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Parenting Club Forums > Parenting Children 8-12 Years of Age > Need parenting advice


Posted by: boyohboyohboy Feb 15 2011, 11:14 AM
I got a call from the school today. Caleb's teacher said she caught Caleb cheating on a spelling test today.
Caleb is 9 yrs old. He is a distinguished honors student. He has a 100% in four of his classes.
He has been fine at home. His teacher said he has had a negative attitude at school.
It's taken me by surprise. He loves school, loves his new teacher, and finally made a lot of really good friends.
My husband took the call so I don't know anymore details yet.
I am wondering if it's something going on with a particular student or what's going on.
My dilemma is now to decide how to handle correcting this.
I want him to know this is really bad and cheating is not acceptable.
But I also feel this is out of character for him, and I am sure when he figured out how to cheat, he saw this opportunity and made the wrong choice.
Now we need to get him back on track.

Posted by: coasterqueen Feb 15 2011, 12:42 PM
Do you think he really knows what cheating is, that it's bad? I ask because Kylie mentioned that she was confused on a paper at school and so she looked at her friends paper to figure out what to do. I explained to her in length about that it was called cheating and the consequences, etc, etc and after having a long conversation about it she understood...before that she honestly really didn't know it was so terrible to do.

Posted by: jcc64 Feb 15 2011, 01:18 PM
He's 9 yrs old--I wouldn't overreact. Make sure he understands what cheating is, but keep the explanation and the warnings brief and age appropriate.

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Feb 15 2011, 02:39 PM
Well I think he knew it was wrong, because he told me he was having trouble with a spelling word and he didn't want to get it wrong on the text, so he put the index card the teacher gave him in his pocket and pulled it out when he needed it. So he knew enough to hide it.
What I did was make him write an essay (that he titled S. A.) ! LOL!
But he wrote today I got caught cheating, he described what he did and how it made him feel during the test, and then when he got caught.
We grounded him from all video games till further notice.
I think it's important he learns lying is wrong and we explained how he will be presented with opportunities to cheat as he grows and even as an adult. I think the important thing is he learns we need to do the right thing even when no one is looking.

Posted by: amymom Feb 15 2011, 03:47 PM
QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Feb 15 2011, 05:39 PM)
Well I think he knew it was wrong, because he told me he was having trouble with a spelling word and he didn't want to get it wrong on the text, so he put the index card the teacher gave him in his pocket and pulled it out when he needed it. So he knew enough to hide it.
What I did was make him write an essay (that he titled S. A.) ! LOL!
But he wrote today I got caught cheating, he described what he did and how it made him feel during the test, and then when he got caught.
We grounded him from all video games till further notice.
I think it's important he learns lying is wrong and we explained how he will be presented with opportunities to cheat as he grows and even as an adult. I think the important thing is he learns we need to do the right thing even when no one is looking.

Sounds like you are handling it very well. I can't give you any advice, but would like to say Nice Job Mom! Tough job being a parent! hug.gif

Posted by: My3LilMonkeys Feb 15 2011, 07:57 PM
QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Feb 15 2011, 05:39 PM)
Well I think he knew it was wrong, because he told me he was having trouble with a spelling word and he didn't want to get it wrong on the text, so he put the index card the teacher gave him in his pocket and pulled it out when he needed it. So he knew enough to hide it.
What I did was make him write an essay (that he titled S. A.) ! LOL!
But he wrote today I got caught cheating, he described what he did and how it made him feel during the test, and then when he got caught.
We grounded him from all video games till further notice.
I think it's important he learns lying is wrong and we explained how he will be presented with opportunities to cheat as he grows and even as an adult. I think the important thing is he learns we need to do the right thing even when no one is looking.

thumb.gif I think this sounds just right. Like others said, it may be that he doesn't understand the full implications of what he was doing - it's hard at that age.

Posted by: znljubica May 7 2011, 02:00 PM
You should talk with your son and find out what really happened. Teachers sometimes exaggerate.

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