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| Parenting Club Forums > Precious Angels > How do you move on? |
| Posted by: AJD495 Oct 23 2005, 03:06 PM |
| I just had a question....As i posted earlier this week, i've had a really rough 2 weeks w/the loss of our baby, but i know a lot of you have been through the same thing or even worse, so i was wondering how do you get the courage to move on and try again? I know i'm still very raw on this whole thing, i really havent had the chance to grieve emotionally yet, cuz i've been in so much physical pain recovering from everything, but still, i am just petrified to ever try conceiving again. this has been more than i ever want to go through again, or even to chance that it could happen again. I keep thinking maybe we can just adopt or maybe i'm not suppose to be a mother, but being a mother has been my dream my whole life, i can't imagine my life w/o children! idk, someone please help me...any ideas, i mean i realize there is no "magic word" or nothing like "oh do this, and its all better" i just need something i guess...idk, i guess too, i know i need to face the emotions, but i'm scared to, because i'm afraid i'll start crying and never stop sorta thing, ok, i'll shut up now. thanks for listening and being there. |
| Posted by: luvbug00 Oct 23 2005, 03:14 PM |
| I am still trying to figure out how to prossess my greif. I've tried crying and screaming and soothing things like painting and keeping busy. I have not been arround much because i am doing all thase things but It's not working for me either..I am scared too to concieve again too. I felt the same way as you like I'm not good enough but you know what ? We are, you are. You will receive What is ment for you. If you are ment to have your own, you will and if you are ment to give a child who has nothing a home, you will and either way the love in your heart will pass on to another little person and you will find peace. I just pry it comes sooner rather then later and you are able to get threw this difficult time. |
| Posted by: amymom Oct 23 2005, 03:14 PM |
I know it is hard. But, like you said, it is still new, you are not going to 'get over this'. You will move on though. Just don't make any decisions right now, give yourself some time and cry if you need to.  It is helpful. Do you have real life support? Make sure you take advantage of it. |
| Posted by: six_kids_at_28 Oct 23 2005, 04:18 PM |
| I am sorry for your loss Just remember that you WILL be a mother, even if you are unable to have kids. Adoption is always an option. As for support, is their a friend, parent, sibling? Another mom in your area who has been through this? I feel your pain. I lost a child when I was 3 months preggy with him. I know that with you it is different because you saw him but just don't hide your emotions. My P&T are with you |
| Posted by: A&A'smommy Oct 23 2005, 04:21 PM |
| I have not been in your situation but if I ever was I'm sure I would feel the same way!!! I hope that things become easier for you to process soon and that you will get the family you have always dreamed of soon!! |
| Posted by: mummy2girls Oct 23 2005, 06:15 PM |
| Just take it slow! I have lost a son 6 years ago due to a genetic disease. i went on 3 years later to have a healthy little girl, and now just recently i lost a son at 19 weeks gestation. Its really hard to recover from thing like this! Just take it slow right now. I am still pretty hard on my self and people around me but i know in my heart it will get better! It will take time. Just let yourself grieve because it will do more damagae if you keep it bottled up! I know its hard to hear this but as time goes on the pain will still be there but it will be less and you will learn to handle the pain. There will be days and special occasions where it will set you back but you will get through it. 2 steps back one step forward! |
| Posted by: LoganAndAubreesMommy Apr 7 2006, 01:54 PM |
| I recommend grief counselling. I'm still in counselling since the passing of my daughter ten months ago. The most important thing is to let yourself FEEL everything that you are experiencing. DO NOT try to suppress any emotions. Feeling all of the emotions you experience helps you heal. Cry when you need to and talk about thoughts and feelings you may have. Keeping a journal is helpful to a lot of people. Trying to stay busy and preoccupy yourself will mask the hurt for a while but eventually you will have to deal with it. The best way to "get thru' it" is to let yourself feel everything. Remember...it will NEVER go away and it will NEVER get "better" but it DOES get easier. You learn to accept it and deal with it. Please let me know if you need any help or if you just want to talk.!! |
| Posted by: Halo42101 Apr 7 2006, 02:29 PM |
| I am so sorry for your loss. I know how difficult the loss of a child is because I just recently went through a miscarriage and was 12 weeks along. For some time after, I listened to what everyone said about moving on and trying again. I know they meant well and hate to see me sad but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to be angry, be angry. I tried to "move on," so to speak, but it caught up to me and now I am feeling grief and can't pretend or hide it anymore. I am scared to conceive again as well but also have always wanted to be a mother. I have learned that all these are normal feelings to have. Please know that you are not alone. We are here for you. This is a wonderful club full of loving, compasionate woman, who truly care. Hugs & love from, Jessi |