I need a sleep nazi mommy, Jen or anyone

i had the dr completely check him from head to toe yesterday so we would be sure there are no other reasons he is waking and crying..
she said he has no teeth coming in right now..
he is just stubborn at this point..
no ear infections..no issues at all. completely healthy. and she recommended we let him cry. thats why i posted for help. i am so bad at it...
but as soon as i get dh on board we are going to do it..
andrew is his little man

but in the end Andrew will be better off for it - eventually the not sleeping a full sound nites sleep will catch up to him and make him a little cranky butt

but in the end Andrew will be better off for it - eventually the not sleeping a full sound nites sleep will catch up to him and make him a little cranky butt

what comes after cranky butt, because i think that is where he is at...

but in the end Andrew will be better off for it - eventually the not sleeping a full sound nites sleep will catch up to him and make him a little cranky butt

what comes after cranky butt, because i think that is where he is at...

Nut Man

Hang in there

my dh is concerned about starting cio before we get him eating better..he thinks its mean to take his bottles and not have him eating during the day. I said I dont think it will take long for him to start eating..so today, he had a bottle at 4am, and then he ate half banana and toast..and then did great until almost 920am and then I think I waited to long to give him a snack..so he had a 4 ounce bottle then a waffle..and then had toasted cheese for lunch and also a banana for snack later on..and only had about 8 ounces of bottle during his nap..
so we have really cut back today, and I am hoping since he ate like that, and I added rice to the milk today, to add calorie intake for the day..he might just sleep a little better which would justify it for my husband to start cio..
he really did well today and didnt fuss about the bottle to much.

WTG Andrew - keep it up and Mom an Dad will be much more fun as they will actually be awake during the day!!

that is still ALOT of milk for a guy his age. Why not cut out the bottles, give him ilk in a sippy and limit the intake of milk, because he is filling up on milk and not wanting to eat at all........not sure if I am making sense, but I think all these things need to be done all at once.

Well said Jenn!

You know the other thing that occured to me this morning are his teeth. Does he have any? Bottles are REALLY bad for their teeth, and bottle rot (which he can get since he gets milk all night) is a big issue. Our neighbors son is going under next week to get 8 cavities filled. Don't mean to scare you but it's something you might want to think about.

that is still ALOT of milk for a guy his age. Why not cut out the bottles, give him ilk in a sippy and limit the intake of milk, because he is filling up on milk and not wanting to eat at all........not sure if I am making sense, but I think all these things need to be done all at once.

he only had 12 ounces of milk..that day..
and the dr said he was allowed 16 ounces in a 24 hour period and then the rest of his drinks should be water.. or juice.

I thought he did pretty well for his first day and started to take more solids.

but honestly he slept worse last night then ever..
I dont know if it was that he didnt take in as much calories and fat as he is used to with the milk he used to drink or not..
but he certainly didnt sleep better eating the solids he ate.

Sorry, 12oz isn't bad........I thought it was more.

Any progress with getting DH on board?????

its going to take a little time for him to eat more and not fill up on milk, Kaitlin has done this, and will if I let her. I have to watch at meal time she eats and not suck down the milk which will fill her up temporarly and then a little while later I am hungry. I said food first with a little water or juice then milk

I know I've mentioned the book 'Solving your child's sleep problems' by Dr. Ferber to you before and you said you didnt agree with Dr. Ferber BUT have you thought about reading it again? The book addresses these exact issues. Dr. Ferber doesnt suggest cold turkey, either. His suggestion was what Shelly suggested,,,,,,,,,,,,, start diluting his milk bottles with a an ounce or two of water. Every few days, increase the amount of water and decrease the amount of milk. Once the bottle becomes nothing but water, he should become bored with it and he will also start eating more during the day. Right now, his body used to getting that milk at night and isnt eating as much solid food because of the milk during the night.

last night andrew got up every half hour and this morning I only saw dh for about an hour and he isnt talking to me right now
so when he gets home hopefully he is in a better mood.
we are all really tired
I am going to suggest the watering downt he formula tonight and get that started.

It will always get worse before it gets better. He is going to be worse at first because he wont be getting what he wants and what he has been accustomed to is going to change. Nobody likes change. BUT, if you stick to your guns and do NOT give in, he will shortly learn he can't have it and who really is the boss of the house...don't let it be him. Remember, he only knows as much as he has been exposed to, so he is going to think that his bottle is ok until it's taken away. He wont learn he can't have it unless you take it away.

last night andrew got up every half hour and this morning I only saw dh for about an hour and he isnt talking to me right now
so when he gets home hopefully he is in a better mood.
we are all really tired
I am going to suggest the watering downt he formula tonight and get that started.

So did you make him CIO last night?

DH needs to understand that the reason for him not eating much is because he is filling up on milk and holding out for his bottles. He wont eat better if he is still getting it, so in order for him to eat better he needs it taken away first.

Even Tanner, I limit his liquids during meals sometimes. All kids will tend to do that.

DH needs to understand that the reason for him not eating much is because he is filling up on milk and holding out for his bottles. He wont eat better if he is still getting it, so in order for him to eat better he needs it taken away first.

Even Tanner, I limit his liquids during meals sometimes. All kids will tend to do that.

Stacy, this is so true. It is a vicious circle

If he sleeps better, he will eat better, making him a happy happy boy, that will grow better. In order to grow you need sleep, food, etc.........see the circle!

DH needs to understand that the reason for him not eating much is because he is filling up on milk and holding out for his bottles. He wont eat better if he is still getting it, so in order for him to eat better he needs it taken away first.

Even Tanner, I limit his liquids during meals sometimes. All kids will tend to do that.

Stacy, this is so true. It is a vicious circle

If he sleeps better, he will eat better, making him a happy happy boy, that will grow better. In order to grow you need sleep, food, etc.........see the circle!

Yep, and the reason he is waking up is because he is use to being given a bottle when he does...which is why he isn't sleeping well. A viscious cycle it is. Sounds like DH is using that as an excuse to not do anything about it.

DH needs to man-up and take the bull by the horns!!! You can tell him I said that if you want.

DH needs to understand that the reason for him not eating much is because he is filling up on milk and holding out for his bottles. He wont eat better if he is still getting it, so in order for him to eat better he needs it taken away first.

Even Tanner, I limit his liquids during meals sometimes. All kids will tend to do that.

Stacy, this is so true. It is a vicious circle

If he sleeps better, he will eat better, making him a happy happy boy, that will grow better. In order to grow you need sleep, food, etc.........see the circle!

Yep, and the reason he is waking up is because he is use to being given a bottle when he does...which is why he isn't sleeping well. A viscious cycle it is. Sounds like DH is using that as an excuse to not do anything about it.

DH needs to man-up and take the bull by the horns!!! You can tell him I said that if you want.

I understand Stacy that you and your DH consult each other about things and if I recall he makes the decisions or is the head of the house? I think I remember that from a while back. YOU are the one that is with the children all day, to me, this is something you just DO and tell him how it is going to go. But I am a bit harsher than most wives......

You will get it figured out by whatever method you like, but keep in mind Andrew needs his 12 hours sleep and a big nap, he needs to eat better and he needs a schedule, they don't like surprises.........

DH needs to understand that the reason for him not eating much is because he is filling up on milk and holding out for his bottles. He wont eat better if he is still getting it, so in order for him to eat better he needs it taken away first.

Even Tanner, I limit his liquids during meals sometimes. All kids will tend to do that.

Stacy, this is so true. It is a vicious circle

If he sleeps better, he will eat better, making him a happy happy boy, that will grow better. In order to grow you need sleep, food, etc.........see the circle!

Yep, and the reason he is waking up is because he is use to being given a bottle when he does...which is why he isn't sleeping well. A viscious cycle it is. Sounds like DH is using that as an excuse to not do anything about it.

DH needs to man-up and take the bull by the horns!!! You can tell him I said that if you want.

I understand Stacy that you and your DH consult each other about things and if I recall he makes the decisions or is the head of the house? I think I remember that from a while back. YOU are the one that is with the children all day, to me, this is something you just DO and tell him how it is going to go. But I am a bit harsher than most wives......

You will get it figured out by whatever method you like, but keep in mind Andrew needs his 12 hours sleep and a big nap, he needs to eat better and he needs a schedule, they don't like surprises.........

I do the same thing with Troy when it comes to some things. Like yesterday...my rule is food is eaten at the table unless it's a nonmessy snack like fruit snacks. Aiden wanted an apple for a snack so I made him sit at the table. Well, Aiden lately has not been wanting to sit at the table for much of anything other than his 3 meals. Troy went and gave him the apple and let him walk around with it, so I had to take it from Aiden and make him sit with it. Troy thought it was "easier" to just let him have it.

The moral of the story...the "easier" way usually is not the right way, or in the best interest of the child.

If I let Aiden walk around with all food, he will eventually never want to sit at the table. Thus, forming a bad habit of giving in and fighting with him to sit while eating. In the end, having a huge battle of wills on our hands to break the habit and listening to him throw HUGE fits over just sitting at the table. See where this is going? Once things get out of hand, they are hard to change, but we have to put our foot down in the best interest of our children.

This post has been edited by Boo&BugsMom on Jan 15 2009, 11:48 AM

I totally agree with the Jen and Jennie team not to mention that too much milk at the age is a sure cause of anemia as you mentioned so maybe pointing out to DH how it can jeopordize his health would help.....I am sure it isn't that DH doesn't want him to sleep, etc. he just feels bad - its hard - but I would sit down with DH - make a plan and stick to it....you have some good suggestions here tailor them to your way of thinking but remember it won't be an easy won battle......

do you think you could all just come on over here and take over for about two weeks, and I could go, oh, I dont know, on vacation
Jen, my dh is head of household, but we always confer on things and usually always come to an agreement..he doesnt pull rank or anything like that.
we are indeed trying to come up with a game plan we both can agree on so that once we start its not something we go back on and confuse andrew or make it worse for him.
andrew as you can imagine is a mess today, crying and very frustrated..
he isnt eating for me or taking bottles today.
he is to tired I think.
I am going to try to get him down earlier tonight and then dilute the bottles.
and my hope is to then have dh on board.

this is got to be frustrating for you, also make sure you get a good bedtime routine, so he knows its bed time. I hope he sleeps better for you.

Sounds good Stacy - just get the plan together between the two of you first so you have no confusion - or confusion for Andrew - another thing I used to use with my two more when they were infants but chamomile tea - it is calming and also helps their tummies - I made the tea then diluted it but made sure it was still warm - but not too warm for them obviously - once you get a bedtime routine down it might help to be the last thing he gets before he goes down......