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Parenting Club Forums > Food & Medical Allergies > They say they are nut free

Posted by: mysweetpeasWil&Wes Sep 29 2008, 09:22 PM

I'm in the process of looking for a "nut free" preschool for Wil. It is my fault that I didn't do more research when I first found him a preschool, which happens to allow nut products, but the one we chose had a good reputation and its affordable. Plus, right around the corner from our house. We love it there, Wil loves it there, but when we were at the doctor's last week, he said "You really can't leave Wil with anyone you don't trust completely". Well it hit me hard, hearing someone point out that I shouldn't be taking the slightest risk. I went home and cried. I've been making excuses for our school for months now, lying to myself that he will be ok. Well teachers make mistakes and the fact our school allows nuts, however careful they promise to be, just won't cut it anymore. They really are super careful at lunchtime, I have written letters to the parents, I have trained the staff on how to use the epipen, but the fact that they do indeed ALLOW nuts, and won't change that policy, just makes me worried. There has to be a better option. The Director herself has a 9 year old daughter with nut allergy so I thought "here's someone who's been there", yet she seems just so unwilling to make any extra efforts sometimes. She made ME write the letter. She is forgetful too and just not very smart. It took her two weeks to get my letter out! In the meantime, banana nut muffins were brought in one day to class. The teacher caught it thankfully, but if the letter went out on time, I don't think the muffins would have ever been there.

Anyhow, long story short...I called a new preschool today a friend told me is in fact "nut free". Well apparently it is only PEANUT free, not nut free. No peanuts are allowed in the class at all, but parents can substitute with almond butter or sunflower butter. Well what good does that do me????? I'm sorry, but what's the point IMO! I'm so frustrated you guys. This school is also $100 more a month than our current school...Now money is no issue when it comes to the safety of my child. But in this case, I'm not going to pay more just to have the same worry. Ugh. I seriously don't know what to do anymore.

Posted by: Nina J Sep 30 2008, 01:01 AM

Ive never been in the same situation, but I can imagine how frustrating it is.

I know one of my friends kids schools went nut free when a boy started there who had severe allergies. I don' see why all schools can't be, it wouldn't be hard. It's not like a huge sacrifice.

Good luck

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Sep 30 2008, 02:52 AM

Rae it seems really unfair for the dr to have put that type of pressure on you. there is no way to be 100% sure anywhere you go.
all you can do is try to find someone you can trust as much as you can...know what I mean, even as allergy kid moms, we sometimes makes mistakes ourselves, we feed them something processed in a plant with nuts because it wasnt written clearly on the lable or it was mislabled.
I think if you are happy with the preschool he is in, then just work on getting them as nut free as you can..if you talked to the current person in charge and havent really been able to get thru to her, how about going above her?
I have had more luck working thru regional and district managers..
have you offered to supply the snacks for his class?
I am sure you have.

if you cant get this director to be more reasonable, then you might have to find another place, have you considered putting an ad out for a person to come into your home? Maybe then you could do interviews, (time consuming I know) but if you offered what you are paying a facility, which is usually a lot more then in home people get, it might work?

Maybe even finding a sahm who is a nurse (like me

) to do it? If you put the ad out you might find someone like that.

I know its hard, when you wish you could put your son in a bubble, but at the same time you just want him to be treated like the other kids.

I think mainly when I read this post this morning I just wanted you to know you are not alone, and you cant nut proof the world, you are doing your very best. I wonder if the dr or allergiest in that area could tell you of a support group and then those other moms might have a place they take their kids, or someone they trust? See if you can make some connections?

Rae you and your family remain in my prayers.

Posted by: Jamison'smama Sep 30 2008, 03:58 AM

I am so sorry, I know this is stressful! I have a very good friend who has similar stuggles. He is severly allergic but he is in a regular preschool. She did as you did, trained, wrote letters, and she broght his snack everyday. She never left it up to the teachers to check, she just brought his food with strict instructions. It seems to be going well although in the beginning she was scared to death as I'm sure you are.

Jamison has a peanut allergy in her classroom and the school is not nut-free but her classroom is. They have sign on the door. We can bring in birthday treats but the girl keeps her own candy in her cubby for just that occasion.

I'm sorry you have to stress about this but it sounds like you are doing everything you can.