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| Parenting Club Forums > General Relationships > I'm so confused |
| Posted by: CantWait Apr 8 2008, 11:05 AM |
| So I call the boys the other day, and Ron ends up talking to me for like 20 minutes telling me he wrote me a long a** e-mail and he doesn't want to split, then we sat and talked on msn for another 3 hours, he's speaking with the padre etc.... and he wants us to get help (that he's sorry he didn't go two years ago when I initially asked), ohhhhhhhhhhhh gosh. He said he'll sleep on the couch when i come home on leave so there's no pressure. I'm so torn. I don't know what to do. Part of me loves him to death and wants to work it out, but the other part is SO tired of trying and arguing, and isn't sure if it wants to wait around another year or two to see if it will actually work this go around. I just thought I would update. I'm so so so torn. |
| Posted by: luvmykids Apr 8 2008, 11:31 AM |
 I'm sorry you're having to deal with this from so far away. I think it's something that will take some soul searching to figure out and might even take longer than you'd like it to. My gut instinct is that if you're still so torn, it's probably not time to call it quits but that's jmho |
| Posted by: A&A'smommy Apr 8 2008, 11:34 AM |
| Good luck with whatever you choose I can't imagine what your going through is easy!!!! |
| Posted by: gr33n3y3z Apr 8 2008, 11:47 AM |
| Only you know the right answer Give yourself time and dont jump into anything you will regret later |
| Posted by: kimberley Apr 8 2008, 12:02 PM |
| that is a tough decision. whatever you decide, we are here. |
| Posted by: TrulyBlessed Apr 8 2008, 12:04 PM |
| All I can say is prayer works. My DH and I have been on the verge of divorce and I prayed long and hard for God to restore my marriage and this past 3 weeks I have been falling in love with my husband all over again. I personally come from a divorced home and it is the worst thing I have had to go through in life. I really hope you can do everything possible to save your marriage. Marriage takes work, but it is so worth it rather than just throwing in the towel. I don't know your personal situation, but I hope you can work it out. Good luck and many prayers!! |
| Posted by: msoulz Apr 8 2008, 12:05 PM |
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| Posted by: CantWait Apr 8 2008, 12:43 PM |
He wrote me a poem  |
| Posted by: kimberley Apr 8 2008, 12:55 PM |
| awwwww. i am glad you know how he really feels before you make a permanent decision. |
| Posted by: Calimama Apr 8 2008, 01:48 PM |
| If you feel your marriage is worth fighting for even a tiny bit.. then fight for it. It's hard, there are ups and downs.. but don't let the downs define your relationship. |
| Posted by: lovemy2 Apr 8 2008, 02:52 PM |
| I'm sorry you are dealing with all this - maybe when you are home on leave things will make more sense |
| Posted by: sparkys2boys Apr 8 2008, 05:24 PM |
| I'm so sorry Marie. I think that maybe you need to wait untile you come to make any big permant decisions.. kmim. Right now you all have enough stress. I'm here if you need to talk |
| Posted by: MoonMama Apr 8 2008, 06:26 PM | ||
 110%!I'm really sorry your going threw this. |
| Posted by: Boys r us Apr 8 2008, 06:40 PM |
| Marie, I know you're scared to give it another shot..you're scared you'll be "wasting" your time on one more failed try. I'm not one to usually give relationship advice, but I am going to right now and take it or leave it..but here it is! I think that as long as one person is wanting to try to work it out, you owe it to your kids to try. Now obviously in certain situations,i.e. abuse, no..run for the hills! But, for your kids sake, don't you think that if he is whole heartedly wanting to try to make this work and at least half of you is, then maybe just maybe this will work! I don't share a lot publicly about my relationship..it's very good for the most part, but there have been times when it's been lacking, when I just wanted to walk away not because anything detrimental happened, but just because we both lost sight of why were fell in love with each other to begin with..we both got so cought up in our own lives and routines that we forgot to make the other feel important and we drifted apart. One day a few months ago, we decided we were going to seperate for awhile, we agreed that we just weren't as happy as we should be and by the end of the day we were both crying and having second thoughts..and so we decided that was enough to make us want to try harder, to love each other more, for us and for our family. We've had our ups and downs since then, but all in all, I know that we will be together forever..we just will and that I'm so glad we both found that love for the other tucked away inside before it was too late and we had made decisions we would have regretted later. If you have doubt in you Marie, then I think it's enough to give it the benefit of one more try, especially if he is willing to get help. Perhaps you being so far away has made him realize he doesn't want to live the rest of his life without you! Absence does some strange things to people!!! Whatever you decide, we're all here standing strong behind you!!!!!!!!! |
| Posted by: Sam & Abby's Mom Apr 8 2008, 07:04 PM | ||
I think that's very sweet of you to share something so personal! You make some very valid points, too. |
| Posted by: Sam & Abby's Mom Apr 8 2008, 07:10 PM |
| In my opinion, I think you should give it another chance. After all, you've already invested so much in this relationship and if you give up now, you'll probably always wonder 'what if'. What if counseling works? That would be awesome! It sucks that he wouldnt try it a few years ago, but the fact that he's bringing it up NOW is a great sign that he's very serious about this. Again, I dont know ANY details as to what the issues in your marriage are, but I think if you give it a try again and in a couple of years you realize its not working.........then that would not be two years wasted, but two years INVESTED in making your marriage work. Good luck to you and I truly hope it works out! |
| Posted by: Calimama Apr 8 2008, 10:32 PM | ||
Such a great post! |
| Posted by: coasterqueen Apr 9 2008, 05:16 AM |
| Marie, I have no idea what your situation is, why it has come to all of this, but I am here for you if you ever need to talk. My Dh and I have hit some very rough times, more so for him than me and there were some serious questions as to whether our marriage was worth fighting for. We are fighting though, and winning (I'd hope he'd say the same  ) slowly but surely. Marriage is a LOT of work and doesn't end at any certain time. Just think long and hard about it before making a decision. |