never needed help more then now!, caleb and school AGAIN

Stacy, the other post you might be referring to could have been one I made about a boy who was in the twins' Kindy class....the teacher taped off a corner of the room and he was made to stay in it with no involvement with the class. She talked about him right in front of him as if he was deaf, dumb and blind and didn't KNOW what she was saying. I did end up writing a letter to the superintendant. Several people came to observe and he was finally moved to special ed.

At any rate, it's a delicate balance between an issue like ADHD and "normal" behavior issues that stem from personality, level of maturity, etc. I strongly agree with Jeanne that sometimes we have to accept it's just something we as parents can't control/change/discipline out of a kid/etc. I have a nephew who was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade and heavily medicated. He adjusted well to the meds and improved greatly. When his parents felt the time was right, they took him off the meds against drs advice and he has flourished. Your gut instinct as a parent carries a lot of weight but don't rule out anything (like meds) until you've gotten more information from a dr you trust. I think the saddest thing about ADHD is all the confusion and pros and cons and what is heartbreaking to me is not that a child may have it, but that they may be helped by the meds and aren't afforded the opportunity. I'm not pro or con and haven't dealt with this myself but to me it's much like someone who is depressed living that way when there is a good possibility they could be helped and can't get over the stereotypes of being on medication. I only say this to encourage you to be open to whatever solution is best for Caleb....I know without doubt that is what you want for him, but because of that try not to rule anything out

I think you are taking the right approach in seeking additional information and an evaluation from an outside source. It wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion from two professionals if you feel it necessary. But, just have an open mind and try not to reject all options before you hear them. Medication is not the answer for all, but it is necessary for some. It may or not be recommended in his case, but you may want to weight the benefits before you completely reject it.

Ashley's girl scout leader's son has ADHD. When she first told me, I couldn't believe it because he was as normal as any other kid. He is sooo sweet, well-adjusted, extremely well behaved, very social and friendly, and is in the enrichment program for gifted kids at his school. But, she told me that it was not always this way. He had many of the same problems as Caleb (that doesn't mean that I am saying Caleb has ADHD just that some things are similar based on your description). Her son had problems focusing in school, was getting in trouble for behavioural problems, was having a hard time socially in school... thought no one wanted to be his friend and was teased by other kids because of some of his behaviours as he had no impulse control. But, the medication changed his life and allows him to be himself, not some medicated zombie. It took them awhile to find the right medication and the right dose, but in the end it was all worth it. I am sure she would be willing to talk to you if it comes to this diagnosis and I can forward that information. She described what she went through emotionally and it sounds like a lot of what you are feeling.

But, again, I don't want to jump ahead.. medication may or may not be the right path for Caleb. You are a great Mom and you doing the right thing in seeking a professional evaluation. I am sure when the time comes and you have all the information, you will make the best decision for your son. For now, try not to stress over medication or no medication as you don't even know if that is a viable option at this time.

((((HUGS))))

absolutely you are all right. I am not all wrapped up in the stigma of being medicated. I think as a nurse who sees anti psychotropics used, it is rather scarey to think of my son, at the age of 8 being on something similiar to those meds.
But if it meant the difference between just getting by and a great succesful healthy happy life, then there is no choice to make.
I am not sure what type of education the peopel conducting the eval at school even have.

Monica, we typed our messages at the exact same time. If I had waited a minute, I could have just hit the ditto sign.

Great minds think alike

Stacy, what state are you in?
The reason I ask is that you might want to begin familiarizing yourself with the state ed laws regarding services, protocol, informed consent, etc. If meetings are being held about your son, you have a right to be present and/or informed about the proceedings. There are many, many laws on the books regarding home/school consent, but most parents and even some schools aren't aware of them. The way the ADHD "diagnosis" was so casually presented to you by school officials tells me you may be dealing with a school that isn't following protocol.
I am not telling you this so you can go in there with guns blazing, ready for a fight. I just know that it helps A LOT to know what you and your son's rights are in this type of situation so you can make the best choices for him.
And finally, don't for a second think you have to give up on your hopes and dreams for your son. Most kids with ADHD (if that's even what he has) are fiercely intelligent, and go on to great success once they find a way to modulate their behaviors.

Thanks Jeanne, I am getting the feeling that none of these people at the school are following any protical.