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| Parenting Club Forums > Parenting Your Teenager > Teens Driving? Scary. |
| Posted by: jt2007 Jun 13 2007, 05:27 PM |
| Hello--- I'm looking for other teens parents opinions on teenagers driving. Here in CT you have to get your permit, wait 4-6 months depending on driving schools, and whatnot, to get your lisence. You can get your permit on your birthday. Well.. the big day is coming for my daughters, and I personally cannot even begin to decide. Miranda, straight A, honor roll all the time, varsity soccer player, really just an all around good kid. Sometimes a little bit of a liar to us, but shes been for the most part easy to raise, good kid. Now.. Elizabeth, we've delt with disaplionary (sp?) probation, verge of explusion, for stupid things, never anything serious, mouthing off, flipping out, snotty comments, nothing that was drastic. If it was drastic things it would have been easier to correct. A kid that hates homework, but started studying for her permit test at age 15, knowing she wants to drive that badly. Well, what can you do? I hate the idea of letting one and not the other, since afterall they are twins, and have done everything together. But at the same time, which one deserves it? Miranda over Elizabeth anyday. When I started having this discussion with the girls, and I said Elizabeth we need to honestly sit down and chat about this before it, she flipped out. Listed 100 reasons why thats unfair, never once denying she hasnt opened a book all year, or that during finals she was never studying, even after having everything cept that book taken away. I'm just at a loss. Part of me wants to let them both get it and just have strict limits on Elizabeths, but the other half of me wants to wait. I wanted to tell her, she needs to make honors two quarters, she can get her permit in Janish, and then in June if she made honors the last two then she can sechulde her test. But that is making her wait a full year. Be honest, what would you ladies/men do in this same position? |
| Posted by: CantWait Jun 13 2007, 06:55 PM |
| I have a few years to go on this so really I have no clue. I did want to say though, that expecting honors maybe a bit much, it's quite possible that honors isn't something she can acheive. However expecting her to do her work to the best of her ability, not skipping, and showing some respect is more then reasonable expectations for letting her get her licence. Good Luck. |
| Posted by: Jackie012007 Jun 14 2007, 03:38 AM |
| I'm 23 and I have a 5 month old so that is waaaay down the road, but not so long ago I got my permit. My mom let me get my permit when I turned 16 - here in NY you have to have someone over 21 who has a registered and insured car drive with you. I then had the option of taking driver's ed and getting my lisence when I passed, or having my permit a full year before I got my license. I was working at a summer camp so I had to make the choice between my job and drivers ed. I chose my job and practiced the full year before I got my license. I thought that was very reasonable. Perhaps you could give them a choice, that always goes over better with teens than saying "You'll do this". I was a handful much like your Elizabeth, as well |
| Posted by: gr33n3y3z Jun 14 2007, 03:54 AM |
| kids at 15 and 16 even 17 are to young to be driving they are not responciable enough including my own kids well at that point and time they were not but since they are older now yes JMO My daughter is 18 and just got her permit so she has 6 months to go to get her driver license I will admit 5 months was tied up with the Dr's And yes all of my kids went to driving school to save 10% each kid on my insurance |
| Posted by: redchief Jun 14 2007, 06:40 AM |
| Fortunately in NJ there are strict rules for permitted driving under the age of 18. Even at that, though, there are way too many high school deaths on the highways nearby. Every year there's a tragedy at every area high school and what should be a year of educational and career planning becomes one of memorials and lives ended too soon. Motor vehicle accidents are the number one cause of death in teens from 15 to 19. That's a fact. So, my daughter has her permit at 18. My boys had theirs at 17. How did we handle the fear? What rules did we place? http://www.njdefensivedriving.com/?OVRAW=nj%20teen%20driving%20rules&OVKEY=teen%20driving%20safety&OVMTC=advanced&OVADID=425651021&OVKWID=864551521 It sets rules for new drivers under 21. It's up to the parents to make sure that kids are following the rules. The police can't be everywhere, so we have to police our kids. NO DRIVING TO PARTIES. We never let them break that rule. If they're going to a party, a parent has to drive... They're not allowed to go to parties with friends driving either. We also have a no questions asked pick up policy. If they're in a place they feel uncomfortable, they can call for pick up anytime without being grilled by us. Our hammer? Teenagers hate being grounded. |
| Posted by: PrairieMom Jun 14 2007, 07:03 AM |
| Here a kid can get their permit at 14, but must have an adult in the car with them. at 16 they can drive on their own, but have a 8:pm curfew (state law) at 18 they can drive any time. I think. Mine are never going to drive. they are going to stay little forever. I refuse to have a teenager.  |
| Posted by: lovemy2 Jun 15 2007, 04:12 AM | ||
Holy COW - 14 to get a permit? Aren't they still in diapers at 14?????? That is very scary.....here it is 16 for a permit - I thinkthere is now a waiting period of maybe 6 months to get a license then you can't drive after 9 pm except work and school activities until you are 18... |
| Posted by: suzanner Jun 17 2007, 09:44 AM |
| my son is 16 and I am scared to death of letting him drive. he has a job and it's a 40min trip to drop him off then 40 more to pick him up. I have to get the baby up at 11pm when he gets off b/c my husband works midnights and then there's working around my work schedule when he works lunches to get him to and from his job. I'm ready to just breakdown and let him get his license. I have already bought him a car a few months ago, but he did aweful in school too. I think you are making the right decision to make your daughter wait. |
| Posted by: MyBrownEyedBoy Jun 17 2007, 09:52 AM |
| 15 for a permit here. 16 for a license. And I don't believe there is a time curfew other than the 10pm one for all children. Honestly, I say, nope. If you can't respect your parents and yourself enough to keep out of trouble (even for minor infractions) and keep your grades up to the absolute best of your abilities, then you haven't earned the priviledge of a permit. Driving is not a right and life is not fair. Tough lessons to learn, but better to learn them now than out on your own. |
| Posted by: PrairieMom Jun 17 2007, 11:46 AM | ||||
Its 14 here because so many kids out here are farm kids and NEED one to drive farm equipment. Plus, everything is so stretched out, you HAVE to drive to gert from A to B. some kids have a hour drive just to get to school. I agree, 14 is very young, but many are already driving tractors long before that.  |
| Posted by: polyphoniesauvage Jul 20 2007, 12:46 PM |
| Wooooooow. 14? 15? WTF? LOL! I don't know about the ages here in France (I did know when I got my citizenship, but after that I didn't need to know it -my fiancé drives and we both work at home together- so it slipped my mind, lol ) but I know that in New South Wales, Australia, at present, you have to be 16 to go for your Learner's (L's), and then you have to do like 50-something hours and be 17 to get your red... or green Provisional's (P's), not sure which comes first actually lol. And then... you have to do another amount of hours and be 18 to get your other P's (red or green, dunno) and then you have to do just a certain amount of hours to get a full licence, and by then you're like almost 19. Which I think is good.American laws confuse me. You can be driving a car at 14, 15, yet you can't drink until you're 21.  And then the movie ratings and stuff... bah! I personally don't get it. I prefer Australian laws. Lol. |