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Parenting Club Forums > Fatherhood > Macho or Not so


Posted by: CantWait Jun 12 2006, 10:59 AM
Do you consider yourself a macho man, or a not so macho man?

My dh is definetly a macho guy. wub.gif

Posted by: TheOaf66 Jun 12 2006, 11:29 AM
I would say I am a macho kind of guy, have all the characteristics anyways, anything not so macho I don't let anyone else know about

dry.gif

Posted by: redchief Jun 12 2006, 06:21 PM
I'm a firefighting, bleeding stopping, plumber. I think I'll have a manicure.... NOT>> laugh.gif

Posted by: luvmykids Jun 12 2006, 10:02 PM
QUOTE (redchief @ Jun 12 2006, 08:21 PM)
I'm a firefighting, bleeding stopping, plumber. I think I'll have a manicure.... NOT>> laugh.gif

rolling_smile.gif That cracks me up because DH is very macho, mr. construction and mr. rodeo, but guess where he asked me out on our first date? a nail/tanning salon rolling_smile.gif

Posted by: Hillbilly Housewife Jun 13 2006, 04:08 AM
I wish my dh was macho. Right now he's just a big wimp who doesn't cook. laugh.gif

Posted by: Ashlynn's Mommy Jun 13 2006, 04:10 AM
QUOTE (luvmykids @ Jun 13 2006, 02:02 AM)
QUOTE (redchief @ Jun 12 2006, 08:21 PM)
I'm a firefighting, bleeding stopping, plumber. I think I'll have a manicure.... NOT>> laugh.gif

rolling_smile.gif That cracks me up because DH is very macho, mr. construction and mr. rodeo, but guess where he asked me out on our first date? a nail/tanning salon rolling_smile.gif

rolling_smile.gif rolling_smile.gif rolling_smile.gif rolling_smile.gif

Posted by: salmndr007 Jun 13 2006, 06:03 AM
I would say that I am (or at least trying to become) a man of steel and velvet. It is actually a book that I am reading by aubrey andelin. I highly recommend it. It has completely changed the way that I think about some things and reinforced others. If you like to read, pick it up...if you don't like to read...read it anyways!

Posted by: J-rod Jun 13 2006, 06:58 AM
try ot be in the middle...be what i need to be at the time. if im needed to be sweet and soft...then i be it.... if im needed to be strong and tough...then i am....

Posted by: Ashlynn's Mommy Jun 13 2006, 07:03 AM
My S/O is such a child. He's a 10 year old trapped in a 30 year old body. But I love it. He's always cracking me up!! rolling_smile.gif wavey.gif

Posted by: TheOaf66 Jun 13 2006, 07:25 AM
I consider myself a 21 year old in a 31 year old body

cool.gif

Posted by: redchief Jun 13 2006, 07:34 AM
QUOTE (J-rod @ Jun 13 2006, 09:58 AM)
try ot be in the middle...be what i need to be at the time. if im needed to be sweet and soft...then i be it.... if im needed to be strong and tough...then i am....

Good show J... I'm not so good at sweet and soft, though I do try. My analytical mind insists on getting in the way of my "inner emotions." My CISD counsellor says that's a defense mechanism I've built to deal with bad stuff that happens. dunno.gif

Anyway, thank God I have a wonderful wife who mostly understands me, even when I don't deserve it. blush.gif

Posted by: J-rod Jun 13 2006, 07:39 AM
true....i keep everything bottled up (bad things) then just EXPLODE once.....Steph is doing wonders for me though....helping me deal with things as they come. hence ive been alcohol free since Nov. 9 2005. she bought me the last beer i had...a rolling rock at Winstons Bar watching the davison brothers. lol man i remember it perfectly. lol

Posted by: redchief Jun 13 2006, 07:45 AM
Well done! I get in these ruts where I just don't want to deal with people... That's a common problem among my "archtype". Lisa doesn't let me, and she does it subtly, so I don't realize what she's done until I'm having a good time with friends and.... rolling_smile.gif

Posted by: AlexsPajamaMama Jun 13 2006, 07:46 AM
QUOTE (J-rod @ Jun 13 2006, 11:39 AM)
true....i keep everything bottled up (bad things) then just EXPLODE once.....Steph is doing wonders for me though....helping me deal with things as they come. hence ive been alcohol free since Nov. 9 2005. she bought me the last beer i had...a rolling rock at Winstons Bar watching the davison brothers. lol man i remember it perfectly. lol

WTG on being alcohol free! horray.gif horray.gif

Posted by: DVFlyer Jun 13 2006, 08:15 AM
I'm a Macho man trapped in a Not Macho Man's body. biggrin.gif You know.... like a Chihuaua (huh?) who thinks he's a German Shepherd.

Congrats on living in the alcohol free zone, J. smile.gif

Posted by: TheOaf66 Jun 13 2006, 08:29 AM
QUOTE (redchief @ Jun 13 2006, 10:34 AM)


Anyway, thank God I have a wonderful wife who mostly understands me, even when I don't deserve it. blush.gif

I think a lot of us feel that way

thumb.gif

Posted by: Boo&BugsMom Jun 19 2006, 12:17 PM
QUOTE (TheOaf66 @ Jun 12 2006, 11:29 AM)
I would say I am a macho kind of guy, have all the characteristics anyways, anything not so macho I don't let anyone else know about

dry.gif

He eats Cheetos and nachos with a fork because he doesn't want to get his fingers all icky guys!!! Not so macho on that one dear!

Posted by: BAC'sMom Jun 19 2006, 12:35 PM
QUOTE
TannerBugsMom Posted on Jun 19 2006, 03:17 PM
  QUOTE (TheOaf66 @ Jun 12 2006, 11:29 AM)
I would say I am a macho kind of guy, have all the characteristics anyways, anything not so macho I don't let anyone else know about

 


He eats Cheetos and nachos with a fork because he doesn't want to get his fingers all icky guys!!! Not so macho on that one dear! 

rolling_smile.gif rolling_smile.gif

Posted by: Maddie&EthansMom Jun 19 2006, 02:42 PM
Scotty is a nice balance of both. happy.gif

Posted by: gr33n3y3z Jun 19 2006, 03:22 PM
QUOTE (redchief @ Jun 13 2006, 11:34 AM)
QUOTE (J-rod @ Jun 13 2006, 09:58 AM)
try ot be in the middle...be what i need to be at the time. if im needed to be sweet and soft...then i be it.... if im needed to be strong and tough...then i am....

Good show J... I'm not so good at sweet and soft, though I do try. My analytical mind insists on getting in the way of my "inner emotions." My CISD counsellor says that's a defense mechanism I've built to deal with bad stuff that happens. dunno.gif

Anyway, thank God I have a wonderful wife who mostly understands me, even when I don't deserve it. blush.gif

Yes I can agree with what Ed said
But to deal with what he deals with day in and day out you have to be that way or you will loose it 100% and not come back.
So I understand smile.gif

But he does have a soft side and I only get to see that wink.gif

Posted by: redchief Jun 19 2006, 07:52 PM
QUOTE (gr33n3y3z @ Jun 19 2006, 07:22 PM)
QUOTE (redchief @ Jun 13 2006, 11:34 AM)
QUOTE (J-rod @ Jun 13 2006, 09:58 AM)
try ot be in the middle...be what i need to be at the time. if im needed to be sweet and soft...then i be it.... if im needed to be strong and tough...then i am....

Good show J... I'm not so good at sweet and soft, though I do try. My analytical mind insists on getting in the way of my "inner emotions." My CISD counsellor says that's a defense mechanism I've built to deal with bad stuff that happens. dunno.gif

Anyway, thank God I have a wonderful wife who mostly understands me, even when I don't deserve it. blush.gif

Yes I can agree with what Ed said
But to deal with what he deals with day in and day out you have to be that way or you will loose it 100% and not come back.
So I understand smile.gif

But he does have a soft side and I only get to see that wink.gif

Lisa's the only one I can trust with my soft side. tongue.gif

Thanks hon wub.gif Love you too. wub.gif

Posted by: salmndr007 Jun 20 2006, 03:39 AM
It is funny because both Jess and I have set up defence mechanisms so we become cold to the outside world when bad things happen. Basically we go into our little cave, put up the walls to everyone else and just sit there for a while. It is something that we have each been doing since we were young to try and deal with what is going on outside of us. When we got together, we found that we could immediately open up to each other and expose our soft inner parts and could do so without the fear of being taken advantage of. We have both helped each other out with being able to break down those walls for good, even to the outside world. I used to be a very macho person who wouldn't let anyone in, but with Jess' help, I can now use my not so macho persona out in town and be ok with it.

Posted by: redchief Jun 21 2006, 07:33 PM
QUOTE (salmndr007 @ Jun 20 2006, 07:39 AM)
It is funny because both Jess and I have set up defence mechanisms so we become cold to the outside world when bad things happen. Basically we go into our little cave, put up the walls to everyone else and just sit there for a while. It is something that we have each been doing since we were young to try and deal with what is going on outside of us. When we got together, we found that we could immediately open up to each other and expose our soft inner parts and could do so without the fear of being taken advantage of. We have both helped each other out with being able to break down those walls for good, even to the outside world. I used to be a very macho person who wouldn't let anyone in, but with Jess' help, I can now use my not so macho persona out in town and be ok with it.

That's good that you two found each other. I don't know what I'd do without my Lisa. thumb.gif

Posted by: My2Beauties Jun 27 2006, 02:13 PM
Hey Ed...you're starting to sound like a softie there. tongue.gif

Brian is definitely a macho guy, sometimes more than I would like. It's nice when he kills bugs, changes light bulbs, takes out the trash, fixes things, etc... but not so nice when you argue with someone about how insensitive they can be and they come back with "yep sure am!" dry.gif He has his moments where he says the sweetest, sensitive things, then the next week he irritates me with every non-sensitive thing he can pull off - I think he has PMS once a month blink.gif

For example we're watching reruns of the show Friends last night, where Rachel found out that Ross had a one night stand, Ross said that he thought they were broke-up because she said she needed a break - anyways he basically poured his heart to her and kept trying to tell her how much he loved her and that it would have never happened had he not thought they were broken-up - anywhoo at the end of the whole episode he tries to kiss her and she tells him to leave because she basically can't trust him anymore - so Brian goes "Well I would have said fine if you don't want me then I'll go back to her, she'll take it again!" blink.gif blink.gif Um....huh? I just shook my head and got up and walked away from that one - boy can he be awful sometimes rolleyes.gif He thought it was hilarious of course! rolleyes.gif

Posted by: redchief Jun 30 2006, 01:03 PM
QUOTE (hannasmommy @ Jun 27 2006, 06:13 PM)
Hey Ed...you're starting to sound like a softie there. tongue.gif

I got bored and started looking back and just saw your post LeeAnne. I consider myself a macho softie. wink.gif
thumb.gif

Posted by: A&A'smommy Jul 1 2006, 01:07 PM
well my husband is no really macho but he is definitly not a softie at ALL its very difficult sometimes. I would like to learn to be more understanding I feel bad for him because I tend to loose it with him and I really don't mean to I'm trying to be more understanding and I'm trying not to change him.

Posted by: Jamison'smama Jul 1 2006, 08:12 PM
QUOTE (redchief @ Jun 13 2006, 11:34 AM)
Good show J... I'm not so good at sweet and soft, though I do try. My analytical mind insists on getting in the way of my "inner emotions." My CISD counsellor says that's a defense mechanism I've built to deal with bad stuff that happens. dunno.gif

Just curious CISD = "Critical Incident Stress Debriefing"? I would imagine in your line of work ---that coping mechanism is absolutely necessary. I would also guess in DW's work/volunteering, she has to be much the same way at times. It's hard to shut that off.

Posted by: Brias3 Jul 2 2006, 11:54 AM
My husband's a good combo of both. He's all macho but when it comes to the kids, he's really just a big softie wub.gif

Posted by: My3LilMonkeys Jul 2 2006, 08:05 PM
My DH isn't exactly macho - he's really kind of like a big kid to be honest. emlaugh.gif He has his tough moments, but they are few & far between.

Posted by: Jackie012007 Jul 2 2006, 08:17 PM
my DF is weird, he's macho with the guys but a totaly wussy when he's around just me... whiney and lovey dovey, etc. But he is macho when he has to be, I guess tongue.gif He drives my dad crazy because my dad is THE MACHO MAN... hunter/fisher, works on cars, good with his hands etc and he desperately wants to bond with Carl, but Carl is more of an electronics/XBOX/ online geek, about the only outdoor macho thing he does is play paintball... but I love his dorkiness wub.gif

Posted by: redchief Jul 2 2006, 08:22 PM
QUOTE (alyssa'smommy @ Jul 1 2006, 05:07 PM)
I'm trying not to change him.

This would be a very dfficult thing to do anyway. You might be able to temper his bahavior, but inside he'll still be who he is.

Posted by: redchief Jul 2 2006, 08:26 PM
QUOTE (Jamison'smama @ Jul 2 2006, 12:12 AM)
QUOTE (redchief @ Jun 13 2006, 11:34 AM)
Good show J... I'm not so good at sweet and soft, though I do try. My analytical mind insists on getting in the way of my "inner emotions." My CISD counsellor says that's a defense mechanism I've built to deal with bad stuff that happens.  dunno.gif

Just curious CISD = "Critical Incident Stress Debriefing"? I would imagine in your line of work ---that coping mechanism is absolutely necessary. I would also guess in DW's work/volunteering, she has to be much the same way at times. It's hard to shut that off.

I honestly think in her case it can be worse, though she may argue the point. See, it's okay for me to get mad when a person dies or and incident goes bad. She has to counsel people who have continually moved back into an abusive relationships, and she has to try to continue to be understanding and compassionate, in the off chance that person might actually stay away this time. I couldn't do what she does.

Posted by: Jamison'smama Jul 3 2006, 03:45 AM
QUOTE (redchief @ Jul 3 2006, 12:26 AM)
I honestly think in her case it can be worse, though she may argue the point. See, it's okay for me to get mad when a person dies or and incident goes bad. She has to counsel people who have continually moved back into an abusive relationships, and she has to try to continue to be understanding and compassionate, in the off chance that person might actually stay away this time. I couldn't do what she does.

I understand DW completely but I would imagine she has found a way to compartmentalize those emotions as well. She has to see herself as a "seed planter" and it's easier to get through. I commend both of you for your dedication to others.

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