The thing is, I really struggle with depression. I think it's to the point that it's affecting my physical health...my body hurts alot and I'm always tired. Before my chemical pregnancy in December, I had been taking Prozac for about 3 months. I stopped when I found out i was pregnant and I just didn't go back to it. I thought about starting it again, but I saw something on television today about it. There is a class-action suit for people whose unborn babies were harmed from mothers taking antidepressants. I know some people take them and their babies are fine. I just don't wanna do anything that could harm my baby, should I be lucky enough to have one.
Lately, all I want to do is put on my pajamas as soon as i walk in the door, and then turn out all the lights. I'm kinda sad that I don't have any close friendships here, but I'm not sure I would want to do anything anyway. I haven't heard much about the ED treatment center, as I can almost never reach my therapist. If my insurance had cooperated, I would be going into the center in 2 days
Since I can never get my therapist, I don't have anybody else to talk to about anything...it just sort of builds in me. Im afraid I'm about to switch to the other side of the ED, which involves eating little and obsessing about everything that goes in my mouth. Then there's the obsessive exercising. I just feel like that's where this is headed because i can't stand how i look. I don't even have a baby as an excuse to be overweight.As I sad, I know I don't really belong here...especially in the postpartum depression section. I just wanted to get it out somewhere. I really appreciate everyone being so nice to me on this board
I feel so awful lately. I want to cry so much of the time, but I don't. I RARELY cry. Instead, I retreat inside myself and spend a lot of time in the dark. Part of my current trouble is that I am in the 2ww of my cycle. I know we did everything right, but I also know that I might get to the end of my cycle and start my period. I feel lonely a lot of the time, and my husband is definitely not a conversationalist. I don't have any real friends here. I have some surface friends...people who are content to stay on the surface and never go any deeper. All relationships like that do for me anymore is make me feel lonelier.