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Parenting Club Forums > Parenting Children 4-7 Years of Age > Pretend guns

Posted by: mysweetpeasWil&Wes Oct 22 2008, 12:30 PM

This may be a heated topic, but I'm just wondering if your boys seem to make pretend guns out of everything they find? We do not buy our boys play guns. I don't allow it. Water guns are ok, but they have to look fun, like the tube type, nothing that resembles an actual gun. I know they don't have toy guns at school either, but for some reason Wil picks things up, like his Linkin Logs and pretends they are guns. The shape (handle and pointy part) is exact. And it's not the pretending that bothers me, its the fact that he calls them his "Long Shot". I have NO IDEA where he got that term from. I have asked him and he shrugs his shoulders. My dad, bless his heart, is great at watching the boys, but he takes a very 1950's approach to parenting. You know, the "I played cowboys and indians when I was a kid, and I turned out fine". So I thought maybe my dad used this term "long shot", but I asked him and he said no. My inlaws are completely anti-gun, really have no toys in their home anyway, no TV either, so it can't be that. Anyhow, I'm stumped at where Wil gets this. Is it just boys being boys? Picked it up on the playground?

I don't know what to say when he pretend shoots at his brother. Just having fun or should I stop it before it gets worse??

Thoughts?

ETA: This is not meant against those that use guns or have guns in their homes. I know many of you do, so that is your own choice. It is just something I am against for our family and I'm wondering how parents deal with the issue with their kids, the issue of pretend play shooting and such.

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Oct 22 2008, 12:41 PM

Rae, When I first had caleb, I was so into being correct and doing the right thing...I wouldnt buy him guns, we didnt let him watch things on tv that had anything to do with guns..not even squirt guns.
but he turned everything into guns, french fries, his hands, things that didnt even look like guns.
then we had Jake and he is all boy..if you know what I mean, and everything is a gun again.
he and caleb do pretend to be cops and bad guys but not at the same time..so they are not ever shooting at each other..
we dont let them play that way.

we talk all the time about gun safety, but I dont think they listen and honestly I would worry greatly if there was a gun in our house..we dont intend to get one until we have a safe to put it in.

so, I guess what I am saying is, if you gave your boys dolls, some how at some point they would turn them into guns...

Posted by: mysweetpeasWil&Wes Oct 22 2008, 12:51 PM

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Oct 22 2008, 03:41 PM)

so, I guess what I am saying is, if you gave your boys dolls, some how at some point they would turn them into guns...

Oh that is FUNNY because it is sooooooo true!

Posted by: CantWait Oct 22 2008, 12:51 PM

Well I'm with you....little boys should not have play guns until they can realize what a real gun can do to someone. Water guns are fine though.

Robbie was raised like that and didn't have a pretend gun until he was at least 8 probably, and everyone that got presents for him when asked what he wanted, I would say whatever, except for a gun....otherwise it will be put away.

When he was allowed to play with them, we had rules, and the biggest rule was, don't point them at any living thing, animals or people. You can point it at furniture, and at walls, but that was it.

I don't think it will get worse Rae, it is a boy thing, and something he's probably getting from other kids, but I think it's a personal preference and whatever you're comfortable with.

Posted by: mammag Oct 22 2008, 01:33 PM

I think it is boys being boys. I certainly wouldn't worry about it. Many boys have toys guns and it in no way means they are going to grow up to be a school shooter or something any more than giving a girl a doll is going to lead to her getting pregnant as a teenager.

If you are worried about them coming upon a real gun some day and thinking it is a toy, the NRA has a great program called the Eddie Eagle program geared toward kids in preK to 3rd grade about what to do if they encounter a gun.

My kids actually shoot real guns and know all about gun safety so I'm comfortable knowing they would take it seriously. It would be the kids who have no knowledge on guns and gun safety that I would be more concerned about.

Posted by: kimberley Oct 22 2008, 02:10 PM

i think it's just boys being boys. i fought it as hard as i could but inevitably lost to their dad and friends

. my boys have rules though... they may never aim it at someone's head. pretend or not, it's not allowed.

Posted by: BAC'sMom Oct 22 2008, 02:52 PM

We never bought either of our boys guns but they still would pretend to have one. I think it is boys being boys.

Posted by: luvmykids Oct 22 2008, 03:35 PM

I am convinced boys have an innate knowledge of guns

Long before I ever let Colt have toy guns or see guns on TV or even know DH had guns he was making them out of anything you can think of.

Posted by: redchief Oct 22 2008, 03:37 PM

I seem to remember having toy "guns" made from nearly everything that could possibly pass for one. I was allowed toy guns but my mom was very strict about not pointing even a toy gun at anyone or animals. I did the same with my kids, but we didn't have any toy guns in the house either until they were 7 or 8. It really is a boy thing. It may be worth noting that despite the fact that I'm a pretty good shot, I don't own or have a gun in my house. This is not out of any feelings of fear or to be politically correct. If I had the time to hunt, I probably would; I just never had the time so purchasing a weapon would have been a waste of money.

Neither of my boys have shown any interest whatsoever, as adults, to shoot. They made "guns" out of all sorts of toys as kids too.

Posted by: lisar Oct 22 2008, 04:12 PM

Here is my view on this, Lexi and Raygen have pretend guns. But they are not allowed to point them at anyone. They have one that resembles a shot-gun that shoots these little sticky darts, they love that thing. They shoot the bedroom wall to make them stick. But they have to ask to play with it. I do that so that they wont just go and pick a real one. (not that there are any out laying around) and both of my girls have shot real ones. Raygen loves to shoot the paintball gun also cause she can see what it looks like after she shoots it.

Posted by: BabyOwen427 Oct 22 2008, 05:11 PM

Owen has toy guns, and Daddy has real guns. Daddy's are always locked up. Owen went to bed with one of his guns last night. We are trying to teach him not to point his guns at people, but that seems fruitless right now. Hopefully one day it'll set in.

Posted by: jacobsmama Oct 22 2008, 05:33 PM

Jacob has always pretty much had toy guns. We also make sure he knows that you do NOT point them at anyone ever. He has 10 toy guns and still makes everything into a gun and always has since he was old enough to play with stuff like that. So I dont mind, as long as he understands he is never to touch a real one and etc.

Jacob is very good about this kind of thing. Like I told him he is NEVER allowed in teh car without a booster seat. this kid will FREAK out if someone tries to take him somehwere or put him in the car without one..lol

I hope the same rule applies to guns with him..JMO.

Posted by: MoonMama Oct 22 2008, 07:35 PM

I'm ok with like water guns that are bright colors and look totally fake. But other then that no!

DH and I agree on this one.

Posted by: PrairieMom Oct 22 2008, 07:41 PM

we are a no gun family. No waterguns, no pretend guns, no nothing. my FIL is a avid hunter and used both guns and bow and arrow, and he wants to teach ben, but for now its a big fat NO WAY! He doesn't play shooting games, but unfortunately, he has found other ways to get his boys will be boys violent tendencies out, He is a ninja turtle, and runs and kicks, and "fights" Although, I insist, that we don't "Kill" bad guys, we just hurt them.

Posted by: Nina J Oct 23 2008, 02:58 AM

We don't have toy guns, and the girls have occassionaly pretending other toys were guns, but it isn't really a big thing.

I remember when I was a kid my grandmother made me a toy gun out of wood, a peg and a rubber band. So I could shoot people with rubber bands.

Posted by: gr33n3y3z Oct 23 2008, 03:09 AM

I had play guns growing up or hand made type with tree limbs that looked like them and I also use to target shoot real guns but I dont have any interest in them any more and have not for many many years.

Posted by: MommyToAshley Oct 23 2008, 04:32 AM

It's not just a boy thing.

Ashley doesn't have any toy guns, but I can tell when she plays with the boys at recess. On the days she plays with the girls, she comes home talking about how she jumped rope or played house. When she plays with the boys, she will come home doing Karate and using her finger as a gun. I've talked to her about why I don't like the idea of playing like she has a gun and she said, "but Mom, my finger is fake, not a real gun". I just used this as an opportunity to talk again about what she would do if she saw a gun (whether she thought it was real or fake) and how guns hurt people. But, I didn't forbid her from pretending her finger was a gun... although I really don't like it.

Posted by: Boo&BugsMom Oct 24 2008, 10:40 AM

QUOTE (mammag @ Oct 22 2008, 03:33 PM)

ITA.

Tanner doesn't have any play guns, but he does have army men he plays with. He turns a lot of things into guns, but he also knows the rules at his school. He is allowed to play certain things at home than what he is at school, and he understands that. He is also educated in what real guns actually do and how real ones are dangerous, which I think is far more important. I have also found that supressing the urge that is all too natural in a boy, just makes it way worse.