Be alone for a little while, get to know yourself as Nadya again, not so-in-so's girlfriend, ya know?
Not trying to be mean, but I believe in honesty, esp when giving advice to a friend.
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| Parenting Club Forums > Single Parents > uhh im horrible at this |
| Posted by: luvbug00 Apr 9 2011, 04:24 AM |
| I wasted no time hitting up the dating scene. Just kinda threw out the line. Whatever happens happens. So I met this guy on the website. We have started to be friends as we have a lot in common. Well I never log out of the site because I'm on a ton of forums and can't remember my passwords. He mentioned in a text that I seem to live on the site...I told him my intentions are pure. He must think I'm talking to a million other dudes. I'm not solely speaking with him but I like him best so far. What do I do!? What do I say?! |
| Posted by: my2monkeyboys Apr 9 2011, 05:04 AM |
| Do you want me to be honest? If so, I say stop. Stop talking to this guy, the other guy, the next guy. Don't be in the dating scene at all right now. You literally just left a relationship and I think you and Maya both need some time without worrying about some man. Be alone for a little while, get to know yourself as Nadya again, not so-in-so's girlfriend, ya know? Not trying to be mean, but I believe in honesty, esp when giving advice to a friend. |
| Posted by: luvbug00 Apr 9 2011, 05:38 AM |
| I've never seen myself as only someones girlfriend. I've never needed a boyfriend. I like to have them. What I do need is companionship. For the first time I haven't shed a tear over Jon. I'm happy and done wasting my time with losers. I really have the beginning of a great friendship with this guy. If it became more later then it was ment to be. However the start to any friendship is honesty and openness. I don't want to him to doubt my intentions or my sincerity. Yes, its technically a dating site. But I've been clear on my status. On what I want and don't. I don't think I should deny myself a friend because of my newly single status. |
| Posted by: Our Lil' Family Apr 9 2011, 06:07 AM | ||
I think she's right! While you may not be looking for a "boyfriend", as you say, you are looking for a companion = that's the same thing. It's like you are looking for someone to entertain you, keep you company, but you have to be happy in your own company alone first. I learned this from a counselor years ago, when Tim and I broke up before we got engaged. I was codependent on him to fulfill my needs, happiness, entertainment, validation.....I needed to fill those needs alone before we could have a successful relationship where I wasn't constantly relying on him for that. It was hard at first, lonely sometimes, but I spent time with friends and more importantly alone, and I came to enjoy that time alone......and still do, even more so now. I'm happy just being in my own company. |
| Posted by: boyohboyohboy Apr 9 2011, 07:53 PM | ||
I agree, it's hard to be alone, but sometimes we need that time to regroup. |
| Posted by: mummy2girls Apr 13 2011, 10:27 AM |
| I have been in this boat and as much as its hard to be alone( because you like the compaionship) you need to be alone. you may not have shed a tear but you ahve to look at mya and see how she is coping. You may think she is but she may be hiding what she feels. The best thing for me and Jenna was to just stop. just be me and jenna. Give jenna only me and just spend time with her. I was so happy. I loved it and I actually miss it at times...LOL. I stop trying the websites, and just focused on me. And a year later Marcus came into my life. They say once you stop looking thats when loves comes to you. I even stopped the crappy back and forth relationship with aron because i figured if it was meant to be then it will happen and because i stopped and it never resurfaced i knew we can only be friends... Just take a step back hun and just enjoy your life with mya. Give her that time to heal from the realtionships brought into her life. Its hard for a child to get attached to a "dad" figure to have that "dad" figure leave her. She may think its her... Im not mya so i dont know what she feels im just grasping at straws. BUT believe me that alone time will help. you will learn alot about yourself and what you truely need. Give yuourself time to heal from the last boyfriend... |
| Posted by: moped Apr 13 2011, 11:06 AM | ||
Slllllooooooooowwwww and steady wins the race! |