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Parenting Club Forums > Parenting Your Teenager > My son - 15 years old

Posted by: hopefulmomtobe Apr 12 2007, 07:46 AM

My son is a straight A Honors student, he is even taking college credited courses already! He is a great great kid and really helps out around the house with out throwing a fit, keeps his room clean and does a lawn buisness with my husband (his stepdad) on the weekends. That being said - he is a bit shy and only hangs around a couple of guys. Everyone says he is really popular at school, but he just likes hanging out with only a certain couple of people and doesnt really like meeting new people. He likes to play a computer game online and has really come to like it a lot, sometimes we joke that he is addicted to it. Well - this seems to be the only real thing that makes him happy. Most of the time he just walks around mooping and bored. We try to get him out doing stuff but he would really rather just keep to himself. The online game isnt bad, he isnt doing anything bad on it...he is a really good kid, but I sure would like to see him getting out with his friends and family more (and actually having fun as well when he is with us) But, we cant ever seem to find the thing that excites him. Do you guys have any suggestions? Theres a picture of him. He really is a great kid, but I just wish I could get him out of his shell he is in. I feel like he is missing out on being a teenager..ya know??

Posted by: TheOaf66 Apr 12 2007, 11:50 AM

my only advice is to say he is a teenage boy. 15yrs old you are kind of at an inbetween stage. I wouldn't worry about it to much about it. Once he gets his license he will get out of his shell I think, but just monitor it, keep talking to him, he will come around

Posted by: hopefulmomtobe Apr 12 2007, 11:55 AM

Thank you for answering! I gave him the book to study for his permit and he is totally not interested, I have to beg him to drive (like on back roads) just to have practice and he never wants to and says he isnt interested in driving. I think I will have to throw the computer out the window to get him to snap out of it! Crazy kids! Thanks though, I really appreciate you ackowledging my post!

Posted by: kimberley Apr 12 2007, 12:35 PM

let him come into his own on his own. forcing the issue will only make him embarassed and retreat further. i would encourage him to maybe join a sport or activity.. maybe even volunteer or work somewhere. those are less threatening social situations for a shy kid. good luck.

Posted by: hopefulmomtobe Apr 12 2007, 01:09 PM

QUOTE (kimberley @ Apr 12 2007, 03:35 PM) let him come into his own on his own. forcing the issue will only make him embarassed and retreat further. i would encourage him to maybe join a sport or activity.. maybe even volunteer or work somewhere. those are less threatening social situations for a shy kid. good luck. I agree, I dont even mention anything to him ever...I have just been sitting back watching and wishing that he would get out and do more. I have asked about sports and he isnt interested, he says he feels awkwards, so I just let it go. There is no pressure there...I just let him do what he wants because he is really a great kid, but I just wish that he was interested in other stuff so he can get more in on his teenager years, KWIM??? Just mom being conserned from a spectators aspect. Thanks guys for the advice for sure!!!

Posted by: jcc64 Apr 12 2007, 01:45 PM

I have a son this age- some of it is pretty typical teenage behavior- as I'm sure you know. My kids can lose entire days on the computer if left to their own devices. Anything that takes up that much of your time isn't altogether healthy. It's not what he's doing on the computer, it's what he's missing out on. Luckily, my kids also happen to be sports junkies, and they spend alot of time on the ball field. This constitutes the majority of their social life. Their friends are the guys that they play ball with. Playing computer games is a pretty solitary activity. I would suggest limiting his time a little bit- not during daylight hours, perhaps, or not on weekend days, or whatever you and he think is reasonable. Enlist him in the negotiation. Ask him what he thinks is a reasonable amount of time to spend on the computer. Try to get him to understand that he's got to engage with the world a little bit. If computers are the only thing he likes, sign him up for a computer game design course at your local community college. Maybe he'll meet someone like minded. See if there's some other interest he has that you can help him cultivate. Maybe a week away at summer camp??? In any event, I wouldn't worry about it too much, unless he starts exhibiting signs of chronic depression and withdrawl, and that doesn't sound like the case at all. He's very cute, btw.

Posted by: ZandersMama Apr 12 2007, 04:39 PM

This sounds like my little brother. He is 17 now, and very social, never home. But, up until this year, he was ALWAYS glued to the computer. I'd say it's typical. Once he gets a girlfriend (thats what happened to my bro) he will never be home and you will have a new set of worries

Posted by: A&A'smommy Apr 12 2007, 04:44 PM

ohhh honey thats NORMAL he is just being a teenager, and I really wouldn't push him too much if he likes something let him keep at it who knows it might turn into some sort of career. BUT if you really want to try and encourage him to have friends over.. have a little party and let him invite his friends over, encourage him to invite some new kids and pretty much let them have at it in the backyard (my friends and i always enjoyed bon fires and you can do that without burning your backyard up). I'm still fresh out of being a teenager and I remember the moping and the keeping to myself he will grow out of it.. I did, I'm a social butterfly now

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