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Parenting Club Forums > Parenting Children 8-12 Years of Age > Caleb update

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 25 2010, 05:10 AM

I am happy to report after a weekend of spoiling our kids, caleb seems much happier and less stressed.
The nightmares are still present but he seems like he wants to believe that things are going to be ok.
I am not sure what it is that he is really scared of happening. He tells me he is really looking forward to seeing his councelor this week. I am glad he feels he can trust him, although I of course wish it was me he felt he could confide in.
Dh has decided to stop having caleb ride the bus to school, and use that one hour each day to take him to breakfast and just hang out together. I think its working great. I havent seen caleb smile so big in a long time.
I hated the bus atmosphere anyway.

the one thing I am wondering about, is caleb kinda hinted that the guidence councelor at school was asking about his real councelor and I told him that he can tell that man anything and not worry about his secrets being told, or getting into any trouble. Do I have the right to ask the school to stop talking to caleb private and to not ask him about his counceling sessions?
I dont want to undermine the trust caleb has with councelor or make caleb think the school is out to get him, so I cant keep asking caleb if the school is asking him about it. I think if they stopped pulling him out of regular class for "meetings" with him he might feel things are back to normal.

Posted by: msoulz Jan 25 2010, 06:31 AM

I think if you tell them to stop the "meetings" since things are now resolved that may take care of it ... unless I missed something? Since you have your own counselor the school one is no longer requested and they should communicate with you instead of Caleb. Would that work?

Posted by: MommyToAshley Jan 25 2010, 08:11 AM

I agree, you have every right to ask them to stop these meetings and to request that you be notified in advance if they wish to speak to Caleb. You can then be present and decide whether or not you want them to talk to Caleb.

In a normal situation, I think it would be good for the couselor, the school, and the parent to meet to discuss issues so that everyone is on the same page. However, in this case, the school has acted unprofessionally and is probably just trying to cover their butts. They definitely should not be asking Caleb about his counseling sessions. If there is something they feel necessary to know, they should be asking you, not Caleb.

Posted by: luvmykids Jan 25 2010, 01:59 PM

ITA with Mary and Dee Dee, you have every right to, at this point, tell them there is no need for them to speak to Caleb especially without your knowledge or consent. I'm still horrified at the way they're conducting themselves, at our school if the counselor has spoken to your child a note is sent home. I absolutely trust our entire administration and would be out of my mind if I couldn't!

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 25 2010, 03:03 PM

QUOTE (luvmykids @ Jan 25 2010, 04:59 PM)

I did feel out of my mind, out of control for a while there, but things feel better.
Caleb hasnt had a ticket pulled since this thing started. He has also been right on task. The teacher is sending home notes to inform us of this.
Why again this wasnt done right away I dont know.
I have never dealt with the school system before, caleb is our first school age kid, so I didnt know there was any other way to go about this..
live and learn.
But I am keeping a super tight close eye on them.

Posted by: kimberley Jan 25 2010, 03:18 PM

sounds like ur on the right path. definitely ask the school to suspend the counselling sessions... since you have a private one, it's redundant and it's tough being the kid pulled out of class to see the counsellor. thankfully, they stopped this year with James. the counsellor just checks in with the teacher and leaves it alone. i know how frustrating and depressing it is that your own child doesn't talk to you but find comfort knowing he can talk to someone. for years, James wouldn't talk to anyone (until the psychiatrist) and that was far worse. hang in there. it gets better.