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Parenting Club Forums > Parenting Children 1-3 Years of Age > I need a sleep nazi mommy

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 13 2009, 10:45 AM

I need some help.
andrew is 16 months old. he is up every 2hours all night still, crying for a bottle. we have been trying to ween him during the day and he wont..
andrew is tough and stubborn, and honestly being baby number three I am ashamed to admit we got lazy and let him control us..now we are sorry.
today I had him to the dr, after numerous ear infections we assumed this really fussy baby had another..but we were wrong. there is nothing wrong with him except we have spoiled him.
so the dr said along with that..he is drinking to much milk. way to much and if we dont change the habits now, he is going to be anemic. so its time to get tough..
we need some help doing that.
if anyone is interested in helping some sappy, well meaning parents into getting a strong willed child to sleep on his own , self sooth, and let go of the bottle, we sure would be greatful..

if not, I have a really cute 16 month old for sale..

Posted by: lovemy2 Jan 13 2009, 11:09 AM

Busy at work right now Stac but I will respond to you tonite!!!!

Posted by: Kaitlin'smom Jan 13 2009, 12:03 PM

wow thats a issue huh, what does he do if you ignore him? what do you give him in the bottle? is he wanting to eat or just likes the sucking?

okay questions before some advice.

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 13 2009, 12:07 PM

QUOTE (Kaitlin'smom @ Jan 13 2009, 04:03 PM)

wow thats a issue huh, what does he do if you ignore him? what do you give him in the bottle? is he wanting to eat or just likes the sucking?

okay questions before some advice.

well andrew was on formula but we got him on the whole milk. so during the day its whole milk and also drinkable yogurt..
and then formula at night because we dont want to take the time to heat whole milk..
and he eats all night and all day, which is why he wont eat, he is full.
if you ignore this little man he immediately starts to cry huge tears and then after about 15 secs. can throw up like mount st helen..I mean every where..its so gross,and curdled milk and yogurt....and you can see why we just give in..
the mess isnt worth the hassel. but now apparently we have no choice..

rarely can we get him back to sleep with out milk..but if it is done then its done with constant rocking.

even during the day, when he doesnt get his way, he crys and then throws up.

Posted by: moped Jan 13 2009, 12:13 PM

Sure I can help......

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 13 2009, 12:23 PM

QUOTE (moped @ Jan 13 2009, 04:13 PM)

Sure I can help......

I dont know where to start?
do I go to kmart and get a large plastic sheet and put it under the crib? so he doesnt ruin my carpet.
do we just cold turkey him?
this is going to be hard.

Posted by: Calimama Jan 13 2009, 01:02 PM

I would get rid of the bottle cold turkey and get him some nuby sippy cups. He'll drink out of the sippy when he's thirsty enough. Plus if they are out of the house it'll stop you from being able to give in to him.

Once that adjustment settled down, I would stop the milk at night. I would give him all the water he wanted but no milk in the middle of the night. It sounds like it's more for comfort and at 16 months he doesn't need milk every 2 hours IMO.

ETA: Does he eat any solids? I would give him a sippy of water along with his food. Milk will fill him up and then he wont eat and at that age he NEEDS the nutrients from food.

How do you feel about CIO?

Posted by: Kaitlin'smom Jan 13 2009, 01:43 PM

okay this might seem a bit harsh but next time he throws a major fit place him in the tub, nakked if you can and tell him go a head have your fit, the crying till he throws up is a controll issue that needs to be dealt with asap, I had a nephew who used to do it and they did this a few times then after he woudl throw up they would turn the shower on him and hand him a wash cloth with some mild soap on it and say clean it up, he did not like it one but so the thowing up tanturms slowly stoped.

as for the waking up every 2 hours ther is something bothering him, he does not need the bottle nor the milk.

how does he seem when you go in when he wakes up after 2 hours?

Posted by: Our Lil' Family Jan 13 2009, 02:33 PM

I too thought of the bathtub idea, let him throw a fit and throw up in the tub, just sit there watching him as if it does not phase you.

Just remember YOU are the parent...YOU are the adult, he is a child! It's a complete control issue now.

He does not need milk during the night, and he probably shouldn't have it more than twice a day. He's waking now out of habit, plain and simple. Ditch the bottles....he should be using a sippy, soft tip Nubys will probably be easiest for him transition wise.

I think deep down you know what to do, you just don't want to have to do it...but if you don't now it'll just get harder.

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 13 2009, 02:59 PM

andrew does use a nuby cup for small sips..i keep it out on the table at all times..he doesnt use it as much as i wish he would.
he does eat solids, he used to eat well, baby food, then one day it was like he decided that he didnt want anything mushy..so we went to table food but he hated it..he likes things like chips and pretzels.he eats toast..one day he ate an entire grilled cheese sandwich.
he eats bananas but all this is on occasion..nothing regular..he is 24 pounds so he isnt skinny by any means..
and at 16 mnths I agree he shouldnt have the bottle..
he sleeps in our room in the crib.
we did that because he woke so much we didnt want him to get the other kids up..but we dont sleep. dh and I take turns with him..we dont ever sleep.
I have him till 1am and then dh takes him till 5am when he gets up.
its horrible.
I am fine and think its a good idea to put him in the tub when he starts to throw a fit, but i will have to sit right there so he doesnt get hurt..but do you think that will make him hate his bath? will he associate the tub with bad things..a time out..
we are not a fan of CIO but in this case I think we have no choice. I am going to do what ever i have to .
we always set him at the table with food that we eat too, and eat with him..and he is always given the cup..but i think he knows the bottle will come.

Posted by: msoulz Jan 13 2009, 03:30 PM

Do you think he would understand if you tell him Jake and Caleb don't use bottles or drink milk at night and now he's a big boy too? Or is that too young, I don't recall . . .

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 13 2009, 04:34 PM

QUOTE (msoulz @ Jan 13 2009, 07:30 PM)

Do you think he would understand if you tell him Jake and Caleb don't use bottles or drink milk at night and now he's a big boy too? Or is that too young, I don't recall . . .

thats what I keep wondering, am I attempting to have a conversation with someone way to young to know what I am doing.
and he is going to be so mad that I am sure he doesnt care what I say.
Its going to be all or nothing. he is really pig headed.

Posted by: Kaitlin'smom Jan 13 2009, 05:21 PM

on the bath tub thing, my sister worried out this as well but she used the shower and not a bath, no association with a bath at all bo toys nothing just the shower down on him while he cleans up. yes she sat there with him. sure it was hard but it only took a few times for him to nearly stop.

Posted by: msoulz Jan 13 2009, 06:20 PM

Oh that makes sense, maybe use a shower or tub different from the one in which he is bathed??

Posted by: moped Jan 14 2009, 07:45 AM

I don't think I agree with the bath thing.........I say ignore the fits and carry on with your business.

Posted by: mummy2girls Jan 14 2009, 08:08 AM

One trick i know a friend used... her daughter use to always have milk at night so one night she put a little bit of water in the bottle with the milk and eventually as the nights went on she was diluting it more and then she just refused the milk at night. You can try that.

one thing is cold turkey with the bottle. Thats what i did with jenna. she was almost 2 and still demanded a bottle. So i got those NUBY sippy cps and did that and i refused to give in to the bottle and eventually she used the sippy and only sippy.

waking up every 2 hours is a control thing i think as well. Try CIO. if he throws up then he does. Just clean it up and put him back in he will get it that throwing up will not get his way because thats what he learned. because all he had to do was throw up and you guys just gave in. So he knows.. kids are smarter than we give them credit.

Posted by: lovemy2 Jan 14 2009, 08:24 AM

I definately don't agree with the tub thing for a 16 month old child - IMO - older kids maybe but not a 16 month old -

I do agree - go cold turkey with the bottle - just get rid of it - he will drink from the sippy when he is thirtsy - believe me he will.....

As for the sleeping thing - I know its hard because of the other kids but you have to figure out a way to get him in a room of his own. You can't even begin to do CIO or any form of it unless he has a room of his own - he wakes, sees you there he will get up - if he is in his own room then you can do some form of CIO - doesn't have to be let him scream for three hours, puking CIO but you are going to have to be tough and let him CIO - as for the puking thing - he may have to puke on himself and sleep in it (more or less - you know what I mean) for a few nites before he catches on - maybe try to limit the yogurt, milk, etc. so he begins to eat more food - or switch to 2% or even 1% milk - he will not waste away - and after a few days he will begin to realize he has to eat food -

Once you get him to learn how to GO to sleep by himself then you can start to teach him how to STAY asleep or put himself BACK to sleep on his own when he wakes...

Does he have a lovie or blanket or something he is attached too? I am a firm believer in that - they need SOMETHING that soothes them - some kids its a thumb, some its a pacifier, some its a blanket - try to get one of the ones with a silky edge - or a stuffed animal he really likes, etc. they find a way to sooth themselves with it........

Posted by: moped Jan 14 2009, 08:57 AM

Yes, something like a blankie or animal would be good.

Posted by: Mommy2Isabella Jan 14 2009, 09:10 AM

As someone not a big fan of CIO. I have learned that we let our children control us. In the way that Isabella used to make herself throw up, we ignored it, or splashed a little water in her face when she did, and she has stopped doing it!!

Isaia was waking up every couple hours at night when he was co-sleeping to nurse when he really didn't need to anymore. I finally decided to put him in his crib and rock him to sleep at first, then he still wakes up at 12 and whines for a few minutes but I used to go rushing in there, you cant do that.

So my advice is, if he is acting like he is going to throw up, get a little squirt bottle that has a mist almost, and spray him, it will make him stop crying and he will get the point. If you don't want to do that, IGNORE HIM. I know it is hard, but SO WORTH IT. I woldn't let him scream for 3 hours and just let him keep going...

As for the milk thing, our ped says 8oz a day. Thats it, so Isaia has warm milk to go to sleep and that is it. If he wakes up and screams for more than 30 min. we will get him water!! He normally falls asleep after about 2 mins. when he realizes we aren't coming in to pick him up~

Good luck~

Posted by: lovemy2 Jan 14 2009, 09:29 AM

Still SO don't agree with doing any kind of spraying, splashing, bathtub thing with a 16 month old - but that is totally IMO - he is too young for that and I am not sure he even has the connection down -

Posted by: Calimama Jan 14 2009, 10:36 AM

QUOTE (lovemy2 @ Jan 14 2009, 09:29 AM)

I agree. I would just ignore him during the fits. Works like a charm for Miabella.

Posted by: momofone Jan 14 2009, 10:49 AM

could be teeth coming in causing pain.

Posted by: Boo&BugsMom Jan 14 2009, 11:12 AM

I don't think it's teething, or because he really is hungry. This has become a habit. Once your body becomes adjusted to a certain schedule, the body automatically will wake and fall asleep at the same times. If he is use to being given a bottle every two hours, his body is going to naturally wake up and want a bottle.

No different than us adults. When our body becomes use to being on a certain schedule, we wake up and fall asleep at the same times a lot of times.

Put it this way...he has been given a bottle during the night this whole time...he thinks this is "normal" and what is suppose to happen. He doesn't know any differently. It is up to YOU to show him that this is not ok and that he will not have one anymore.

I think, cold turkey. If he is hungry, he will eat. If he is thirsty enough, he will drink. If you keep on giving in, he will become that much more stubborn because he'll know eventually he will get what he wants because someone will feel bad for him and cave.

He's not a dumby...he knows the drill. Let him CIO at night. I know its' painful to the heart and ears, but you have to be tough about it because now you have a habit that will be hard to break. You have to be more stubborn than the child and take the control that belong to you.

Posted by: lovemy2 Jan 14 2009, 11:19 AM

QUOTE (Boo&BugsMom @ Jan 14 2009, 11:12 AM)

I think, cold turkey. If he is hungry, he will eat. If he is thirsty enough, he will drink. If you keep on giving in, he will become that much more stubborn because he'll know eventually he will get what he wants because someone will feel bad for him and cave.

Exactly - well said Jennie....

Posted by: moped Jan 14 2009, 11:43 AM

QUOTE (lovemy2 @ Jan 14 2009, 02:19 PM)

QUOTE (Boo&BugsMom @ Jan 14 2009, 11:12 AM)

Exactly - well said Jennie....

Me three!

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 14 2009, 12:40 PM

QUOTE (momofone @ Jan 14 2009, 02:49 PM)

could be teeth coming in causing pain.

i had the dr completely check him from head to toe yesterday so we would be sure there are no other reasons he is waking and crying..
she said he has no teeth coming in right now..
he is just stubborn at this point..
no ear infections..no issues at all. completely healthy. and she recommended we let him cry. thats why i posted for help. i am so bad at it...
but as soon as i get dh on board we are going to do it..
andrew is his little man

Posted by: lovemy2 Jan 14 2009, 12:55 PM

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 14 2009, 12:40 PM)

andrew is his little man

but in the end Andrew will be better off for it - eventually the not sleeping a full sound nites sleep will catch up to him and make him a little cranky butt

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 14 2009, 01:13 PM

QUOTE (lovemy2 @ Jan 14 2009, 04:55 PM)

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 14 2009, 12:40 PM)

andrew is his little man

but in the end Andrew will be better off for it - eventually the not sleeping a full sound nites sleep will catch up to him and make him a little cranky butt

what comes after cranky butt, because i think that is where he is at...

Posted by: lovemy2 Jan 14 2009, 01:31 PM

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 14 2009, 01:13 PM)

QUOTE (lovemy2 @ Jan 14 2009, 04:55 PM)

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 14 2009, 12:40 PM)

andrew is his little man

but in the end Andrew will be better off for it - eventually the not sleeping a full sound nites sleep will catch up to him and make him a little cranky butt

what comes after cranky butt, because i think that is where he is at...

Nut Man

Hang in there

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 14 2009, 01:35 PM

my dh is concerned about starting cio before we get him eating better..he thinks its mean to take his bottles and not have him eating during the day. I said I dont think it will take long for him to start eating..so today, he had a bottle at 4am, and then he ate half banana and toast..and then did great until almost 920am and then I think I waited to long to give him a snack..so he had a 4 ounce bottle then a waffle..and then had toasted cheese for lunch and also a banana for snack later on..and only had about 8 ounces of bottle during his nap..
so we have really cut back today, and I am hoping since he ate like that, and I added rice to the milk today, to add calorie intake for the day..he might just sleep a little better which would justify it for my husband to start cio..
he really did well today and didnt fuss about the bottle to much.

Posted by: msoulz Jan 14 2009, 01:37 PM

WTG Andrew - keep it up and Mom an Dad will be much more fun as they will actually be awake during the day!!

Posted by: moped Jan 14 2009, 01:43 PM

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 14 2009, 04:35 PM)

that is still ALOT of milk for a guy his age. Why not cut out the bottles, give him ilk in a sippy and limit the intake of milk, because he is filling up on milk and not wanting to eat at all........not sure if I am making sense, but I think all these things need to be done all at once.

Posted by: Mommy2Isabella Jan 14 2009, 05:29 PM

Well said Jenn!

Posted by: Calimama Jan 14 2009, 06:28 PM

You know the other thing that occured to me this morning are his teeth. Does he have any? Bottles are REALLY bad for their teeth, and bottle rot (which he can get since he gets milk all night) is a big issue. Our neighbors son is going under next week to get 8 cavities filled. Don't mean to scare you but it's something you might want to think about.

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 15 2009, 05:27 AM

QUOTE (moped @ Jan 14 2009, 05:43 PM)

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 14 2009, 04:35 PM)

he only had 12 ounces of milk..that day..
and the dr said he was allowed 16 ounces in a 24 hour period and then the rest of his drinks should be water.. or juice.

I thought he did pretty well for his first day and started to take more solids.

but honestly he slept worse last night then ever..
I dont know if it was that he didnt take in as much calories and fat as he is used to with the milk he used to drink or not..
but he certainly didnt sleep better eating the solids he ate.

Posted by: moped Jan 15 2009, 07:22 AM

Sorry, 12oz isn't bad........I thought it was more.

Any progress with getting DH on board?????

Posted by: Kaitlin'smom Jan 15 2009, 09:30 AM

its going to take a little time for him to eat more and not fill up on milk, Kaitlin has done this, and will if I let her. I have to watch at meal time she eats and not suck down the milk which will fill her up temporarly and then a little while later I am hungry. I said food first with a little water or juice then milk

Posted by: Sam & Abby's Mom Jan 15 2009, 09:45 AM

I know I've mentioned the book 'Solving your child's sleep problems' by Dr. Ferber to you before and you said you didnt agree with Dr. Ferber BUT have you thought about reading it again? The book addresses these exact issues. Dr. Ferber doesnt suggest cold turkey, either. His suggestion was what Shelly suggested,,,,,,,,,,,,, start diluting his milk bottles with a an ounce or two of water. Every few days, increase the amount of water and decrease the amount of milk. Once the bottle becomes nothing but water, he should become bored with it and he will also start eating more during the day. Right now, his body used to getting that milk at night and isnt eating as much solid food because of the milk during the night.

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 15 2009, 11:11 AM

QUOTE (moped @ Jan 15 2009, 11:22 AM)

Sorry, 12oz isn't bad........I thought it was more.

Any progress with getting DH on board?????

last night andrew got up every half hour and this morning I only saw dh for about an hour and he isnt talking to me right now

so when he gets home hopefully he is in a better mood.
we are all really tired
I am going to suggest the watering downt he formula tonight and get that started.

Posted by: Boo&BugsMom Jan 15 2009, 11:12 AM

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 15 2009, 07:27 AM)

but honestly he slept worse last night then ever..

It will always get worse before it gets better. He is going to be worse at first because he wont be getting what he wants and what he has been accustomed to is going to change.

Nobody likes change. BUT, if you stick to your guns and do NOT give in, he will shortly learn he can't have it and who really is the boss of the house...don't let it be him.

Remember, he only knows as much as he has been exposed to, so he is going to think that his bottle is ok until it's taken away. He wont learn he can't have it unless you take it away.

Posted by: moped Jan 15 2009, 11:14 AM

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 15 2009, 02:11 PM)

QUOTE (moped @ Jan 15 2009, 11:22 AM)

Sorry, 12oz isn't bad........I thought it was more.

Any progress with getting DH on board?????

last night andrew got up every half hour and this morning I only saw dh for about an hour and he isnt talking to me right now

so when he gets home hopefully he is in a better mood.
we are all really tired
I am going to suggest the watering downt he formula tonight and get that started.

So did you make him CIO last night?

Posted by: Boo&BugsMom Jan 15 2009, 11:15 AM

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 14 2009, 03:35 PM)

my dh is concerned about starting cio before we get him eating better..

DH needs to understand that the reason for him not eating much is because he is filling up on milk and holding out for his bottles.

He wont eat better if he is still getting it, so in order for him to eat better he needs it taken away first.

Even Tanner, I limit his liquids during meals sometimes. All kids will tend to do that.

Posted by: moped Jan 15 2009, 11:18 AM

QUOTE (Boo&BugsMom @ Jan 15 2009, 02:15 PM)

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 14 2009, 03:35 PM)

my dh is concerned about starting cio before we get him eating better..

DH needs to understand that the reason for him not eating much is because he is filling up on milk and holding out for his bottles.

He wont eat better if he is still getting it, so in order for him to eat better he needs it taken away first.

Even Tanner, I limit his liquids during meals sometimes. All kids will tend to do that.

Stacy, this is so true. It is a vicious circle

If he sleeps better, he will eat better, making him a happy happy boy, that will grow better. In order to grow you need sleep, food, etc.........see the circle!

Posted by: Boo&BugsMom Jan 15 2009, 11:25 AM

QUOTE (moped @ Jan 15 2009, 01:18 PM)

QUOTE (Boo&BugsMom @ Jan 15 2009, 02:15 PM)

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 14 2009, 03:35 PM)

my dh is concerned about starting cio before we get him eating better..

DH needs to understand that the reason for him not eating much is because he is filling up on milk and holding out for his bottles.

He wont eat better if he is still getting it, so in order for him to eat better he needs it taken away first.

Even Tanner, I limit his liquids during meals sometimes. All kids will tend to do that.

Yep, and the reason he is waking up is because he is use to being given a bottle when he does...which is why he isn't sleeping well. A viscious cycle it is. Sounds like DH is using that as an excuse to not do anything about it.

DH needs to man-up and take the bull by the horns!!! You can tell him I said that if you want.

Posted by: moped Jan 15 2009, 11:28 AM

QUOTE (Boo&BugsMom @ Jan 15 2009, 02:25 PM)

QUOTE (moped @ Jan 15 2009, 01:18 PM)

QUOTE (Boo&BugsMom @ Jan 15 2009, 02:15 PM)

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 14 2009, 03:35 PM)

my dh is concerned about starting cio before we get him eating better..

DH needs to understand that the reason for him not eating much is because he is filling up on milk and holding out for his bottles.

He wont eat better if he is still getting it, so in order for him to eat better he needs it taken away first.

Even Tanner, I limit his liquids during meals sometimes. All kids will tend to do that.

I understand Stacy that you and your DH consult each other about things and if I recall he makes the decisions or is the head of the house? I think I remember that from a while back. YOU are the one that is with the children all day, to me, this is something you just DO and tell him how it is going to go. But I am a bit harsher than most wives......

You will get it figured out by whatever method you like, but keep in mind Andrew needs his 12 hours sleep and a big nap, he needs to eat better and he needs a schedule, they don't like surprises.........

Posted by: Boo&BugsMom Jan 15 2009, 11:46 AM

QUOTE (moped @ Jan 15 2009, 01:28 PM)

QUOTE (Boo&BugsMom @ Jan 15 2009, 02:25 PM)

QUOTE (moped @ Jan 15 2009, 01:18 PM)

QUOTE (Boo&BugsMom @ Jan 15 2009, 02:15 PM)

QUOTE (boyohboyohboy @ Jan 14 2009, 03:35 PM)

my dh is concerned about starting cio before we get him eating better..

DH needs to understand that the reason for him not eating much is because he is filling up on milk and holding out for his bottles.

He wont eat better if he is still getting it, so in order for him to eat better he needs it taken away first.

Even Tanner, I limit his liquids during meals sometimes. All kids will tend to do that.

I do the same thing with Troy when it comes to some things.

Like yesterday...my rule is food is eaten at the table unless it's a nonmessy snack like fruit snacks. Aiden wanted an apple for a snack so I made him sit at the table. Well, Aiden lately has not been wanting to sit at the table for much of anything other than his 3 meals. Troy went and gave him the apple and let him walk around with it, so I had to take it from Aiden and make him sit with it. Troy thought it was "easier" to just let him have it.

The moral of the story...the "easier" way usually is not the right way, or in the best interest of the child.

If I let Aiden walk around with all food, he will eventually never want to sit at the table. Thus, forming a bad habit of giving in and fighting with him to sit while eating. In the end, having a huge battle of wills on our hands to break the habit and listening to him throw HUGE fits over just sitting at the table. See where this is going?

Once things get out of hand, they are hard to change, but we have to put our foot down in the best interest of our children.

Posted by: lovemy2 Jan 15 2009, 12:27 PM

I totally agree with the Jen and Jennie team

not to mention that too much milk at the age is a sure cause of anemia as you mentioned so maybe pointing out to DH how it can jeopordize his health would help.....I am sure it isn't that DH doesn't want him to sleep, etc. he just feels bad - its hard - but I would sit down with DH - make a plan and stick to it....you have some good suggestions here tailor them to your way of thinking but remember it won't be an easy won battle......

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 15 2009, 01:28 PM

do you think you could all just come on over here and take over for about two weeks, and I could go, oh, I dont know, on vacation

Jen, my dh is head of household, but we always confer on things and usually always come to an agreement..he doesnt pull rank or anything like that.
we are indeed trying to come up with a game plan we both can agree on so that once we start its not something we go back on and confuse andrew or make it worse for him.
andrew as you can imagine is a mess today, crying and very frustrated..
he isnt eating for me or taking bottles today.
he is to tired I think.
I am going to try to get him down earlier tonight and then dilute the bottles.
and my hope is to then have dh on board.

Posted by: Kaitlin'smom Jan 15 2009, 02:24 PM

this is got to be frustrating for you, also make sure you get a good bedtime routine, so he knows its bed time. I hope he sleeps better for you.

Posted by: lovemy2 Jan 15 2009, 05:02 PM

Sounds good Stacy - just get the plan together between the two of you first so you have no confusion - or confusion for Andrew - another thing I used to use with my two more when they were infants but chamomile tea - it is calming and also helps their tummies - I made the tea then diluted it but made sure it was still warm - but not too warm for them obviously - once you get a bedtime routine down it might help to be the last thing he gets before he goes down......

Posted by: Boo&BugsMom Jan 15 2009, 07:47 PM

QUOTE (Boo&BugsMom @ Jan 15 2009, 01:25 PM)

Sounds like DH is using that as an excuse to not do anything about it.

DH needs to man-up and take the bull by the horns!!! You can tell him I said that if you want.

Stacy, I have to clarify and apologize. After re-reading this post I made it sounds like I was bashing your DH, and I truly don't have that intention if it came that way. The way I meant it was different than what I posted. What I wanted to say...

"I am sure DH is really heartbroken when he hears Andrew cry and I am sure he thinks it is better to just give in to make him happy. But, in the end, it's not making anyone happy. Hopefully he can see that letting him CIO and getting tough will in the end make everyone a much happier bunch.".

Ok, I feel better now. After I read that later on, I thought it sounded kind of harsh.

I mean the part about taking the bull by the horn though.

Posted by: luvmykids Jan 15 2009, 08:19 PM

I agree with everything Jenn, Jennie and Christine have said and can't stress enough the bed time routine. He's not sleeping well not only out of the disruption to HIS routine but because he is used to getting the bottle to go to sleep...not because he's hungry, but because that is how he does it. It might take some crying jags for him to figure out he has to fall asleep without it, but don't fall for it thinking it's because he's starving.

I can't imagine how exhausted and frustrated you and DH both must be

but no matter how tough it gets, it will only be for a short time in comparison to living this way for another year or more. I know it feels awful while you're going through it but honestly I don't think it would take him long to readjust. At his age he is able to make some connections pretty darn quick and it might only take a week or two, but if you halfway do it or start and stop that will drag it out for so much longer.

Hang in there and keep us posted on your progress

Posted by: boyohboyohboy Jan 16 2009, 02:36 AM

QUOTE (lovemy2 @ Jan 15 2009, 09:02 PM)

christine, that tea sounds like a good idea....and it wouldnt be milk...
I am going to try that..before nap today.

we do have a good bedtime routine..

He is the one who comes to us right before 7 each night and starts to kiss us all..and we say ok its night night time, and he waves to his brothers and goes with no problem.
then we rock him and feed and he is asleep in 5 mins..
no problem.but our routine has to change.

Jennie, I didnt take your posts as husband bashing at all. I dont like to hear my kids cry either, its not just him. He really had a hard time when Jakob didnt eat and went thru all that he did..so the not eating I think scares him. He has said to me on many occassions, why dont our kids just eat? so I think some of it is fear of what might happen if we take the bottles away and he still refuses to eat. I can see that as a rational fear..But I remind myself and him that Jake wasnt normal and that this is him..andrew is perfectly healthy just stubborn.

he diluted the bottles again, and we are going to keep pushing food and I have been distracting him during the day so not to offer bottles..his sleep is worse still but it might be he is now starting to get hungry..
I know we havent come to the hardest part yet..but I hope its soon.

Posted by: A&A'smommy Jan 16 2009, 07:04 AM

I hope it gets better for you Stacy, I KNOW how hard all of this can be but it will get better!! Good luck and keep us updated on the progress