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| Parenting Club Forums > Parenting Children 8-12 Years of Age > This is disturbing |
| Posted by: chattycathy May 6 2007, 07:50 PM |
| So, ever since that voicemail was released with Alec Baldwin berating his daughter, it seems like a lot of people have been coming out of the woodwork saying, "I don't see what's so bad about what he said! I've done the same thing!" This is disturbing to me, for two reasons. First, because no one seems to be putting it in the proper context. I can understand getting fed up when your kid does something really bad. Or when you're fed up with a long-term pattern of behavior. But this was about visitation rights, not about her grades or something she broke. I've asked people point-blank, "But have you ever talked to your child that way during a divorce? Did that solve the custody problem, and open communication between you?" No one has an answer for that; they just keep telling their other anecdotes, which have nothing to do with custody and visitation. And the second reason has to do with what someone said to me in my first thread in this forum: "It's a problem when cranky is the norm." I see myself in some of these anecdotes, and it doesn't make me say "You go, girl"; it makes me say, "Oh my god, is that how I sound to Susie?" What I realized a few months ago is that I don't want to spend the next five years fighting and arguing and yelling. But some of these people seem to think that fighting and arguing and yelling is to be expected, even every day. And if it doesn't get the results they want, they keep doing it. I've actually been called a "warm 'n' fuzzy glurgemeister" on another forum, and mocked for suggesting patience. But it seems like if two people are at odds for years, and still can't come to an agreement, they must both be doing something wrong. I'm just amazed at all these people who see nothing wrong with that voicemail. Yes, it happens. Yes, I've even sounded like that a few times (although I never called Susie a pig). But it's not something anyone should be proud of, IMO. And I really wish these people would tell me how often they got the results they wanted. Because I know I rarely did. |