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> I wanted to ask....
supermom
Posted: Apr 29 2003, 10:45 AM
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QUOTE (Schnoogly @ Apr 29 2003, 01:32 PM)
I think it's awful when you want to breastfeed but can't--makes me jealous of all the moms who could have but chose to formula feed (not to flame, just MHO)

Steph
QUOTE (~*~Zach's Mom~*~ @ Apr 29 2003, 01:32 PM)
I agree with that... I started off breastfeeding, but stopped because I had to go back to work.  I could have continued to pump, but it was just too much of a hassle.  This baby though, I'm taking advantage of the full year of maternity leave, and I am NOT going back after 2 1/2 months.  Unless I physically can't do it, breastfeeding, here I come!


Three cheers for you Zach's Mom, and hang in there Steph, I think you both are great for even chosing to start!!!!

I have been wanting to ask somethig of all of you for a while (in response to the post about "How do you put your baby to sleep") - I don't want anyone to think that I am putting them down for quitting or for chosing not to in the first place, that is strictly your decision. I am not someone to push my decisions onto someone else, what ever is right for you may not be right for me, and vice-versa - gotta love that gut feeling!

Several of you in there posted about how much you missed nursing your babies to sleep. I am an avid BF (see the site Militant Breastfeeding Cult - that covers most of it!! - laugh.gif) - Still nursing a 3 YO and have BF all of my babies - PG with number 5 now, and still going strong with number 4.

Now for the question - how come you quit BF your babies to sleep if you miss it so much? It's not a "flame" against your parenting style - in fact, quite the contrary - I would really like to know.....more to satisify my curiosity than anything else. Was it "peer pressure"? (whether from parents, OB, SO, etc, etc,) because I know had my XH been more supportive, I would have really made an EFFORT to not have my older ones wean so soon. Even though it was "self led" I know he (XH) was really happier when I was not BF (he was a PRUDE!! laugh.gif). This time with my DH, he is very open and supportive, which is one of the reasons (IMHO) that I think Anders has nursed so long.....and I know when he does quit I will miss that time with him too, but I got the impression that most of you had much younger babies (1 and less).

Thanks - just curious -





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Beverly, DH Eje, and mom to PJ, 20 Leah, 18 Sara, 16 Anders, 5
and Emily, almost 2

"A mother holds her children's hands for just a little while, but she holds their hearts forever."
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
"Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years."
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Kaitlin'smom
Posted: Apr 29 2003, 11:20 AM
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I still mostly nurse her to sleep, only on occasion when she does not want to nurse anymoore (guess she is full) will I just rock her to sleep. wub.gif So for now she is primarly nursed to sleep, dont know how long I will keep it up, guess as long a she wants. We have plenty of time she just turned 4 months! I am lucky I have such an understaning boss and found a sitter so close to work! It sure makes BF easier. I do love it and so glad I was able to. smile.gif


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Schnoogly
Posted: Apr 29 2003, 11:26 AM
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ITA Supermom!!!!! At the risk of offending lots of people, I am definitely a militant BF mom. I wanted to BF so bad I stayed at the hospital 12 hours a day (4 feedings) from the second day after Iain's birth (I went home the next day although he didn't) so I could BF. Plus I pumped every 3 hours, even at night. I basically had no recovery time--I hardly slept or rested. I sat in the uncomfortable chairs in the hospital cafeteria waiting for the next feeding so I could try, pathetically, to BF again even though he was so sick he wouldn't latch.

I continued to pump exclusively for the next 6 weeks until he finally started to BF. But by then it was too late--I never developed a full supply. My milk didn't come in at all until about a week PP, and then it was 10ccs only that I could pump. I remember very clearly sadly bringing back the tiny little bottle of milk to Iain's NICU nurse so she could feed it at night when I wasn't there and she took one look and said "you need to make more milk" and proceeded to give me a lecture on what I should be doing (which I already was). I just started to cry, and I cried with every pumping session because I felt my body had failed him when he needed it so much. It makes my cry now to think about it. I saw armies of lactation consultants, took every herb, pumped every 2 hours some days, and now I take domperidone but nothing has worked.

So I don't have much sympathy for moms who complain that BF is "too much work" when they have trouble or that it is too hard to do when they are so tired from delivery. My labor was 22 hours and I pushed for 2.5 hours (and I had the flu) so I don't have a lot of sympathy.

Besides, Iain HATES formula and bottles, so every feeding makes me even more depressed that I can't EBF. And he would never sleep at all if he couldn't nurse--he loves it now!!

Sorry this is so whiny--obviously the zoloft isn't working so well today!!
Steph


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Steph, mom to Iain born 12/24/02 whose heart was fixed 3-20-03
Iain's page & heart story & one ^i^ 9/04
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supermom
Posted: Apr 29 2003, 11:45 AM
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YOU GO STEPH!!!

I am so totally sympathetic for what you went thru - if I couldn't EBF I don't know if I would have handled it nearly as well as you!!

Just a thought, but in order to help re-build your milk suppy (as I assume you do still have some milk, but not enough?) have you ever tried a Lactation Aid?? Was just wondering and trying to help with some things that I have read that have helped others.....

Hang in there and lots of hugs for you and Iain!!


--------------------
Beverly, DH Eje, and mom to PJ, 20 Leah, 18 Sara, 16 Anders, 5
and Emily, almost 2

"A mother holds her children's hands for just a little while, but she holds their hearts forever."
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
"Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years."
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Kaitlin'smom
Posted: Apr 29 2003, 11:57 AM
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QUOTE
I remember very clearly sadly bringing back the tiny little bottle of milk to Iain's NICU nurse so she could feed it at night when I wasn't there and she took one look and said "you need to make more milk" and proceeded to give me a lecture on what I should be doing (which I already was).


all I have to say to her is:
smash.gif

not very supportive. I just about smacked my second lactation consultant, I was worried that I could not sastify her and had questions when my milk would come in, and she proceded to ask me how I was holding her and to see if she was latching on smash.gif I told her that was not my question, and she said well I need to see it, I said she latches on just fine. I made her leave, she never answerd the question, thank goodness the nurese were very understanding and helpful she was the only problem I had during my stay!

Keep it up, and enjoy when you do get to BF we are hear for you. thumb.gif


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Di ~ mommy to Kaitlin wife to David
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Hillbilly Housewife
Posted: Apr 29 2003, 12:24 PM
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Well, I mainly stopped breastfeeding because I went back to work early, but I did pump for a good 3 weeks after I started working. I bought myself the Aveda pump, and I used it all the time. Or, I should say, I rather TRIED to use it all the time. I didn't have a big supply to begin with - when I'd breastfeed, he'd be always hungry. He'd always get the foremilk, but the let down would never come. So we started supplementing with formula on the doc's advice.

When I started pumping, I'd only get an ounce or so every time. I couldn,t keep up with Zach's hunger, nevermind that my boobs were so sore... so I stopped pumping one day, and by the 3rd day, I had none left. I could pump til the cows came home, I wouldn,t get any more than a few drops..... and Zach was so used to the bottle, that he'd refuse the breast at night.... so.....things are hopefully going to be different fr this little baby


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CantWait
Posted: Apr 29 2003, 12:29 PM
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QUOTE
So I don't have much sympathy for moms who complain that BF is "too much work" when they have trouble or that it is too hard to do when they are so tired from delivery. My labor was 22 hours and I pushed for 2.5 hours (and I had the flu) so I don't have a lot of sympathy.


I'm really sorry you were unable to breastfeed, although I have to say that you're not the only one who has been in this sort of situation therefore not making yours any better or worse off. I myself COULDN'T BF my baby for circumstances that were beyond my control. It wasn't a choice I made.

Not only that, every new mom or mom with more then 1 child is different, and the situation changes with every child, I resent the fact that you think that because of your situation you don't think that any other mom has the right to complain that something to do with bf or motherhood is troublesome for them. Isn't that what this forum is for???

Just my 2cents.gif


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~Marie, mom to Robbie, 15 and Anthony, 7 and our newest addition, Mia Eliana~

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supermom
Posted: Apr 29 2003, 01:29 PM
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I knew I was going to <possibly> open up a can of worms with this one........

I don't think that she was necessarily picking on anyone in particular, and I can also relate to her very strong feelings on the issue.

I think we all need to vent our feelings and that is what both of you are doing, which is good -

HUGS to both of you!!


--------------------
Beverly, DH Eje, and mom to PJ, 20 Leah, 18 Sara, 16 Anders, 5
and Emily, almost 2

"A mother holds her children's hands for just a little while, but she holds their hearts forever."
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
"Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years."
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Kaitlin'smom
Posted: Apr 29 2003, 01:44 PM
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QUOTE
I knew I was going to <possibly> open up a can of worms with this one........

ohmy.gif mad.gif ohmy.gif

everyone is different thats for sure. I always knew if I had a child I would want to try and brestfeed no matter what anyone said (glad I have lots of support) but there are some people who dont want to (or cant) for what ever reason. As long a your taking the best care of your child you can thats all that matters to me! biggrin.gif

I know someone who never had any interest in breatfeeding any of her childeren (she has 3 now), she wanted the 'convience' of bottles, so anyone could feed them if needed. Thats her way.


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kit_kats_mom
Posted: Apr 29 2003, 02:21 PM
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I am still nursing Katherine to sleep at 8 months. I am beginning to rethink that decision now, mainly for selfish reasons. She has gotten so used to nursing to sleep that I am now a pacifier. If I pull her off, even when she is in a deep sleep and no longer eating, She screams and pitches a fit until I cave in and put it back in her mouth. My back is KILLING me, I am the only one who can put her to sleep and when she goes to bed at 8, I have to go to bed to. I usually take a book and read with her latched on until I fall asleep around 12. It really kinda sucks..LOL...no pun intended! I know that she is really happy and frankly, I wouldn't mind at all if she would just let me up after she has gone to sleep. That's prime couple time that DH and I are missing out on, to say nothing of prime time TV rolling_smile.gif . Same thing for naps. I never get anything done when she is asleep and so my house is falling to shambles and my work is falling behind. I don't want to let her CIO so I am trying the "pantley pull-off". Weve done that the last few nights and we have yet to be successful. We will keep on trying.

I really want to BF until she self weans, which may be in 20 years at the rate that she is taking solids. I do enjoy the closeness.

Cary


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Schnoogly
Posted: Apr 29 2003, 02:23 PM
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QUOTE (CantWait @ Apr 29 2003, 01:29 PM)
I'm really sorry you were unable to breastfeed, although I have to say that you're not the only one who has been in this sort of situation therefore not making yours any better or worse off.  I myself COULDN'T BF my baby for circumstances that were beyond my control.  It wasn't a choice I made.

Not only that, every new mom or mom with more then 1 child is different, and the situation changes with every child, I resent the fact that you think that because of your situation you don't think that any other mom has the right to complain that something to do with bf or motherhood is troublesome for them.  Isn't that what this forum is for???

Just my  2cents.gif

No of course I didn't mean that--breastfeeding is hard at first and I think every mom who tries deserves all the support and sympathy in the world. I guess what I meant to say is that I don't understand why anyone would choose to formula feed--having done both, BF is so much easier, especially at night! No mixing, warming, or washing.

And I could easily say that my circumstances were beyond my control--it would have been so easy for me to quit and I didn't. What I said is mostly directed at moms who choose not to BF or quit after two days.

And I'm well aware that many people have much worse situations than mine--I regularly post on the PP heart defects board and there are plenty of babies there who have to be fed through g-buttons. At least mine can eat. I've said how lucky I feel in other posts.

And I did post under the breastfeeding support board so non-Bf moms didn't have to read it!!

Sorry, very cranky today. Iain is back to the hour long screaming before 20 minute nap phase.

Steph

PS Thanks Supermom & Kaitlin for your support!


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Steph, mom to Iain born 12/24/02 whose heart was fixed 3-20-03
Iain's page & heart story & one ^i^ 9/04
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Kaitlin'smom
Posted: Apr 30 2003, 06:03 AM
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QUOTE
I guess what I meant to say is that I don't understand why anyone would choose to formula feed


I guess I dont understand it either (probably never will and thats ok), I have only BF and the few times I TRIED to give her a bottle it was a pain for me, guess if I had to fomula feed I would get used to it, but I am glad I dont have to. but like I said before everyone has their own way, and as long as they take the best care possible of there little one its okay with me.

QUOTE
PS Thanks Supermom & Kaitlin for your support!

your welcome and thats what we are hear for!


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MommyToAshley
Posted: Apr 30 2003, 06:47 AM
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I was debating whether or not to jump in here... hehe emlaugh.gif

I read a lot about BF and wanted to BF because of all the benefits that it would give my baby. However, I did not grow up in an environment where BF was common... I think everyone I know has bottle fed their babies. Soooo, I was nervous, anxious, wondering if I COULD BF. But, I decided to give it a try anyways -- and I am soo glad I did. I gave it a try for the health benefits, but I love it sooo much because of the bond it helped to create with Ashley. There are times when I am nursing her that we will sigh at the same time, yawn at the same time, and when she falls asleep nursing, I will look down at her and smile and we smile at the same time even though she is asleep. It just amazes me!

Didn't mean to get off-track there, but my point is that not everyone has the same exposure, information, and support when it comes to BF. There may be other factors... of which I am sure working outside of the home is a major factor. Some work environments are still not supportive or allow a place for Moms to pump. So, I try not to be judgemental and I don't think anyone should feel bad if they can't or choose not to BF. Everyone has to do what works for their family. Don't take me wrong -- I know that no one here was judging anyone, but I don't want anyone to feel bad if they use formula. Heck, I was formula fed and look how great I turned out! HAHA! rolling_smile.gif But, I would definately recommend at least giving BF a try... I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoy it!


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Dee Dee , Mommy to:
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