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| Parenting Club Forums > Parenting Your Teenager > What a weekend |
| Posted by: supermom Sep 14 2003, 04:30 PM |
| Well, it's been an interesting weekend to say the least. This is the second time the 14 yo DD has visited from her father's house, and things are not going well. She is thinking about staying here. That didn't last long!! LOL! I didn't figure it would, but thought it would be longer than three months!! That is really too funny as far as he is concerned, but really too bad that she finally realizes what a jerk my XH is. I guess he has told her that if she moved back in with me, she would NEVER be welcome at his house again (not even for a visit) and that is one of the reasons she is hesitating on not staying here NOW instead of waiting to see if things get worse. I think she's figured out they are not going to get better....... I really feel so sorry for her, but it's got to be her decision, because I can't go and fight for her and win without her wanting to be here with us instead. She is old enough to make up her own mind, but I am just worried what kind of psychological damage he's going to manage to do to her if she does stay with him for even another couple of weeks. Well, it's just about time to leave to meet him halfway, so time for her to choose what she wants to do. Of course I have told her any time she changes her mind, she is more than welcome to come to live with us. I have also told her it's not "fun and games" and she's got to be really, really sure. She's very wise for her years, and she knows I love her (told her that over and over and over!) so, hopefully that will soften his mental blows. Did I mention he's a jerk?? Well, I have a few other choice words, but I don't think they are appropriate language for this board. Sigh - I feel so sorry for her, and I really don't want her to leave. If she does, I am going to spend the next two weeks worrying about her. I am so glad I got her her own cell phone so I can call her without having to play his head games...... Thanks all for listening to me vent....... |
| Posted by: MommyToAshley Sep 14 2003, 04:40 PM |
| Oh that has got to be tough... I feel bad for her. I can't believe that he would say that she is not welcome back for visits if she goes back to living with you. OMG... I can't imagine how that made her feel. He really is a jerk (for lack of a better word). Give her hugs from us and let us know how it goes! |
| Posted by: A&A'smommy Sep 14 2003, 04:59 PM |
| WOW im so sorry for her and for you!! I hope everything will turn out alright and she doesnt get hurt!! But if she does at least she knows she a has a great mother and family to be there for her!!! |
| Posted by: Kirstenmumof3 Sep 14 2003, 05:13 PM |
 That is a tough situation. Your poor daughter must be torn to have to make that decission. I guess the only thing you can do is be there for her (which sounds like you are already) when she does come home! Your Ex sounds like a real JERK! :grouhug: |
| Posted by: DansMom Sep 14 2003, 05:31 PM |
| Uggh! I feel for her. My dad was pretty immature in a similar way, so I can relate. It will mean so much (the world) to her that you are solidly there and available and unconditional and a true parent to her.  |
| Posted by: supermom Sep 14 2003, 05:34 PM |
| Just to let you all know - she's decided to stay. I called and got his answering machine so I am sure there will be repercussions (this is the man I had to take to court to get my oldest son's stuff back from him when oldest DS moved back in with me). So, I am sure that it will be difficult to get her stuff back......at a minimum. But now at least I won't worry about her (for that reason at least, as a mom, especially with teenagers, I always worry - teehee) - I am SO GLAD she has decided to come home to stay! Now just to work thru all the rest of the crud we're gonna deal with.....and get her registered for school here tomorrow.....LOL!! Ought to be a fun day to say the least. |
| Posted by: MommyToAshley Sep 14 2003, 05:37 PM |
| I think that was the best decision. It's tough being a teenager without dealing with that crud from her father. The good thing is that she's got a great Mom and family that she is living with again. |
| Posted by: A&A'smommy Sep 14 2003, 05:51 PM |
| yeahh im glad she decided to stay with you too!!! She sounds like a very tough young girl!!!!! |
| Posted by: supermom Sep 14 2003, 06:13 PM |
| She is a wonderful young lady - not that we've not had our moments, too, but I've never said some of the things I have heard him say to her - she knows when she's crossed the line, and she is a bright, sensitive, intelligent young lady who I am very proud of........and I am glad she's home. I am just not looking forward to dealing with XH to get her stuff, but I thank goodness for my DH who will go and help me - both with the physical aspect of getting her stuff and the mental aspect of dealing with a jerk! Bless him - he's wonderful....... |
| Posted by: MomofTay&Sam Sep 14 2003, 06:33 PM |
Bev I am so happy she decided to stay! I hope the jerk doesnt give you a hard time about getting the stuff to her. You would think after so many years they would run out of steam and be fair. Wish her good luck starting school and I am thinking of you guys during this whole situation.  |
| Posted by: ~CrazieMama~ Sep 14 2003, 06:45 PM |
| WooHoo!!!!!!!! Glad to hear that she is back with you. I know how XH can be. I deal with one all the time. Hugs to you and your family... |
| Posted by: MomToMany Sep 15 2003, 03:19 AM |
 I'm SO glad that she decided to stay with you! Ugh, I deal with an X-H all the time, too, so I know how hard that can be! |
| Posted by: amynicole21 Sep 15 2003, 04:41 AM |
I'm so glad she decided to stay. What a jerk for making her feel unsure and unsafe when making her decision  What kind of parent does that?? |
| Posted by: supermom Sep 15 2003, 07:01 AM |
| The kind of parent who does that is one that is insecure about his own stuff - and I guess that it makes him feel powerful? Who knows - it just goes to prove what I've always said, and that was he didn't have a clue how to raise children.......he didn't help when we lived together when they got older, and so he really doesn't know ...... And I am so glad she's here too - we got her all fixed up for school this morning, and now we can work on seeing if we can get all her stuff back. Ought to be interesting.... |
| Posted by: coasterqueen Sep 15 2003, 07:03 AM |
| I'm glad she decided to stay and that things will work out. I hope she gets her stuff back. Good luck. |
| Posted by: jdkjd Sep 15 2003, 07:16 AM |
| I'm so glad she's back with you. It sounds like your X-H could have really done her some damage. Good luck with an addition to the household-but I imagine she can be a great help with the little ones. |
| Posted by: maliksmommy Sep 15 2003, 07:44 AM |
| Glad she is back with you and I am happy that you have such a wonderful DH now to help you deal with your horrible EX-H! I hope things go fairly smoothly in trying to get her stuff back. GOOD LUCK! |
| Posted by: Schnoogly Sep 15 2003, 07:58 AM |
| I'm so sorry...I had similar experiences with my dad, and she really does have to figure it out on her own. I wish we had cell phones when I was a kid--my dad and step mom used to listen in on my conversations with my mom and then confront me with things I said. It will be tough for her, but she does have to make her own decisions! Good luck to your family. |