset about something that most likely would never happen, and even if it did, worrying about it wouldn't stop it anyway. When I have my disorder under control, I don't wallow in these horrible thoughts. At this particular point in time, I have stopped taking the meds, which I occasionally do, and sure enough, the minute anything hormonal kicks up in my body (ovulating, pms), the negative thoughts come right back. I have a feeling that may be going on for you too, who knows? Like I said, I would pay close attention to where in your cycle it seems to happen. I wouldn't necessarily connect it to the m/c- i think it's just a manifestation of some unresolved anxiety you may be feeling. Good luck, I'm always here to talk if you want.

[My2Beauties]

Thank you Jeanne. Like I've said I struggled with this before the m/c but it seems to have happened more so now than before, so I didn't know if my hormones were out of whack or what because of this, causing me to think about it more. I think I am really going to keep an eye on this, because honestly this has been something that is going on for a while, I'll do it for a while then it'll just go away. Thanks for your advice - as always!

[kayla's mama]

I had a m/c 3 months before I found out I was pg with Kayla. During my whole pregnancy I dreamt of something horrific happing to my baby, either dying inside or some seriously wrong with her. I know that having weird dreams while pg are normal but I always had dreams of death one way or another.
I have always thought about the "what ifs" but they have gotten worse since I've had Kayla. I'm actually scared to drive my car with her, if I go anywhere I take Jason's truck because I feel safer "if" we ever got in a bad accident, kwim.