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Parenting Club Forums > Parenting Your Teenager > How do I Handle This???

Posted by: Kirstenmumof3 Jun 8 2009, 05:27 PM

My baby is growing up so fast. It's hard to believe that she's 14, graduating from grade 8 and in the fall going to Highschool. She meet a boy at her school and they never actually dated because he moved. He now lives in the USA. They have been chatting for months now, really nice kid. Some problems with both parents (his mother lives where we are and his father lives in the USA). Anyway today 2 weeks before school will be over, 2 weeks before her graduation, he broke up with her. My heart is breaking for her. She is hurting so bad and there is nothing I can do to make this all better. No bandage or a kiss to make it all go away. Nothing can ever prepare a parent for this. First crush, first break-up. I'm just so sad for her!

Posted by: My3LilMonkeys Jun 8 2009, 06:47 PM

Poor girl - there's really not much you can do for that. I would probably give her the "there's other fish in the sea" talk but I don't imagine that would be much comfort at her age.

It's nice to see you around though - how is everyone?

Posted by: my2monkeyboys Jun 9 2009, 06:27 AM

That is tough... I remember mine still. About the same age, too. My parents didn't really say much to me bc I didn't let them know how heartbroken I was (at least I didn't think they knew, but being a parent now I realize they probably knew anyway!). My dad mentioned in passing that is was the boy's loss, and that if he wanted some other girl he was too stupid for me anyway. It wasn't a big "talk," just a few comments made while we were watching tv that afternoon. It took a while for it to make me feel better, but it did.
I hope she bounces back quickly. First break-ups are rough.

Posted by: moped Jun 9 2009, 06:38 AM

I haven't dealt with it myself, but I think I would tell them about me getting broke up with.......Ah Emily, ya know when i was 15 years old I was dating a guy and he decided to break up with me, I was devastated, but then I realized etc etc..........I don't know but misery loves company

Poor girl!

Posted by: coasterqueen Jun 9 2009, 07:03 AM

QUOTE (moped @ Jun 9 2009, 09:38 AM)

That's probably what I'd do too.

Kylie was dumped by her "boyfriend" earlier this year.....obviously 6.5 year olds don't really have boyfriends nor do I like even talking about it

. BUT she came home crying because the boy decided he liked her best friend instead. She was BALLING her eyes out and I gave her the "there are better fish in the sea" bit and explained to her that if he'd just dump her like that and go for her best friend, he's not worth it anyways, blah blah blah......THEN I gave her the speech she was TOO YOUNG to have a boyfriend and we weren't having this talk again until she's 30.

Just be there for her Kirsten and let her know it's normal, we ALL go through break-ups, and it might hurt now, but she WILL feel better some day and find someone new.

Posted by: jcc64 Jun 9 2009, 12:53 PM

There isn't a whole lot you can do. My ds (13) had his last gf dump him for another guy--totally humiliating. I tried to talk to him about it, but it only made him more uncomfortable. I was thinking of writing him a letter--sounds a little ludicrous to write a letter to someone living under the same roof, but I figured it'd be a way to get my point across in a more palatable manner for ds. Good luck!

Posted by: A&A'smommy Jun 9 2009, 02:13 PM

awwww I remember those days vividly, there really isn't you can do just be there for her, comfort her and remind that she is young and there are LOTS of boys out there

Posted by: redchief Jun 9 2009, 06:51 PM

Erin just went through a break-up, but she was the dumper. Her ex has tried several times to contact her in an effort to patch things up, but Erin has already moved forward. On the whole Lisa and I are happy and Erin already has another romantic interest. Teen and young adult relationships are a necessary part of growing up. Break-ups are hard and the best thing I can think to do as parents is let them know we care about how they're feeling and try to be nonjudgmental.

Posted by: Kirstenmumof3 Jun 19 2009, 01:38 PM

Thanks everyone, sorry I didn't reply right away!!! Emily is doing better now!